Worried about DD's rituals

[Jourdain11]

I feel a bit bad for posting here, as it seems unfair on DD, but I am worried that I am overreacting and making an issue out of a non-issue.

DD8 lately seems to have developed all these little "rituals" - touching things, going to the toilet multiple times in a row, making little lists. I work in MH (albeit in another area and not with children) and I feel like, over the last few weeks, it's become quite disruptive to her life. A few days ago, she got quite upset and agitated at DH rushing her out of the house because (I think) she hadn't done her things. She also generally seems quite anxious and I've tried to get her talking about it, but she obviously isn't keen.

I don't want to make the mistake of labelling her behaviour as something when it isn't, nor do I want to make her self-conscious, but I feel she's showing OCD tendencies and I am really concerned not to let things get out of control. If she needs help, I want her to get it in a timely way so that this won't take over for her.

DH thinks we should let it be, because it might just "fade away", but my feeling is that it is escalating.

On the other hand, I know it is normal for kids to have some ritualised behaviour, and I am worried about overreacting... which is why I'm posting here, I guess for a neutral and non-involved opinion! Although I appreciate it is difficult when you haven't seen / don't know DD.

As a family, we've had quite a lot of changes and stress recently (who hasn't?) so I guess I am concerned about how this may have affected her.

Thx in advance.

Thanks for this, the ibuprofen definitely sounds worth a try!

(Although I'm at the point where if someone suggested I take her to the Wise Woman, I'd probably also feel that was worth a try!)

Hi op I have two children who have/had OCD.
The meltdowns and self harm are really familiar, terrifying to watch and absolutely exhausting, but at least she's letting you see how she feels even if she can't express it in words.
One of my children is now an adult and only struggles with one very specific thing, which is actually quite useful! The other is an older teen and largely in control of it but it does flare up.
We found the OCD charity really useful.
You've had some great advice on this thread, the only thing I'd add is not to get too caught up in the idea of 'fixing' things for your daughter, unfortunately this is likely to be a very long haul and you'll burn out if you try to make it right.

An update: I took her to the GP today and the GP (who was fab and very thorough and clued-up) thinks it is PANS/PANDAS. She has referred her now to neurology as well as CAMHS and started on antibiotics; apparently it is likely that she gets seen at neurology much quicker than CAMHS as the waiting list is much smaller.

That sounds very promising - glad the GP was switched on. I hope you can use some of the CBT techniques from the books with her in the meantime, and hope that the referrals don't take too long to come through.

Yeah, we have been trying to use some of the books' strategies and the GP had some good ideas too, which I think DD was quite on board with... I think that she trusts the doctor more than me!

I'd never heard of this condition, what a spot from people.
Keep calm, accept this is her for now. Maybe ask her if there's one of her routines that's annoying her that maybe you could take over worrying about for her.
Remember this all makes sense for her.

Nor had I ever heard of it!

The GP had some good strategy suggestions too. Like she suggested that when DD thinks about going to the toilet, she should try to finish what she is doing first (and even if it's just waiting an extra 10 seconds it all becomes helpful). Or looking at a picture and trying to make up a story about it when she starts feeling anxious. We'll see how that goes!

We're any of the books helpful

Oh yes, they were! (Sorry, I meant to say that and I think I deleted part of my message... tired and hot!) And we did try some things and I felt it was helping, but as things sort of escalated it was harder to make a breakthrough with it.

Start slow and with one thing I think and don't expect immediate results