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Original poster

Experience of having three kids

47 replies

Wingingthis · 07/08/2020 17:59

Currently have 2 lovely DDs. Youngest is 3 months oldest is 2.5 so definitely not having another any time soon. BUT interested to hear peoples opinions on having 3 children? I’m finding 2 a struggle atm but I know it’s early days/a bit of a weird world at the moment!

OP posts:

Dowser · 07/08/2020 19:39

Hard.
Especially when the youngest arrived with special needs
Thank god my mum was there every day.
We had 3 under 4.5 years
Mental
Spaced out would’ve been far better.

britespark1 · 07/08/2020 19:44

I have 3 with a year between each. It was very hard in the early years (now 9, 8 & 7). As above, I was very lucky as my mom helped out almost daily back then. In some ways it was good to get the baby stage and nappies all done and dusted . Wouldn’t change it for anything, despite the noise levels!

PotteringAlong · 07/08/2020 19:48

Mine are 7, 5 and 3. I had no family help at all. 1 to 2 was a doddle, 2 to 3 nearly killed me.

You are outnumbered, you never have enough hands and when you divide and conquer one of you is still left with 2 children! Your car choices are limited to fit in 3 car seats, all family stuff is geared towards 2 adults and 2 children and your childcare bill will make you faint. But other than that...

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Ewandreams · 07/08/2020 19:49

I have an 18 month gap and then a 7 year gap, I personally love 3 and haven't found it hard to manage

Nosuchluck · 07/08/2020 19:54

Mine are all grown up now, it's lovely having three.

BringBiscuits · 07/08/2020 19:57

Mine are 12,9 and 3. It’s hard. Wouldn’t change it but our gap means they’re not into same things or will ever be at same school as each other.

Cupcakegirl13 · 07/08/2020 19:58

I had 3 in 4 years , one to two was the killer for me , two to three much easier and I enjoyed my third so much more as a baby because I felt more experienced and relaxed.

dementedma · 07/08/2020 19:59

We had two dd's close in age and then a 9 year gap to very unexpected DS. A big gap is weird. He is 18. Dd1 will be 30 this year. At one point I had one in secondary, one in primary, and one at nursery. Tough times.

FourTeaFallOut · 07/08/2020 20:02

13, 11 and 6. It's lots of fun, they make for a good team despite the age gap. It was hard when ds3 came along, we didn't have any help but once we'd outrun the sleepless nights it's been a blast ever since.

olivesandpecans · 07/08/2020 20:05

We have three: 6, 2 and three months. So far (despite the lockdown) am loving it. We looked carefully at childcare costs and things like cars and hotel rooms etc before planning the age gaps as we have no family support (my dm is poorly and my in-laws live too far away.) I also found going from 1 to 2 harder than 2 to 3 but so far ds2 is a very chilled baby.

Mumoflittles · 07/08/2020 20:19

We have three. 6, 4, 7 months. I definitely found going from 1-2 harder. I feel like if we had anymore they would just slot in!

OhTheTrees · 07/08/2020 20:32

Yeah, i agree with some others that you've done the hard bit, of 1 to 2. We've just had number 3, in lockdown, so no family help, and family all live overseas anyway... honestly I've loved it. As long as you're not too precious about routine, because sometimes naps have to be shifted around, and if one kicks off at bedtime then the others might be slightly later to bed than planned, but for the most part it has been great having an extra member in our family. The kids have adapted to a new baby much better than my eldest did when number 2 came along. I'm even contemplating a 4th ;) but financially and for the sake of the planet i think we'd better not...

Fungster · 07/08/2020 20:34

I have three - aged 12, 9 and 6. Wouldn't change it for the world, although it makes it awkward to travel as everything seems to be set up for families of four!

passthemustard · 07/08/2020 20:36

Three was fine, I had a 3 yr gap between each. It was when the 4th came along it got ridiculous.

weegiemum · 07/08/2020 21:06

I have 3 - 20, 18 and 16 and had 3 under 4 for a few months! No3 was totally unplanned (mirena failure) but wouldn't be without her.

