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DH about to get the sack, I’m so worried. Can anyone reassure me that we’ll be ok please?

153 replies

Ocre729 · 17/07/2020 20:04

I can’t go into details but it’s looking very likely that he’ll get the sack next week. I feel sick to my stomach. I don’t think we’ll be entitled to anything! I earn £1300 a month for 23hrs work, our mortgage payments are £500 a month and we have one DC who’s 12.

We have £4k in savings which I think we could make last for 4 months if we watched every penny. I’ve been going through our outgoings and we’re already very frugal. The only saving I think we can make is our phones.

I just feel horrible. We’re a really hard working family, never claimed benefit before (apart from our £80 a month child benefit).

Has anyone been through this and it worked out ok?

OP posts:
RebeccaPearson · 17/07/2020 20:40

And his notice and holiday pay

WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo · 17/07/2020 20:43

In your situation I'd use the savings for mortgage payments, make that your priority. It will bring breathing space for 8 months and after 9 months you can claim help to pay the interest on your mortgage.

You should be entitled to UC too.

Tbh we don't live off a huge amount, maybe £500 a week if that and we manage fine. Can afford holidayd etc. We do live very frugally tho and don't even run a car but it's not sack cloth and ashes by any means.

lifesalongsong · 17/07/2020 20:46

@RebeccaPearson

Do you think if he jumps before he’s pushed he might be able to get a reference and a clean record?
If whatever he's done is so bad that he's been sacked why would leaving mean they give him a better reference? It's not a situation I've been in personally so trying to think that one through. Does anyone actually do references any more, I don't remember the last time I actually had one.

Maybe if you list your outgoings OP we can suggest some savings

ChaoticCatling · 17/07/2020 20:46

£1300 after tax and NI? I earn the same, plus a small amount in child benefit and working tax credits, rent £600 a month. My teen and I live comfortably on that. Obviously you have another adult to feed, but as long as he can find a bit of work then that sounds doable.

RebeccaPearson · 17/07/2020 20:52

They could get him to sign a settlement agreement (where he agrees not to pursue them in tribunal) and in return they let him leave with his notice and an agreed reference. It’s quite common.

ajandjjmum · 17/07/2020 20:55

Has he taken legal advice - if it was an error under pressure and he has a good record over 20 years, surely that should be taken into account?

Ocre729 · 17/07/2020 20:56

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate the replies. I’ve been going through our finances and our spending is mainly in the supermarket! I’m feeling positive that we can get through this, we’ll knuckle down as a family, DS is already in the frame of mind of lockdown so it won’t feel like a huge lifestyle change to not be going anywhere. He’s also quite happy just hanging out with his mates. We’ll be ok. I don’t think anyone goes through life without experiencing something like this.

OP posts:
oldbagface · 17/07/2020 20:56

Do you claim pip for your disability? It's NOT an out of work benefit.

In terms of phones, go sim only. I find smarty and voxi the best for my family. Have saved me a fortune.

Cut down on meat and have more veggie, bean and legume based meals.

Trying to think of other savings and will come back with more if I think of any.

You earn more than the minimum income floor so will be light touch for UC. You will get money from them for DC. If DC doesn't get dla it's about 60 per week.

Have you stuff lying about that you can sell on eBay?

I really.feel.for you op Flowers

Ocre729 · 17/07/2020 20:59

ajandjjmum this is so fresh that we really don’t know what his options are. We’ll see what Monday brings and take advice from there.

He hasn’t committed fraud or theft. (As previously suggested). Sorry for not giving more details, I know that no one can advise properly without knowing the full story.

OP posts:
SusieOwl4 · 17/07/2020 21:01

If this is a one off with a previously unblemished record I would hope he would not be sacked. If he is not in a union you can get free advice from ACAS or he could join a union .

SusieOwl4 · 17/07/2020 21:02

You can read his contract and you should know from that what the outcome could be.

EmbarrassingAdmissions · 17/07/2020 21:04

it’s looking very likely that he’ll get the sack next week.

That's wretched, OP. Is there any chance at all it will be a reprimand and he'll be placed on performance review if it was error and nothing else was involved?

