What's a good "starter" dog for someone with a bit of a dog fear?

[NellyF1]

What's a good "starter" dog for someone with a bit of a dog fear and who is new to owning a dog?

Interested to know about the breed, gender, etc. that would be best.

Ideally not a very loudy or aggressive breed.

Also, how much does all the maintenance (living costs, food, vet, etc.) costs come to? Can he/she be left alone during the day from 9-5? How often must he/she be walked, is there risk of them pooping in the house unattended?

A stuffed one. You can't leave a dog alone 9-5. How are they supposed to hold their bladder, bowels that long?

Also you cannot own a dog and expect to control them if you are afraid of them. Dogs can smell fear and anxiety and young dogs especially will run rings round you if they detect weakness. My two are good as gold, completely trustworthy. The second my niece takes the lead, they turn into complete brats, pulling, barking, leaping up at her. They know she's nervous of them and take advantage, its like when a teacher can't control a class. And these are labradors, the softest, easiest dogs ever.

The second I take hold of them or give a command they revert to looking and behaving like butter wouldnt melt. Its confidence they respond to. One of their trainers from the puppy class said to me Always give instructions as though you expect them to be obeyed.

Try borrowing an older well behaved dog to start you off and build some confidence.

Do NOT get a dog if there’s going to be nobody at home all day! It’s cruel and stupid.

Having said that, I’ve read that King Charles spaniels are very easy little dogs, and that was certainly a friend’s experience.

They are prone to congenital heart problems, though.

Please spend some time reading about what a dog actually needs. Then it will become clear that you cannot ever leave a dog alone from 9 to 5.

Don't get a dog OP if this is about you. Not clear from your second post.

There are no guaranteed 'easy care' dogs and if people are getting worked up, it's because thousands of people do just this and the animals end up not looked after or in dog's homes. Which a lot of people care about and even donate money or time to.

Honestly, leaving a dog 9-5 isn't appropriate and it's a living creature, you can't guarantee it's temperament. What would you do if a dog turned out nippy or in-your-face? long periods alone will not help socialise and train it.

Having a dog is a nice idea but its interests and wellbeing must come first and it doesn't sound as though you're well positioned to look after it.

We walked a neighbour’s dog (rescue staff, and a right blighter some of the time) for two years before giving in to DD’s pleading for one of our own. Can you borrow one for walks? No feed bills, no vet bills, and you can hand them back - it’s like being a Dog Grandparent.

I recommend this one:

If you get a dog please don’t leave it 9-5 it’s unfair on the dog they thrive on human interaction.

We have a two year old fox red Labrador, she costs us around £60 a month in insurance (Pet Plan one of the more expensive providers but I’ve heard one of the best for paying claims etc.), we then have a dog walker 3 days (I am Work from home 2 days) a week which is around £120 a month.

Dog food we spend around £60 a month on.

Vet fees it was around £200 to get her spayed laparoscopically, although this is with a discount as my dad is a vet. If you have insurance though you won’t need to worry about vet bills as they should be covered - just make sure you take out a lifetime policy for your dog.

We also pay around £14 a month for the Wellness Plan which covers monthly flea, tick and worm treatment and vaccinations each year. It also includes quarterly check ups with a vet nurse (although we don’t take this option up given my dad is a vet) - most vets now have some sort of Plan like this which is similar.

If you do get a dog walker make sure you research them I.e. reviews etc. My colleague had a dog walker and their dog was very energetic and it turned out they were only walking the dog for ten minutes despite paying for an hour! (Has evidence from CCTV).

Getting a dog is a massive commitment we’ve completely changed our lifestyle around her for example we only go to dog friendly pubs and cafes now and weekends revolve around her. We both work full time so we think it’s so important she gets enough attention at the weekend. She’s never left alone at weekends.

Dogs need to be walked at least 30-60 minutes a day depending on the breed. We walk out twice a day plus take her running with us but she is a working breed so they do require more exercise. Which breed of dog you go for will depend very much on how prepared you are to exercise it.

I read a quote once:
“To a dog you are their whole world, whereas to you they are just part of that world” And that’s really stuck with me!

I know several people with greyhounds and all of them are chilled out, lazy lumps

The grey we’ve just fostered was not your typical GH - he would walk 10k a day and wanted to play in between walks. He’d sleep lots but not the 20 hours a day I’d expect. He also couldn’t be left for more than 3 hours without eating the sofa
Total sweetheart but I guess young (20 months) and making up for lost time.

