We are both likely to lose our jobs

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H has been told he will be made redundant in October. I am very likely to lose my job too. We are in our fifties, in industries that are unlikely to recover for a very long time, if at all.

We are also separating, and both need to take on new mortgages.
I can't sleep for worrying and have lost all confidence at work. I feel on the verge of tears all the time. What an absolute mess.

I am so very sorry you're going through such a rough time.

That sucks. Would you prefer or or or all three? I have no advice, but it sucks.

Thats rubbish - things have ways of working themselves out. Wishing you strength

do you have to separate, or at this time.
it is cheaper share living quarters.
could you have separate rooms and share kitchen etc like flat mates.
do you have minor children.
frankly i doubt you will be able to get a mortgage without a job, esp at your age. sorry. but you've got to be realistic.
read all the money advice websites. the ones that give free advice.

Utterly shit.

What's the industry? Any transferable skills?

Ok so,what transferable skills do you have? Just because you might lose this job, it doesn’t mean it’s the end of your working life - you have options

Thank you everyone. I'm so tired because I'm not sleeping and I feel like crying all the time. I've got a big day at work tomorrow and I just really feel that I can't cope.

I hope I would get another job and H could certainly earn some money related to a hobby of his, but not enough really for him to live on.

H is quite passive, one of the reasons we are separating. He thinks he will at some point get a job like the one he has now. I don't think that's at all realistic. He's in the arts but would definitely have transferable skills if he thought them through.

I've got lots of skills but am not very specialised - good at writing, good at organising but have missed out in recent jobs because I'm just not ever the best fit. That said I think/hope I would get something at some point if I'm not too fussy, which I wouldn't be

If you are sure you are going to lose your job, try and sign up for Universal Credit now. Their waiting list is going to get longer and longer, even if you don't get anything now, best to be on the system

Will your employer offer job coaching/career counselling as part of redundancy? Max that right out.
Start rewriting your cv now. You need different ones for different jobs. I basically looked at every employer in my field that I could commute to. I then applied for a job at each below what I was on. Adjusted my cv to emphasise that I was hands on, adaptable, good at building relationships/getting tangibls results. Downplayed my qualifications but left them on there. I had 2 offers before lockdown. One I took, the other was in the travel industry!
I expect to be able to progress in the one I took. I am 52, so it can be done.

The other thing I did was never applying for a job online. I always did some research and found the name of the person recruiting. If it was an agency I called them first and said that I had seen it online but wanted to discuss it first to see if there was a fit and to fine my cv if necessary. I found that was a game changer for me.

And finally........ up your LinkedIn profile.

Ugh, do NOT listen to charleyhorses advise about calling in directly! You're just going to annoy whoever is hiring. Go to ask a manager for good advise on how to get hired by the people who actually do it. It really does help.

Good luck!

And please remember that if you are separating, your ex partner is not your responsibility. It is very hard to walk away from this mindset, especially if you have been "saving" someone from themselves for so long, it is a default position for you. But now you (and any dependents) are your only responsibility.

Constant worrying, feeling like crying, loss of confidence. All perfectly normal stress reactions to an extremely stressful period of change, uncertainty and upheaval. If needed, see your Gp, though drugs can have a flattening effect they can get you through the worst bit. Some people like them, some don't. Your cognition and thinking processes have probably been hit too, making clear decision making harder too. Be kind to yourself, nurture and soothe yourself with self care - see friends, eat healthy, keep up exercise, and find those essential hopeful thoughts to keep you going. It will get better and you will find a way. If you are in the shit, keep swimming. You got this. Xx

Shit, that's really hard for you both. To second what Starface has said, it can be very helpful to use some anti anxiety type meds to clear a mental path through this. I hope there are better times ahead.

I'm unsure of your housing situation at present but if you are mainly separating due to jobs impacting on your relationship, or children, but would it not be better to maybe think about moving somewhere else if you have equity, it might mean a whole new start and lifestyle but easier than two mortgages...

I know it may not be your line of work but I hear that delivery drivers and supermarkets are always seeking staff. Boom industries at the moment.

The pay may not be great but better than nothing .....?

How much are you likely to get from the house sale? If you lower your expectations would it be possible to buy something outright and not have to get another mortgage?

Sorry this is happening. This pandemic has caused so much stress.

I'm so sorry. This is truly awful but worrying is normal in this situation if that helps.

Update your cv now.
Update your linked in
Get in contact with people in industry that may help
Your workplace will put you on a programme that will help you with all this and they really are great at what they do.

Will you get a redundancy payout?

You can take a break from the industry you're in. Any job will be good in the time being.

I am also going through this and it is truly terrifying. I also can't sleep and eat. I cry all the time. This will be what drives us to get another job and quickly.

@Charleyhorses Jobs in my field nearly always have a contact you can ring to find out more and I don't usually do that. I will from now on though

@SepticTankYank and others going through this, I'm sorry you're in the same boat. I hadn't expected it to affect me so badly

I've no practical advice to add OP, some excellent suggestions here, but I just wanted to send you my good wishes. Sorry you're facing this and I hope it's not long before you find something.

No it's shocking how it makes you feel isn't it.

Work is such an integral part of our life. It pays for the rest of it.

My workplace are making it clear this is personal as well and I am having to train other people to complete my role as it definitely isn't redundant.

Just remember in most places it has nothing to do with you or your skills. It has nothing to do with your self worth as a person and there is no reason why a new role won't come up tomorrow.

I will have to take a big pay cut and move sectors as roles in my area of this sector are very niche and normally go to people who know people. I just want to leave ASAP and give them a big fuck you.

You will be fine. It will be shit for a while but you will be fine.

It's horrible as I can feel my performance plummeting. I keep reminding myself it's because I'm so stressed I can't think straight. Literally the words hardly leave my mouth in the right order.

It will be months before anything happens, which I suppose is good as gives me the chance to find something before I'm out of time

There are a lot of people who are going to lose their jobs and don’t know it yet.
You have the advantage of knowing well in advance and having that time to be pro-active.
Allow yourself to wallow for a while, then pull your big girl pants on and go on the attack.
Good luck with your new life 💐