To feel so so fed up.

[Fedup25]

Posting for traffic. I literally feel so unhappy all the time and just hate my life. I've had lots of treatment for depression but I need don't particularly feel depressed at the moment, I just hate my life. I live alone, no partner, no kids. Small family that are spread over the country. One very difficult sibling who can be very nasty at times. I have a decent job with okay pay but I don't particularly enjoy it. No hobbies as nothing really interests me. I wouldn't be fussed if I didn't wake up tomorrow but I know one of my parents would be upset if I committed suicide. I just can't be bothered anymore. I hate the world that we live in, hatred and war and shady politics and inequality. I just feel so done.

You might not feel depressed but the lack of motivation and lack of interest does sound like depression.
Have you ever had any hobbies? Reading? Driving? Travelling? Anything you could slowly ease yourself back into?
I feel for you OP. I have the similar issues with nasty family members and a lack of motivation. I did recently start reading though and that helped me to a degree.

Thanks for your reply. I used to enjoy playing the piano and horse riding but I haven't done either for about ten years. I feel like I just really don't enjoy life and maybe there are some people who just don't enjoy life? I'm in my 20s and I can't stand the idea of 60ish more years of this misery.

Could you not start horse riding again? You could loan a horse that works around your work hours?
It’ll really do you some good OP, get you back into a routine and out of the house. I know someone who was similar she went and brought a horse and it’s given her a whole new lease of life and you’ll get out and meet new people. Sending you big hugs.

I would advise you to spend some money on therapy/ counselling. Find someone you like - you may have to try a few.
Believe me, I wish someone had persuaded me to do this in my 20s. I’m now in my 40s and would have had very different experiences if I’d done so.
Whatever it is that is holding you back from enjoying life can be explored - you might not even have a clue what that is right now.

If you enjoyed horse-riding, perhaps try to book yourself a hack at a reputable riding school. The connection with the animal, and the physical environment could really give you a lift.

It can be so hard to feel it's worth being bothered about anything, can't it?

Hi Fedup25,
We can see that you have posted for traffic but we really don't think that AIBU is the best place for this. As a compromise, we've moved it to Chat but you know we do have to be very careful under the circumstances.
We're posting our standard message below, but we really also do wish you the absolute best of luck in making small starts to improve things. Horse riding sounds great.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources.
You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Yeah I might but I'm really overweight and I just think the riding school people might laugh at me or not have a horse big enough to take my weight (I am 15 and a half stone) also I've not done it in so long I might be really rubbish.