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Original poster

I hate him right now

68 replies

Iwishamillion · 02/08/2020 02:15

Today my oh went out to the pub to meet friends to watch the football. I was going to a friends a few hours later to have a few drinks. My friend has been shielding so this was her first meet up.
I got home just before midnight to find OH having an argument with our ds 18 and dd 16.
It just seemed to be a ridiculous scene with oh acting very unreasonably and making an argument about nothing.
He was clearly pretty drunk and the kids were kind of bemused and also annoyed at his constant insistence they were being rude to him ( they weren’t)
They both went to sit in Ds’s room to get away from him and he barged in and started unplugging the PlayStation and grabbed my Ds’s phone. The whole time he was shouting about disrespect.
I stood in between him and the kids as there was no way he was getting near them. This made him furious and he started calling me a drunken slut, an embarrassment and an ugly cunt.
The whole time I was trying to calm him down and get him out the room. He lunged at my son so I grabbed his sleeve and tried to pull him away. This resulted in him turning and slapping me several times on the back of the head and arm.
I managed to push him out the room and got him into our bedroom. He continued to rant at me that I was the cause of this and I started it.
Just awful, after a good long while of insults I’ve convinced him to go to bed.
I’m now sitting downstairs weeping. My kids are ok, they came next gave me a hug and have gone to bed.
I’m now sitting contemplating what the hell I do next. I hate him and just tried to get him to calm down as I can’t drive due to having some wine at my friends.
All I want to do it get my children and leave. I feel like a shit mum as they shouldn’t have had to witness that, i just need to vent to anyone that’s still awake.
I’m hoping things will be less horrendous in the morning.

OP posts:
Namechange21212121 · 02/08/2020 11:23

Good for you for leaving x sending hugs x

purplecorkheart · 02/08/2020 11:25

He remembers. He would not be sheepish if he didn't.

Lipz · 02/08/2020 11:28

That's absolutely horrendous. What an awful man. Glad you're heading somewhere else to stay. There is no excuse for his behaviour.

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JingsMahBucket · 02/08/2020 13:21

@purplecorkheart

He remembers. He would not be sheepish if he didn't.
This with bells on. Don’t let him forget either. Keep that anger and let it propel you to action. Flowers
Original poster
Iwishamillion · 02/08/2020 14:00

We’re at my brothers and going to stay for a while, it’s our anniversary next weekend and had booked a night away, just the two of us. That won’t be happening, I’m taking my daughter and my son is staying with my brother.
I’ve been getting a barrage of texts from OH saying everything was fine until I came home. He was dealing with the situation and me putting myself in front of him to stop him getting to the DC’s made him see red. It’s all my fault for making him so angry and my behaviour was out of order, due to my drunkenness.
I’m feeling so blindsided by his attitude. And I’m so angry, how dare he try to make me feel like I’m in the wrong.
My brother has called him and told him to back off so I’ve not had any more calls since.

OP posts:
Babysharkdoodoodood · 02/08/2020 14:03

@Iwishamillion

We’re at my brothers and going to stay for a while, it’s our anniversary next weekend and had booked a night away, just the two of us. That won’t be happening, I’m taking my daughter and my son is staying with my brother. I’ve been getting a barrage of texts from OH saying everything was fine until I came home. He was dealing with the situation and me putting myself in front of him to stop him getting to the DC’s made him see red. It’s all my fault for making him so angry and my behaviour was out of order, due to my drunkenness. I’m feeling so blindsided by his attitude. And I’m so angry, how dare he try to make me feel like I’m in the wrong. My brother has called him and told him to back off so I’ve not had any more calls since.
So it was a lie that he couldn't remember. You also have him admitting by text what he did if you need to call the police now.
Soubriquet · 02/08/2020 14:04

He doesn’t remember anything ey?

There he just admitted he did remember

I’m glad you’re getting away OP

Pollypocket89 · 02/08/2020 14:05

Please call the police on this pos. For your children's sake and your own x

Shizzlestix · 02/08/2020 14:05

But he doesn’t remember anything, but suddenly does when he sees how serious you are? Wanker. He’s doing the typical gaslighting, projecting thing, it was you, not him. Utter rubbish. Don’t let him twist this-he HIT you, multiple times.

Original poster
Iwishamillion · 02/08/2020 14:07

I’m gutted that the last 24 years I’ve spent with someone capable of this. I didn’t recognise this person last night, it was terrifying and I feel so shaky thinking about it.
Yes all a load of crap he couldn’t remember, I’m still struggling to process what happened, it feels like a terrible nightmare.

OP posts:
K1999 · 02/08/2020 14:17

Is your relationship usually good? Has this happened before?

Original poster
Iwishamillion · 02/08/2020 14:20

I thought we had a great relationship, the odd argument here and there but never ever the violence or verbal insults. We usually apologised once we’d calmed down and talked it through. Certainly never been this out of control person I saw last night. My overwhelming instinct was not to let him anywhere near my children. It was terrifying.

OP posts:
terracottapot · 02/08/2020 14:21

Oh, so he 'remembers' it all now does he? And what he remembers is that you are to blame and it's your fault that he got angry and hit you?

Fuck that. Call the police on the bastard and get him thrown out of the house. Then you and the dc can go back home and be safe.

CrazyToast · 02/08/2020 14:25

Really well done for leaving and refusing to accept this. I hope things go ok .

Shmithecat2 · 02/08/2020 14:26

@terracottapot
Fuck that. Call the police on the bastard and get him thrown out of the house. Then you and the dc can go back home and be safe.

This. Nothing else to be said really.

Holothane · 02/08/2020 14:29

The amount of times booze is blamed for this sort of behaviour is shock9ng, do as others say, call the police you have evidence on your phone now 💐💐💐💐💐💐💐

Soubriquet · 02/08/2020 14:34

So first he denies it, then he blames you.

Perfect gentleman isn’t he

chatterbugmegastar · 02/08/2020 14:50

That's such a shocking post OP. I think I'd have to log an incident with the police. It would be useful going forwards should you decide to divorce and it's a line in the sand. THIS is when it started, IYSWIM

JamieLeeCurtains · 02/08/2020 14:50

I know you're not ok, and it must be such a huge shock. How are your DC? They (and you) need to able to express their shock, anger and sadness. Flowers

Sparklfairy · 02/08/2020 14:57

Yes. It's funny how they decide which "facts" are to be "remembered"

Original poster
Iwishamillion · 02/08/2020 15:09

None of us are ok, thanks for asking. My dc’s never want to see him again and say they’ll never forgive him for what he did to me. It’s all just horrible and raw at the moment. Life as we knew it will never be the same and I have no idea where to start.

OP posts:
theprincessmittens · 02/08/2020 15:16

You start by calling the Police and reporting his assault on you. You have two witnesses, one an adult. You also have his texts confirming the assault. They will arrest him, remove him from the property, and also advise you on how to obtain a non-molestation order which will keep him from coming near you and your children. I would also advise changing the locks - even if you jointly own the house, he would have to take you to court to regain access, and after what he's done I doubt he would have the guts to do that.

SlowDown76mph · 02/08/2020 15:19

You must show your children, young adults, what the right reaction is to this. Report to the police. By looking after yourself, you look after them.

notapizzaeater · 02/08/2020 15:20

You need to set an example to your kids. I'd log it all with the police, why should he get away with this.

Iamtooknackeredtorun · 02/08/2020 15:21

I would urge you to please log this with the police even if you're not willing to support a prosecution for assault. It does matter and makes a difference should anything ever happen again.

It's good that the children aren't defending his behaviour out of misplaced loyalty or pressuring you to keep the family together.

For me this incident would be a deal breaker.