If you are loving your life, tell me why you feel this way

[Snog]

Looking for some life wisdom here....
If you are loving your life, what do you attribute this to?

DH has just been diagnosed with cancer, we're waiting to hear what the treatment will be. Today I've been for a long bike ride and lunch with my girlfriends with two hours gossiping in the pub garden and had a nice dinner in the garden at home with DH. Life's not so bad.

Interesting one: much to feel profoundly grateful for: kind partner, savings, work I love (though I earn bobbins) friends and interests, and much more besides. But like Blackpool written through a stick of rock, some deep sadness from the past, about not ever fitting in when younger, especially about having been badly bullied as a child then again as an adult (a lot of it from men and about how I looked). I’ve always been considered plain and ‘motherly’ and definitely not as a sexually attractive person. DH thinks I’m fine but he’s used to me. It’s such a superficial gripe in life, I know that, but those internalised ideas about myself don’t get easier, especially as they led (and still lead) to accepting anything from anyone and assuming that’s how it should be.

Being happy with what I have

The only time I start feeling down is when I start aspiring to something unattainable

(Like going for a pub lunch during lock down)

But right now, I have the two gorgeous babies I wished for most, a lovely husband, a cute but small house and good friends and family.
Son is currently going through worrying tests at the hospital so that’s put a downer on things a bit and he’s visibly struggling with it (he’s only 3) so hoping we get past that soon

It’s all about family, good health and not struggling day by day financially that is key.
When al 3 align it couldn’t be better

I have everything I ever wanted and more. Children. Space. A new job. Friends. I can't believe my luck, and I just want to stop time. My children are little and perfect. I feel independent and free. I chose my lifestyle. I think freedom is so important.

I have a wonderful supportive husband and a gorgeous baby boy his twin brother was stillborn so it has been hard but I feel like it's really made me appreciate every second with his brother !
We are healthy I've made some new friends and have some great older ones
I had an awful childhood and dreamed of a normal life with a normal little family might not look like we have much to the outside but we feel like we've made it

I live with my husband and two children. Recently I wrote a list of all the things we have CHOSEN to do which I am hugely grateful for.
We both work part time,
We have a reasonable house (no spare rooms-bed utility etc).

We budget down to the penny but that means I don’t worry about spending up to the penny
We have an old campervan and camp about 10 times a year
We only holiday an hour or two from home so we have the maximum holiday and minimum travel

From the other side:
We both have conditions which mean we need to take drugs for life
We run old cars
Our house needs redecorating in a big way, parts of it are embarrassing
I buy a lot of second hand
We penny pinch to afford things

For me it’s about which way you look at things.

@HouchinBawbags your post made me cry! What a lovely family you are. Wonderful how things always fall into place too.

Bumping this thread as it's so heartwarming 😌

I have been through so much and come so far in my life. I have had some really tough times and come out the other side stronger and better. I now have an amazing husband, a great job and a wonderful home and family. it's not all perfect but i am certainly happy

'Honestly... not having children. It was something we put a lot of thought into, but ultimately decided against'

Same here. A lot of thought, a lot of agonising, literally years of it, but we decided against. I still have some complex feelings about not having children, but the things I value in life would be so much harder to have if we were parents

I don't love every second of my life but I feel PROFOUNDLY lucky and grateful. I have a great partner and a great relationship that we work hard at, a lovely home, enough money for pretty much anything we fancy, both got our health, time and energy to exercise, time and money to be able to eat really well, peace and quiet. Time and money above all I would say. And the feeling that I'm living a life that's right for me, not a life that was dictated by someone else - that's just priceless

I think some of it comes from inner peace.

Sounds cheesy but I'm happy just to be alive.

Yes, I have a job I adore, great friends and family, live in a great area in a great house (nothing flash just great to me) and don't have any immediate financial problems. However, I'm disabled and one of my best friends just died.
My glass is always 95% full.

Good health and plenty of money. Early retirement at fifty five in a few years is very likely too.
I had lost both my parents by my early forties in tragic circumstances, so kind of hoping I!ve had my run of bad luck.