We found 1-2 awful, so we're pretty surprised when 2-3 wasn't anything like as bad. Got all the nappies (and I used washables), sleepless nights and breastfeeding over all at once - I was pg or bf for almost 6 years solid.

I don't do pregnant well (rare kidney side effect) so would never have planned 3. But I live it. It seems so quiet now Dd1 has moved out for uni, but the other two keep me on my toes!

JumpingFrogs · 07/08/2020 21:11

My 3rd turned out to be a set of identical twins, so had four under 5s! I still think the hardest transition was going from being child-free to one child!

JimMaxwellantheshippingforcast · 07/08/2020 21:18

I had mine all two years apart. I thought I was so clever getting the nappies and sleepless nights over with relatively quickly.
What I didn't bargain for was 8 years of exam stress.

I used to think my day was a success if I didn't have all three crying at once at any point during the day.

DD used to think I had 2 laps. Occasionally I'd have two sat on one leg and the third on the other leg. She was the youngest and was highly delighted if she got both my laps to herself

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 07/08/2020 23:11

Someone once said to me - when it was already too late - that you don’t have enough laps for 3 DCs, you need one parent per child .

TBH I’ve been a single parent since my youngest was about 5 so I definitely don’t have enough laps, but luckily DS1 has never been that bothered about physical affection so at least there was usually only 2 wanting my attention!

I was one of 3 and I always wanted at least 3, so tbh I wouldn’t have it any other way. But it is hard juggling them when they’re little.

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 07/08/2020 23:19

We have DD1 5.5 and DTs 2.5. For a while, we had three 3 and under! That was a bit mental.

But overall, good. It makes sibling rivalries and jealousies less intense imo. Often the twins play together, but sometimes DD1 teams up with one twin for a game, and sometimes all three play together.

Where it's difficult is in situations where they need close watching. We went to the seaside today and both twins managed to fall over at the water's edge with waves coming towards them at the exact same time DD1 was shouting for something. Stressy, but you just prioritise ruthlessly, I think.

starlingsintheslipstream · 07/08/2020 23:25

@JumpingFrogs

My 3rd turned out to be a set of identical twins, so had four under 5s! I still think the hardest transition was going from being child-free to one child!

I totally agree with the hardest transition being from childfree to 1dc. Not that I have the pleasure of twins! Mine were 6 and 3 when dc3 was born so a pretty easy age gap compared to some previous posters. I love having 3. It was what I'd always envisaged and I can't think of any downsides really.

PotteringAlong · 08/08/2020 17:40

@JimMaxwellantheshippingforcast I hadn’t even considered 8 years of exam stress

ILiveInSalemsLot · 08/08/2020 17:53

You are outnumbered, true, but I find that inequality makes for more fun times as well as more stress.

Wotrewelookinat · 08/08/2020 20:47

@JumpingFrogs

My 3rd turned out to be a set of identical twins, so had four under 5s! I still think the hardest transition was going from being child-free to one child!

I came on to say the same!!

Roselilly36 · 08/08/2020 20:58

I only have two DS’ 21mth gap, comments of friends that have 3, range from needing a bigger car, tiredness, days out/meals etc are set up for families of 4. It wouldn’t have put me off though.

sydenhamhiller · 08/08/2020 21:05

I have a 16, 14 and 8 year old.

I love having 3. My NCT friends are so surprised I am the one (only one of 8) to have 3 as I really struggled with dc1: he was a high needs baby and I had a touch of PMT.

I found 2 toddlers exhausting - but when DC2 was 4 I suddenly thought ‘I’m not done’. I had a miscarriage when DC2 was in Reception so there is a slightly bigger gap than planned.

The gap means that dc3 is slightly more like an only child at times, now that the older 2 are teenagers and very self sufficient, but I also really really really enjoyed her. The fact that they were y1 and y3 meant it was a bit like having just one child - but without all the worry and stress.

The gap also meant that we can squish them all into the back on a car, as the older 2 don’t need car seats.

I do have a fair few friends with 4 or 5 children, so having 3 makes me feel like I have a small family in comparison.

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