Argument with DP over dog

[southernq1]

Just had a big argument with DP as he keeps bringing MIL's dog over. I don't have my own dog and have no interest in having one. I like to keep my house clean and tidy and just don't understand why he feels the need to bring the dog here. If he wants to see the dog he can go to his mothers.

Every Sunday I do a deep clean of the house and he knows this and helps with this too. So I don't understand the logic in bringing the dog round especially today. I've been putting in a lot of effort to get the grass to grow in the back and spend hours seeding etc. Dog comes and shits straight on it.

It's turned into a big argument since he's doing this most weekends and he's went off to take the dog back. He'll probably be out ages. Not sure if I'm being ott so wondering peoples thoughts on this.

It's happening regularly and the dog has been over to stay a few times even whilst we've been decorating/painting so I'm just getting pissed off and can't see why he won't just go over there to see the dog if he's that desperate. I don't have my own dog and I don't want other people's in my house.

He’s an idiot. He thinks if he keeps forcing you to spend time with the dog you’ll suddenly become a dog lover.

I think you have to give him an ultimatum (You or the dog) because he’s not accepting that you don’t want a dog in your house.

Would he be happy if you insisted on bringing another bloke home once a week to sit in the garden?

My DH worked on me and DS as he wanted a dog. I’m a cat person. We now have had a dog for 2 years. The amount of dog hair he sheds is unreal compared to cat fur.

I tolerate the dog but I’m still a cat person. I won’t agree to another dog when this one has gone.

It's not that he wants us to get a dog, he works away during the week and I also work full time. I've told him before I've no interest in getting a dog and he doesn't disagree or say otherwise. I don't hate dogs, I grew up with a lhasa who I absolutely adored, but I just don't want the responsibility or hassle of having one and I don't want to be lumbered with other people's.

@RandyLionandDirtyDog

Would he be happy if you insisted on bringing another bloke home once a week to sit in the garden?

How on earth is this in any way remotely a similar scenario?

And it's his house too, not just the OP's.

@southernq1 when you say 'lumbered' what do you mean? Is he wanting the dog there for the weekend? Or for a couple of hours on a Sunday?

I'd be mad. No dogs in our house. We had one and never again.

Has your DO said why he does this? Have you asked him?

I have a dog. I love him. But I get people not wanting a dog in their house. He is messy. But clearly your DP likes the dog in the house for some reason. You need to figure out his reasoning behind bringing the dog home. It is his home too.

@MacduffsMuff

Other posters and you seem to be suggesting the OP should try to compromise because it’s their shared home.

The ‘bringing back a bloke‘ scenario is to illustrate that it’s not a situation that can easily be resolved by compromise.

If you don’t want a dog in your home at all, having the dog/bloke there for a few hours, once a week isn’t remotely a compromise. It’s saying to the person who doesn’t want the dog in their home, “fuck you, I’m doing it anyway”.

@RandyLionandDirtyDog

Or, conversely, it's saying to the other person 'I don't care if this is your house too, fuck you, I make the rules, you'll do what I tell you'.

There absolutely is compromise to be had.

Yuk. No dogs in my house and we both agree that it's more cleaner and nicer that way. People are welcome, they can leave their digs at home. End of.

Or even dogs

YANBU. I would not allow an animal in my clean, tidy, fresh-smelling home either.

YANBU. I really love dogs in theory but I don't want them in my house. Having a dog over to hang out is a bit strange, I would never ask my DM if her Dcat, who I love can come for a sleepover . I really don't think you can compromise on this either - one of you will have to cave. What if you were allergic?