Can any maladaptive daydreamers help or empathise or just talk to me?

[fuckinghellapeacock]

I have been a maladaptive daydreamer since I was a toddler. I have it under control and find it therapeutic and helpful, very soothing, helps me get to sleep. I have no intention of stopping and don't want to, that's not what this is about.

Amongst the many things the fucking corona virus has ruined, is my best story to get to sleep to! It can't work with social distancing etc. It is also incredibly ludicrous so why can't I just carry on as always - why is the fucking corona virus interfering? I find it much harder to get to sleep.

I am hoping to find someone else who has experienced similar so I feel less mad. Thanks for reading

Sorry this has really made me smile! I’ve not had this happen though I do do the maladaptive daydreaming thing. Hopefully someone will be able to help

You aren't mad but it's not something widespread on MN. Try r/maladaptivedreaming on Reddit. You'll get lots of support and help there.

What is this maladaptive daydreaming you speak of? I think I do it too, but never called it that

I do this but I'd didn't know it was called that.

@RainbowCookie its very intense, elaborate daydreams. I have a favourite half dozen that I check in whenever I need to, which one I use depends on my mood and what sort of fantasy life I'm in need of but they're all 'worlds' that I've been running for several years.

It's a comfort thing, mine started in childhood, and it can be a lovely escape from the stresses of reality. It's the mental equivalent of sticking on your dressing gown and curling up with a brew.

Oh i do that as well

Usually as I’m dropping off to sleep but sometimes in the day as well

To answer your question, OP, for me the daydreaming started as a coping mechanism for emotional abuse in childhood as it was my escape place. As I got older it developed into a form of stress relief and I often make time in my day to spend some time "checked-out" from reality in order to mentally relax and recharge (never in a way that interferes with my day to day activities though, I'm careful about that).

Are you very stressed or anxious about Covid? That might be why its sweeping into your daydreams.

Why can’t your favourite story work?

I totally do this then, but not in a dysfunctional way, just an escape from reality. In my many fantasy lives i’m a 20 something with no kids and no responsibilities usually travelling the world, COVID definitely doesn’t feature

@Dozer

Why can’t your favourite story work?

Is it because you are social distancing in your dream?

It doesn't work because it involves lots of people I know but don't know each other close together - like a big wedding.

I know it sounds stupid to people who don't do it.

I was subject to ACE and severe neglect as a child and this is my comfort blanket.

Now I am crying. God I am so stupid. Crying because I can't daydream my favourite daydream. Like a fucking child.

Sorry. I am embarrassed.

I will look on reddit. Thank you for your kindness.

I am always my age, with DH and my kids, but in a fantasy scenario - like a big happy extended family. I have always done it. It is part of who I am. Many of my earliest memories are daydreams and I remember all my 'greatest hits' over 40 years.

I am always my age, with DH and my kids, but in a fantasy scenario - like a big happy extended family

Ahhh i getcha, so sorry that covids fucked it up for you

It doesn't work because it involves lots of people I know but don't know each other close together - like a big wedding.

Could you work around it? Restrictions here are relaxing and in countries other than the UK they've already relaxed even further. Wider antibody testing, vaccine development, etc are all moving forward on a daily basis. Could you work any of that in to help it flow?

@KittyFantastico you are a fucking genius

I have had to do research before. What a weirdo I am.

Oh thank you all.
Especially Kitty!

Well done kitty 😀

I was thinking about you just ignoring covid...but it sounds much more like you can't do that and need to have a scenario

I don't have a solution to the OP's thread but I am a MD too. Like others on this thread, I think it started as a reaction to a childhood situation. Until I read something online in recent years, I really thought this was something only I did. I just checked in to thank everyone for sharing their stories. You are making feel less 'weird'.

I get it.

Do you do what I used to do (and still do to a certain extent) and go do things with your characters? Like there were certain characters that I would go ice-skating with, go to the movies with and go clubbing with. If it wasn't for the fact that I'm equally as good at visualisong the setting, if their settings weren't available, I probably wouldn't see them much either.

Not a weirdo at all...
I do this too but I thought it was just me, it's not really something you discuss when out on a mums night out from school! "Anyone else have a selection of fantasy situations they replay in their mind? You know a bit like selecting a book from a shelf?"
Blank looks all round, take it that's a no then?.....

I understand. Can you incorporate some other additional calming into your day, something like using a weighted blanket perhaps? It sounds like because your stress levels are raised your daydream is becoming harder to access, which is making you more anxious.

I used to have one when I was a child where I’d be out on a prairie at night, rolled up in a blanket around a cowboy campfire with our horses tethered nearby. I’d fall asleep looking at the stars and watching the campfire, the crickets chirping.

I work with children with ACE now, and victims of CSE.

We are weirdos, but we are blessed by amazing brains that helped us when we needed them. I love my MD, I need it. Genuinely felt scared I was losing my fav story but I think I can find a way round it.

I am always my age, with DH and my kids, but in a fantasy scenario - like a big happy extended family. I have always done it. It is part of who I am. Many of my earliest memories are daydreams and I remember all my 'greatest hits' over 40 years

In one of my favourites, DH and I decided to jack it all in and buy a hotel in the Scottish Highlands but it was mis-sold and/or we didn't read the small print so when we got there it was a wreck. We spent a year or so gradually doing it up and the opened for guests. The DC help us out with little jobs around the place but mostly they have lots of jolly adventures in the outdoors, we have various people visiting us, little challenges crop up now and again but we're happy. Our latest venture is to have a 'farm to table' thing going on, we've bought some adjoining land for a few animals and some crops so that we can produce our own milk/butter/cheese/eggs and fruit and veg.

I sound like a right whackadoodle but it's such a good coping mechanism and it brings me a lot of comfort.

I do have others where DH and the DC are conveniently non-existent while I'm off living the glamorous life somewhere exciting or the very, very quiet life somewhere remote.

@Fanthorpe - you are right, yes. Thank you

Ah I see the issue, your daydream has to have real things in it to work, sorry my point doesn’t help!

Lol 🙂, cross post!