Op you’re getting a hard time here but

1. If you are nervous of dogs - I’d spend some time with some first. Smaller dogs are probably the way to go but be sure of breed

1. You really can’t leave them that long (which I think has been well established so am not going to bang on about it).

1. Bills will depend on several factors, for example a smaller dog needs less food than a larger one. But some breeds are more expensive to insure. Additionally larger dogs mean larger dog beds, more anaesthetic or drugs if they are unwell or need an operation,

All dogs no matter how well trained will usually at some point have an accident in your home.

A dog is a big commitment so do think it through carefully.

Why don't you volunteer at a rescue centre for a while, OP, doing dog walking? I think that would help you gauge how fearful you are and how well you will cope with other people's dogs when out and about. You would also be around experts who would give you excellent advice on training, temperament and costs and give you a better idea of what would suit you. But I do agree with PP that the dog cannot be left 9 to 5 so day care is going to be a huge cost. I have a friend who is single and works full time, she drops her dog to day care on her way to work and picks her up on her way home. It works beautifully for them and her dog is very happy but it is a significant cost.

Also, there are other pets who make good companions, OP, it might be worth considering them. I have never had one, but guinea pigs are meant to be very chatty and love human interaction. We did have ferrets for a while when our lives were not very dog friendly and they were brilliant! You need two as they really need company (they love having someone to cuddle up with), sleep about 20 hours a day, don't need walking and don't make any noise. When they are awake they are absolute balls of energy and love to play. They are very clever and problem solve. Have a think but they are loving creatures and give back love and attention in spades. We found our two soon settled into our routine and were awake in the morning and then when the kids came home from school, winding down around my DCs bedtime. DH said they were the best pets we ever had!

I wasn't terribly sure about getting a dog because I can be a bit nervous of them.

We got a cockerpoo puppy and she's a joy. good natured, cuddly, briliant with kids.

BUT - having a puppy is much harder than I ever imagined. Take a look at the puppy survival threads.

We both work full time and the only way we've managed is due to lockdown, wfh, having v tolerant employers who are happy with flexible working and family on hand who'll take the puppy when needed.

I don't know how anyone has a puppy and works full time - I don't think it can work. Certainly not for the first 3 months while they are being house trained.

It's expensive, sleep depriving and incredibly limiting.

Someone suggested spend a weekend putting all your favourite shoes away, dressing in absolute scruffs, opening the back door every 20 minutes and shouting go pee or poo, setting your alarm to wake up 4 times a night . That's about it for 3 months.

It's not even whether the dog can hold it's bladder and bowels, it is just a miserable existence being left alone all the time. That is why prisoners are punished with solitary confinement.

@ItsLateHumpty

I know several people with greyhounds and all of them are chilled out, lazy lumps

The grey we’ve just fostered was not your typical GH - he would walk 10k a day and wanted to play in between walks. He’d sleep lots but not the 20 hours a day I’d expect. He also couldn’t be left for more than 3 hours without eating the sofa
Total sweetheart but I guess young (20 months) and making up for lost time.

A colleague has a greyhound (one of the aforementioned lazy lumps!) and he showed me a brilliant video of the daft thing darting around all of the living room furniture at top speed. Apparently he gets the zoomies for five minutes every evening, but otherwise he just sleeps

@NellyF1 what’s the verdict? You’ve had a few opinions, and options. Will you be away for at least 8 hours a day?
What time can you spend with a dog?

Do you think that’ll work for you?

Do you think an animals needs trump your wants?

I’ve no more skin in the game than someone who fosters dogs, but I guess if you want to listen to those posters who don’t have dogs, but have an opinion then.....

@ItsLateHumpty the posters without dogs who say talk to the people at the shelters? Or the ones that say to borrow a dog instead of getting one? Or both?

@WhatCFeryIsThis
OP, you would have been better off quietly nestling this question in on the litter tray

That place is even more of a hellhole than AIBU

@SurreyHillsGirl so much like a real litter tray then!?

@WhatCFeryIsThis
Worse. Much worse

King Charles spaniels, very gentle kind dogs, reasonably low energy. Really sweet dogs.

Chinese Crested - created to cuddle their person and happy to play and run, and happy to snoozle (mine refuses to get up before 11am). Bright and quick to learn and eager to please too.

NOT Chihuahuas. I thought...small easy dog. Are they hell. They're demons made the size of a brick. Love mine, but not a beginners breed at all. Not a collie or collie cross.