We are both likely to lose our jobs

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H has been told he will be made redundant in October. I am very likely to lose my job too. We are in our fifties, in industries that are unlikely to recover for a very long time, if at all.

We are also separating, and both need to take on new mortgages.
I can't sleep for worrying and have lost all confidence at work. I feel on the verge of tears all the time. What an absolute mess.

As others have said, job hunt now. Try to calm down (easier said than done) and get some perspective. Focus all your energy on finding a job for you.

Do not try to find your H a job or worry about him too much. That is for him to do.

Sorry you are going through such a difficult time. Would it be preferable to both stay in the current home until, at least, you have greater clarity on what is going to happen re jobs? You don't know for certain that your employment will come to an end.
There are various options for the future, such as moving to another area, as suggested, also taking a lodger, but these need time to think through. Or one of you may wish to take a well-paid accommodation-providing position overseas, for a limited period. But having to decide now where to live and which home to buy seems to add too much pressure to the mix.

I'm so stressed I can't think straight. Literally the words hardly leave my mouth in the right order.

Yes, stress is bloody awful. When I'm really stressed, I can barely form a sentence and I always start panicking why...then I remember.

This is clearly a rubbish time OP, but on the up side, at least you do have some time to prepare. Would you consider temporarily taking some medication for your lack of sleep? Your productivity won't exist at all if you can't get some sleep. As I say, only temporarily, just to get you through.

Do you have much support from friends and family? Do they know that you and your husband are separating?

Sending you lots of strength

Be kind to yourself. Most important thing is you find a way to manage this stressful situation, whatever happens.

I say this because a stressful situation completely derailed me and looking back i put all of my efforts into the wrong things. I was in no place to be taking on bigger projects at work etc.

I wish I had taken more time to breath properly (I am obsessed with breathing!), I wish I'd found a way to switch off and not felt guilty about it. You will get through it but mental health comes first.

I was made redundant last year at 60. I won't minimise how hard it was to get another job, but what I did after 4 months, was take a temporary job with a major employer near me. It was well below what I had been doing. When my contract ended they took me on permanently. Out of the six of us who started together three were offered permanent contracts and one of the others was in his fifties. It's not my dream job by a long shot but it pays the bills and so I'm grateful.

You are all so amazing. I am overstretched. I do a big voluntary role in my spare time and also have an extra, pastoral role at work. I think both make me more employable but it feels too much at the moment.

I am currently in the park with a coffee looking at the flowers before the day starts

@crowsfeet57 yes, pragmatism will be the name of the game

@CoffeeandPastries I am a big fan of breathing too and not at all averse time the idea of medication

Sorry @Marleymoo42 you were the person who suggested breathing!

I'm sorry you're going through so much right now.

As others have said, if you're separating from H you need to learn to stop thinking (&doing/rescuing) for him, it's time for him to think for himself. Of course you can still be kind to each other & work towards mutual benefit with houses etc, but leave him to his deluded thinking about jobs etc. He's in his 50's - time to sort himself out.

Take some time to think about what YOU want going forward. What sort of house would suit you, where would you like to live (consider moving to another area all together), etc etc. Is there another job you could see yourself doing?

Spend some time relaxing/daydreaming/thinking - then make some practical plans/do some research.

It's very difficult while you're in the middle of it all, but it will work out.

In the meantime, give yourself a good talking to and do your job to the best of your ability (you may not even be made redundant, who knows what's going to happen in the next few months!!), but if you are, you can leave with your head held high and get a good reference/verbal refs!

...and try not to take it personally!

Maybe it's time to take a step down/back from the voluntary role? Or the additional pastoral role at work? Just to give yourself a bit of headspace?

Or could you find a paid role like your voluntary role?

I was made redundant recently and am possibly a little older than you. It’s very daunting. I was lucky enough to have been provided with professional outplacement services so I can share some of the advice I have received. Networking is key. You need to really work and expand your network. Don’t be shy about asking people in your network to help. Get your LinkedIn profile up to date and polished within an inch of its life. Get your basic CV up to scratch, and then be prepared to tailor for each and every role. Your CV needs to get past the applicant tracking system, so make sure the format is simple and all of the necessary keywords are included. What a PP said about finding a contact and calling is right, if you can’t find a name see if your network can help. Make yourself a marketing plan, get your personal statement and elevator pitch word perfect and identify your target employers; look for possible introductions. Find yourself a few really good recruiters to work with, recommendations are useful here. LinkedIn has some pretty good resources at the moment like free career coaching webinars.

Also, as soon as I was made aware of the possibility by my lovely manager a few months back, I started saving like mad. Lockdown helped obviously. It's got me about a month and a half salary so that will help me be less stressed. The whole process takes time too and they may give you a long notice period.

Divorce and losing your job are two of the biggest stresses in life, no wonder you feel so low and anxious.
It is no wonder you feel overwhelmed.
As for separating at this stage could you not continue living together until you both find new jobs if things are hopefully amicable?
As I am sure you are aware it will be difficult to get a mortgage in your 50's and impossible if you do not have a permanent job.
I imagine the last thing you feel like doing at the moment is searching for jobs, applying and attending interviews, but what is the alternative...
I usually see lots of admin jobs within the NHS, would this possibly suit? There also seems to be a lot of care jobs advertised, but that is not for everyone. Good luck.

I wanted to say thank you to everyone who posted. It really made a huge difference to me.

I've been making sure I've been going for walks and have been using the headspace app, which has really helped.

I'm also applying for a job at the moment, just to get my head in the game. It's quite satisfying to look at what I've done even if this one doesn't work out.

Thanks again

That sounds good. Really feel for you going through all of this. We all need to remember that it will be ok!