Would you be eligible for the mortgage holiday arrangement if you needed to do this to conserve your £4K for essentials such as Council Tax etc.?

They're pretty tough, but the forums on Money Saving Expert are outstanding at helping people to reduce their outgoings and cope during times of financial scarcity.

Ocre729 · 17/07/2020 21:05

oldbagface Thankyou for all the practical advice, I really appreciate it.

I don’t qualify for any disability benefits, I’m not ill enough. It’s a horrible place to be actually-too well to claim but not well enough to cope with a full working week (that’s a whole other thread!). I’ve worked for the last 18 years with no more than a handful of days off but I’ve only managed that by working part time. I know that if I worked full time my condition would deteriorate rapidly. I did try for 18 months and it nearly killed me.

OP posts:
Babyroobs · 17/07/2020 21:07

You'd get £381.85 UC per month assuming your husband doesn't get sanctioned/ penalised or anything for losing his job.

OrchidJewel · 17/07/2020 21:07

Is he absolutely sure he is gone though? Is it in his terms of contract? I'm sure you've looked at this already. I did something awful in my job a few years back but there is a 'no blame culture' so I held on.

Sorry you are going through this

Ocre729 · 17/07/2020 21:07

We can take a mortgage break so that’s a relief.

It’s typical that this happened on a Friday leaving us in limbo over the weekend.

OP posts:
Babyroobs · 17/07/2020 21:08

@WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo

In your situation I'd use the savings for mortgage payments, make that your priority. It will bring breathing space for 8 months and after 9 months you can claim help to pay the interest on your mortgage.

You should be entitled to UC too.

Tbh we don't live off a huge amount, maybe £500 a week if that and we manage fine. Can afford holidayd etc. We do live very frugally tho and don't even run a car but it's not sack cloth and ashes by any means.

You cannot claim help with your mortgage interest until you have had zero income for 39 weeks on UC. Unless op gives up her job this is not going to happen.
Ocre729 · 17/07/2020 21:09

We’ve not looked at his contract, we can’t find it after so many years!

OP posts:
OrchidJewel · 17/07/2020 21:10

Get a copy of it [wine it saved me]

Babyroobs · 17/07/2020 21:11

Op with your earnings, UC and child benefit you will have a total income of £1762 per month. After mortgage that will leave you with £1262 to live off which is feasible with good budgeting surely ?

Justaboy · 17/07/2020 21:12

but has made a serious error (under the pressure of Covid).

Just to repeat other advice is he in a union or can you speak or contact ACAS?..

supercatlady · 17/07/2020 21:12

Definitely speak to ACAS. Also worth checking your home insurance for free legal cover - hubby had free support through an employment tribunal.
Best of luck

Junenamechange · 17/07/2020 21:13

OP, I take it he is not in a union? He needs to join one and quickly. Without more info I can’t really advise, but if it’s public sector then it would be Unison.
The ‘rules’ are that you can’t be represented by a union rep in a preexisting offence. BUT you can still be advised. In other words, you can be told what to say and do, but it would be you saying them rather than the union official. But just knowing the union are involved would be enough for the employer to ensure everything is done correctly.
You say a serious error due to COVID. Well a lot of employment advice is just that - advice not law.
If you want to PM me I might be able to give you some tips. I was the Lead Officer in a union branch and represented hundreds of people.

MuchTooTired · 17/07/2020 21:13

I’m so sorry you’re in this position. I’ve no advice really, other than both of you should do a soft search and apply for a 0% purchases credit card (there’s some really long deals out there) which could help stretch out your income and savings for a longer period if he struggles to find work. I know it’s really not great advice, but it is practical and he’s employed currently. Hopefully he’ll find another job quickly and you won’t have to use it, but if you do it’ll be interest free!

Ocre729 · 17/07/2020 21:14

Another small positive is that I’ve just bought DS new clothes and his school uniform so I don’t have to worry about that. The clothes will last him until Christmas (maybe even longer if we’re on food rations and we can slow down his growth rate!) managed to crack a little joke there!

OP posts: