Wedding anniversary fail - PLEASE help me make a plan to lose weight!

[TheTurtleBear]

So today was our wedding anniversary and we were meant to be going out for lunch before DH had to go to work. In a fit of romanticism I decided to put on my wedding and engagement rings (took them off when I got dermatitis last autumn and just never put them back on). Unfortunately failed to note that due to spending the first three months of this year lying on the sofa ill, and the last three months comfort eating my way through lockdown and the exhaustion of going back to work, they no longer fit. My hands were cold from washing, so the rings went on without too much difficulty (though I may have shoved them a bit, as they were tightish last time I wore them so wasn't expecting it to be super easy) then as hands returned to room temperature I realised I couldn't bend my finger, and then it started rapidly swelling and turning purple. Ice, soap, dental floss and lube all failed, so at the exact time we got married five years ago, DH was hacking my wedding ring off with a pair of pliers . He thinks it's hilarious. I am mortified. Needless to say we missed lunch...

All of which brings me on to: I need to lose weight. Lots. I needed to before, but the last six months have turned me from 'could do with dropping a few dress sizes' into 'is that chair going to survive?'. I know all the diets, all the plans, all the science. But I have no willpower and am bloody exhausted.

Food prep is already generally difficult - (two shift workers, DH dairy-intolerant and deeply anti-vegetable, me coeliac, DS1 horrifically picky due to SPD AND now trying to be veggie, DS2: toddler) and so we rely far too much on bung-in-oven and take aways. I actually like cooking and am quite good, but have no headspace, and making a meal all of us can enjoy is frankly a bloody nightmare.

From previous dieting experience if I don't meal plan to death I fall off the wagon. As soon as I have to wing it, everything goes out the window. For various health reasons low carb works best for me, but I'm stuck in a cycle of using sugar to function at the moment and the thought of having to stop that, and meal plan within an inch on top, and then actually make food as opposed to heating stuff up/ making pasta again/ browsing Deliveroo is making me vaguely hysterical.

But - I am prediabetic, my hips and knees ache to buggery, I have fatty liver disease, and now I've had to have my wedding ring cut off... Clearly something must be done.

Any and all ideas welcome. I'd offer in return, but I've eaten it.

I guess you need to agree 4 or 5 meals that everyone will eat and that are either healthy or have healthy versions (eg homemade veg chilli). On the other nights, get your partner to cook things the rest of them will eat and you have your own meal e.g. soup.

Don’t let the whole burden of it rest on you, you all need feeding after all.

PS sorry about your ring!!

You could be me! I'll join you!

I hear you ! I've gradually put weight on and am now 6 stone overweight. I've tried SlimmingWorld/ weight watchers but I always fail because I feel like I'm depriving myself. I'm a foodie. I comfort eat, I eat for joy, I eat socially.. I love food!

4 weeks ago I started KETO diet. It took about 10 days to get into but now I'm finding it easy. It's a very different way of eating, it's high fat low carbs, so no bread rice pasta startchy bread etc but I feel satisfied because I can eat full fat cheese and cream.

I've lost 13lb in 4 weeks so far!

I got into it by ordering a couple of books from amazon (KETO for beginners and quick KETO 30 minute meals) and I downloaded the KETO diet app on my phone. There is a free version of the app but I recommend paying to upgrade it (it's £3 for one month or £12 for a year)

I'm also a shift worker (emergency services) boiled eggs, walnuts and almonds , and babybel cheese are your portable easy to make friends! Your DH can get his fats from nuts and avocado if he's dairy intolerant.

There is a low carb topic in the big/slim weight Topic area.

I get my takeaway fix from having chicken tikka tandoori with saag aloo from the Indian.

I have a brilliant KETO bread roll recipe which is satisfying too for those days when you're craving bread. We use is for egg and bacon cobs at the weekend!

www.dietdoctor.com/recipes/the-keto-bread

Hi, I found keto/low carb was the only way I lost weight and kept it off (except during lockdown, I've piled it all back on!)

I just make myself different meals to everybody else (3 kids with dyspraxia and food issues, so we all tend to eat different foods to each other anyway).

I find that when I go back to eating carbs/ sugar, I tend to binge eat.

Good luck with it, hopefully now lockdown has eased, it might get easier to get motivated (although I've just eaten a bag of hula hoops and some biscuits, not very keto!)

I’m reading a fascinating book called ‘how not to diet’. Basically a massive collation of all the scientific papers on obesity and the author and his team have teased out all the stuff that actually works. Lots of little diet/lifestyle tweaks that are proven to help.

Also agree that low carb is really good, I've followed it for six weeks & lost a stone, easy to cook nice meals & just add rice/pasta/potatoes for the rest of the family. If you are eating the correct amount of 'good fats' you won't feel hungry but even if you are 'peckish' you can have a piece of cheese or something tasty to fill you up. Lots of friendly support & advice on the Boot Camp threads on here (& it won't cost you anything!).