We have a foster child who came to us at 6 with so much baggage and had been moved 8 times in previous year. He trusted no no one and never smiled. He hit other kids and adults to. He would not speak hardly at all. He has now been with us for 8 years. He is our superstar cricket player. He made his adult debut 2 weeks ago. On debut against adult team he got 5 wickets for only 21 runs off 6 overs. The following game 2 wickets for 17 runs off 6 overs and he scored 14 runs. We are so incredibly proud of him. When we watch him play and interact with his team our hearts swell with love and pride. When the sun is shining and we sit with a nice picnic with a glass of wine and he is playing cricket, I think foster caring is the best job in the world.

I remember in my early 30s reading on Mumsnet
'In your 20s you walk into a room worrying if people will like you, in your 30s you walk into a room worrying if you'll like them, in your 40s you walk into a room with no shits given and if it's not a good room, you'll walk out and find another'
This was very true for me. I'm now 40 and have a confidence that I built up in my 30s. I'm financially secure (not rich) love my career more than ever before, love my family and choose my friends wisely. I've never been so content and think back to those anxious younger years and my only wish is that I could have had the confidence and contentment I have now back then.

Because I mostly have balance.

I treat myself well and have found inner confidence.

I prioritise activities that will nurture me personally rather than make it look to others that I have my act together.
So I do daily yoga, take time to walk in the forest, even though my car needs cleaning or my home needs dusting.

I don't have a boss or a commute.
I have learned that life is a mixture of rocks in the road and flowers .
I try not to be upset by bad stuff that happens but focus on the good things.

I love life at the moment but don’t always. So I enjoy it when I do. I’ve had a hard couple of years with the kids. Disability, illnesses and the like. But currently everyone is healthy. It’s a big deal to be healthy. Husband has a secure job which is a blessing at the moment. Kids are currently downstairs playing with him and giggling til they almost can’t breathe. It’s such a fortunate place to be

I'm very happy with my life. I too think it's down to luck.
I own my own house but now selling to buy a really lovely property with dp.
Dp is a really really lovely guy that everyone loves.
My ds has always been very very well behaved and very clever so I feel I've had an easy job of parenting.
I've got a good job with lots of prospects plus I work part time and still earn decent money. I'm also studying a professional qualification that my employers are paying for.
I have time for exercise so I'm fit and strong at the moment.
I have time for my friends.
All my friends and family are healthy, I've never known anyone that's died.

Like I said all of this is luck, I don't think I've done anything different to anyone else.

'Because I mostly have balance.'

God yes. One of the most important things in life

Appreciate and be happy with what you have.
Yeah there are people that are way better off financially, it doesn't bring you true happiness tho.

"I notice a lot of replies combine a baseline of comfort and security with a feeling of being lucky or grateful for it."

I think you're right. Dh and I are financially secure but not mega wealthy. We're happy with what we have (materially) and don't strive for more as we don't believe it will make us happier than we are.

We're happy despite dh's illness and some pretty rough life knocks thrown in too. But the rough bits make us really appreciate the simple freedoms of domestic family life - going for a nice walk, paddling in a river, cold pint in a nice beer garden etc

Dh and I being fundamentally compatible and enjoying each other's company is the big key to our happiness though.

Luck, acceptance, and gratitude. I had very poor mental health when I was younger and was hospitalized a few times because of it. I'm immensely grateful not to be in that place anymore. I'm grateful for everything I have: health, family, friends, a job, a home, mountains at my doorstep, food growing in my garden... not everyone gets to have all that and I'm lucky and grateful that at this moment in time I do.

I've also learned from bad decisions I've made, and don't repeat my mistakes. It's taken a long time to learn how to do that but it's an important lesson to learn.

Gratitude. I count my blessings every single day, before I go to bed. When you make a daily practice of noting all the things in your life you are grateful for, it starts to change how you look at things.

I know we have big stresses to contend with at the moment, coronavirus, kids missing school, creeping fascism, economy, money and job loss worries etc, but a lot of the little stresses are gone. The morning rush, what to wear, even the laundry is easier when I'm here to hang it out.

But the bottom line is we're alive, we're well, we're together, we laugh every day and I'm happy and grateful for that.

Reading with interest. I'm 41 and I've always been unhappy. I used to believe things would get better but now I've reached a point of despair. 40ish years to go!

Sorry for being so negative on a lovely positive thread.