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Original poster

Argument with DP over dog

37 replies

southernq1 · 26/07/2020 12:20

Just had a big argument with DP as he keeps bringing MIL's dog over. I don't have my own dog and have no interest in having one. I like to keep my house clean and tidy and just don't understand why he feels the need to bring the dog here. If he wants to see the dog he can go to his mothers.

Every Sunday I do a deep clean of the house and he knows this and helps with this too. So I don't understand the logic in bringing the dog round especially today. I've been putting in a lot of effort to get the grass to grow in the back and spend hours seeding etc. Dog comes and shits straight on it.

It's turned into a big argument since he's doing this most weekends and he's went off to take the dog back. He'll probably be out ages. Not sure if I'm being ott so wondering peoples thoughts on this.

It's happening regularly and the dog has been over to stay a few times even whilst we've been decorating/painting so I'm just getting pissed off and can't see why he won't just go over there to see the dog if he's that desperate. I don't have my own dog and I don't want other people's in my house.

OP posts:
DomDoesWotHeWants · 26/07/2020 12:22

He's being very unfair, OP, if it upsets you.
No dogs allowed in our house, DH and I agree on that.

Original poster
southernq1 · 26/07/2020 12:38

He just doesn't get it and thinks I'm just being nasty. I just really don't see the need for it

OP posts:
JenandFlo · 26/07/2020 12:39

I think you are being quite controlling.

Can’t you just keep the dog in one room and agree he cleans after (if indeed a dog visiting for a couple of hours makes any mess).

As for the garden, if the poo is picked up straight away it shouldn’t harm the grass?

It’s his house too!

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MsEllany · 26/07/2020 13:04

I don’t think it’s in any way controlling to say ‘no dog’ in the house. If someone brought a dog to my house they would stay outside with it. I don’t want animals in my house, and neither does OP. Especially on the day designated to clean!

Appuskidu · 26/07/2020 13:05

Why is he going to get the dog and bringing it to yours?! That is a bit odd. Is it like a play date?

Delbelleber · 26/07/2020 13:07

I think you should tell him to take the dog a walk if he wants to spend time with the dog. That is most dogs favourite activity after all!

Floralnomad · 26/07/2020 13:08

It’s not controlling at all , you don’t have a dog , you don’t want a dog so why should you have a dog visit . I have a dog I don’t take him to other peoples houses unless he’s been specifically invited .

MacduffsMuff · 26/07/2020 13:10

In assuming you don't live together and the house is just yours as you say 'my' house so I would say it's perfectly reasonable to tell him that when he comes over he doesn't during the dog with him.

In fact even if he did co-own the house with you, he shouldn't being it over if he knows you don't want the dog there. He can take the dog for a walk surely then take it back or his mum's surely?

MacduffsMuff · 26/07/2020 13:13

I like to keep my house clean and tidy

You can still do this and have a dog - but this has nothing to do with your issue, I'm only mentioning it because there's a suggestion there that people who have dogs can't live in a clean an tidy home, which obviously not the case. Anyway, I digress.

Jinglebellissimo · 26/07/2020 13:14

I’m assuming you don’t live together? Is it that he’s dog-sitting and then bringing the dog over while doing so, or going out of his way to get the dog and bring him to you?

sophiestew · 26/07/2020 13:15

Very odd behaviour. I absolutely love dogs, but if you don't want dogs in your house then why can't he just visit the dog at MILS/take it for walks?

Do you think he harboured thoughts that you would come to love MILS dog and agree to have your own?

Purplecatshopaholic · 26/07/2020 13:23

For me it depends if you live together or not. If it is indeed your house, ie he does not live with you, then fair enough - say no to the dog visits if you feel you must. I would see your views as OTT but it’s your house and you are entitled to your views. If you live together then I would suggest a compromise be reached - just how dirty can your house get that you need to deep clean weekly for example?

Crinkle77 · 26/07/2020 13:28

If it your house then he is BU however it a joint home then YABU. Does he not get any day in his own home?

Original poster
southernq1 · 26/07/2020 13:39

We own the house together. He went to see his mum this morning and came back with the dog, that's what usually happens. Didn't even mention it. It's not even like his mum was going out for the day and the dog would be left. I just don't understand why he needs to bring the dog here, rather than going to see it there.

In regards to does he get a say, that question could be asked to both of us. I've asked him not to bring the dog around and it seems to go in one ear out the other.

OP posts:
callmeadoctor · 26/07/2020 13:40

What an odd thing to do, Id be seriously wondering if the dog were about to move in with you..........................

Jinglebellissimo · 26/07/2020 13:44

He likes having the dog around. What’s going to happen when his mum asks him to dog sit? Are you going to say no?

BarbedBloom · 26/07/2020 14:20

As it is also his home, YABU

user1493413286 · 26/07/2020 14:23

I’m with you; I don’t like dogs and I do not want dogs in my house so I’d be annoyed if DH did that especially as I don’t really see why he’s doing it.

Floralnomad · 26/07/2020 14:24

I think the fact that it is a joint house does change things somewhat from your OP I assumed it was your house .

longtompot · 26/07/2020 14:42

It sounds like your dp wants a dog and is trying to get you to fall for his mums dog.
A dog poo won't damage your lawn, but the wee will burn it.
Why not ask him why he keeps bringing it over? There must be a reason for it.

Moondust001 · 26/07/2020 14:51

It appears that two people live in and own this house. So how is it that you get to make the rules? Your partner had some rights in his own home too. And I cannot see how the dog being there makes it dirty. You sound rather obsessive about cleanliness - you deep clean the house every single week? But yes, it's unreasonable to expect that you get your own way on this all the time. Stuff gets dirty, it needs cleaning. With or without a dog.

Sounds to me like he desperately wants a dog...

MacduffsMuff · 26/07/2020 15:12

In regards to does he get a say, that question could be asked to both of us. I've asked him not to bring the dog around and it seems to go in one ear out the other.

No compromise though @southernq1 ? What you want trumps what he wants. He can't have the dog in the garden either because of 'your' grass seed, which really doesn't require a lot of effort I've been doing mine also (grass seed and watering, not on my hands and knees planting every seed). So, even though it's his house too (presumably he pays part of the mortgage and bills?), he can't even have the dog in his garden. Sorry, your garden. Gotcha ...

RunningFromInsanity · 26/07/2020 15:18

YABU it’s both your house. You need to come up with a compromise.

If you do the deep clean every Sunday can he have the dog on Saturday so before you clean?

Or once the dog goes back he has to run round with the hoover?
That what I do at my parents after my dog has visited.

A dog poo will not hurt your lawn btw.

nicky7654 · 26/07/2020 15:25

I think your partner is desperate for a dog. He may be trying to get you to become fond of the dog and change your mind. I have two dogs and a clean home and nice garden so it is possible. Only difference is I adore dogs and will never be without one.

Xebedee · 26/07/2020 15:28

I think you need to relax. Your OP comes across as a bit neurotic and controlling in my opinion.

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