Daft as a brush, and other very British sayings

[GypsyRoseGarden]

Reading another thread, a poster mentioned “daft as a brush” which made me smile - it’s so very British - expressive but not vindictive

Another saying I like is “completely trollied” for so very drunk that they can’t walk straight

What are your favorite very British sayings ?

And Fannys your aunt
Keeping up with the jones
Hiligdy pigildy. (Can't spell)
Spending money like water

Were you born in a barn

My dad always used to say "as bent as a nine bob note" its sad that these days it just gets a funny look.
I say "roberts your mothers brother" rather than bobs your uncle.
Oggin troggin = swimming
Haunted fishtank = TV
Pissed as a newt, God knows where that comes from.
As much use as a chocolate radiator.

Still RTFT but in case it hasn't been answered yet, @steppemum what is the meaning of tenterhooks?

My Yorkshire grandfather: "Steady, steady, let the dog see the rabbit" when he wanted you to pause for a moment. Most often heard when we played cards together when I was small, and we were each arranging our newly dealt hand.

I was the "daft as a brush" poster

I also like when someone's trousers are too short "has cat died" ?

Daft as a brush and also daft apeth

Getting your knickers in a twist

She waits on him hand and foot

(or in my West Country relatives' version)

She waits on him hand foot and finger

And on my mum always says - My eye and Betty Martin - meaning I don't believe you. A bit like the way we used to say Jimmy Reckon or Chinny Reckon or Jimmy Hill (which has also fallen out of use)

"Mard" was used all the time when I was little, in Manchester. Anyone crying a lot or getting upset was described as "mard" or " a right mardy-pants."

Up and down like a fiddler’s elbow.

My gran used to say “up the wooden hill to Bedfordshire” when it was time for bed when I was little.

Couldn't stop a pig in a passage (bow legged)
You'll be asleep in two shakes.of a lamb's tail (very quickly)

"It's Bedlam in here!"
"Pipe down"
"He was rough as toast"

My Gran used to say.
All fur coat and no knickers.

Falling arse over tit

Got to be up sparrows fart (get up early)

Face like a slapped cows arse

Bobs your uncle, fannys your Aunt

About as useful as a chocolate teapot

Up and down like a fiddlers elbow

These are just a few that I use on a daily basis!

Mibbies aye... mibbies naw

Kick the bucket

Air pie and windy pudding - what my grandmother used to say when we asked what was for dinner

Up and down like a pair of whore’s drawers

Bobs your uncle Fanny’s your aunt - not sure what that means

Pop your clogs - died. It does make me laugh

@Cooltalkin

My French colleague used to make me laugh with We are all in the same ship

A guy I met in Spain had a Scouse mother so some of his sayings had been translated back and forth like Chinese whispers so he ended up with "it never rains but when it does it rains a lot".

@FlamboyenceofFlamingos

Still RTFT but in case it hasn't been answered yet, *@steppemum* what is the meaning of tenterhooks?

sheep fleeces were washed and then dried. They had to be stretched while drying, and were put on a rack outside with lots of tiny hooks.

So, the fleece is stretche don tenterhooks.

But also, fleeces being stolen was a real issue, so the people washing and drying the fleeces, were on edge keeping an eye on them and watching out for thieves.
hence the meaning.

I love these.
My Granny used ot say as the weather cleared - there's enough blue sky to make a pair of sailors trousers.
Sailors trousers were hugely baggy and loose and took loads of fabric, so that much blue sky was a lot and a good thing.

absolutely love up and down like a bride's nightie

Pull the other one it’s got bells on it

In a bottle on the roof - said by my mum when asked where something is.

@woollyheart

Teaching your grandmother to suck eggs.

As children we were often threatened with a 'larruping'.

Larruped is also a term we use for being very drunk.

In for a penny in for a pound

Talk the hind legs off a donkey

I’m here all night btw

Tucked up like a kipper
Bugger my old wellies
Up and down like the lodger’s nightshirt
Being on the pig’s back = doing well/successful
Kicking the ends out the couch = having a laugh/fun
Mad as a cut snake
Robert is your auntie’s husband
Mullered = very drunk
Sparrows Fart = daybreak
Up Jack’s and round the corner = response to being asked where something is
Your face, my arse = response to “have you got a match?”