I used to swear by Keto but now I'm lactose intolerant I really struggle with it. Like you OP I know how to follow all the popular diets but I have no willpower! I am trying to stop 'dieting' though as I know it's unhealthy and a big cycle of losing then gaining then losing.
I've ordered that book @Wheresmrlion it has great reviews online too so here's hoping it helps

@Wheresmrlion - any tips? 😁 I'm "on a diet" but I'm not a fan of diets. I'm just eating less and moving more. But would be good to know if I'm making any cardinal mistakes!

Cutting out food groups (like Keto) just wouldn't work for me.

I (skeptically) started keto 24 weeks ago and have lost 50lbs. Its the easiest weight loss plan I've followed, and most sustainable for me.

I bought a book with a meal plan included and followed that while I educated myself. It would probably be a good choice as you're coeliac.

I cook separate meals for my family but will cook myself several portions of each meal so I can often just reheat my dinner .

I think the most important thing is to find something you will be able to stick at as it takes time and you don't want to set yourself up to fail.

Brilliant thread, thanks OP. @GetTheStartyParted what was the name of the book that you bought?

@bumpsadaisy11 it was "Keto Diet for Beginners and Pros" you will definitely find better books out there but it did the trick for me and my DH.

I have just bought a new book by Monya Kilian Palmer called Keto Kitchen. This doesn't have a meal plan but is filled with lovely recipes, much more 'normal' food in it too.

The main lesson I learned from the first book was portion size. I thought I would be so hungry on the meals it suggested but I really wasn't.

It’s a tome so difficult to summarise. But things I’ve started doing include -

• Going for a walk before breakfast (burn more than doing the same walk anytime after breakfast)
• Big breakfast, swapping lunch and dinner around so main meal at lunchtime (you burn more calories early in the day even eating the same food). Trying not to eat the evenings which is hard!
• eat loads and loads of leafy greens for various reasons. I stick a bit in a smoothie, he eats like a pound a day which I think most people wouldn’t manage but the more the better.
• pure sugar is really bad

Lots of advice on easy supplements that can help but I wouldn’t want to recommend what and quantities, the book has precise guidelines.

If I was you, and assuming cost wasn't an issue, I'd leave everyone else eating whatever they're eating atm - preferably prepped by DH to keep you away from temptation and focus on low carb whatever for me. At least for a month until I'd got into my groove. Stock up on full fat yogurt, frozen berries, chicken breasts, fish portions , cauliflower and kale rice bags, frozen veg ( Iceland are good for all this) M and S do some low carb ready meals too - freeze half a dozen of them too. Make it as easy as possible to stick to whatever works for you

Oh wow thank you so much everyone, some really helpful advice here! @Wheresmrlion I'll look at that book, and actually @GetTheStartyParted that sounds really good. I just need somebody else to have done the thinking for me.

@Gymtonic that seems sensible. DH won't be impressed with being left to it but tbh if it gets me going it's probably worth it. I can work on weaning the rest of them off frozen nuggets once I've started sorting myself out.

Good luck OP, you can do this! If you'd like some weightloss buddies, I'm on a thread that I find very supportive. [[https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/weight_loss_chat/3955008-Lose-7lbs-3kg-per-month-July-thread ]]

Do you have the ability to start some gentle weightlifting? Building muscle is a great way to get fit and the body uses calories just to maintain muscle so you are technically burning when you're not working out - it's a win win!

@Sairafina sorry I lost this thread! I could do some I think but have no idea where to start. There seems to be so much conflicting advice online - it's a bit like the meal plan- I just want someone to tell me what to do .

Three words - keto, keto + keto.

I did it in 2018, from Feb - September I lost 4 stone. Put it back on (before anyone says anything about that - you’ll regain weight if you eat like a fat shit again no matter what diet you do).
I restarted a month ago and have lost 15lb. I’m finding it slower coming off this time but they say it’s harder the more times you have to diet.

Your looking for someone to tell you what to do, I get that. I knew what I had to do this time, I just kept putting it off as it’s just easier to bung chips in bla bla bla. So:

Breakfast - eggs any way, FULL FAT Greek yogurt, berries and double cream.

Lunch - meat of some kind, greens, eggs again, cheese

Dinner - meat if you want, broccoli, fish, salad, cheese sauce (homemade, keto recipe not standard recipe), omelette, cook in good quality olive oil or coconut oil, stir fry minus noodles. Obviously not all together just some ideas there

Snacks - certain nuts (look them up), cheese, coffee made with cream not milk, deli meats, eggs.

Just some ideas OP. Obviously there is a lot more you can eat I’m just quickly jotting down what I tend to eat day to day.

The first thing people normally say is they can’t get passed the eating fat thing. Eat allll the fat the first week or so. Keeps you full and keeps you from giving in to that chip/crisp/chocolate. Definitely don’t combine it with any carbs as that is a recipe for weight gain.

After a week or so you’ll feel amazing, and will have dropped several pounds. Good luck.

I know exactly how you feel OP, I am in a similar position and find the biggest thing that stops be doing or sticking to anything is that I am permanently exhausted. I am tired all the time due to a few factors (medical conditions and other factors) and when I'm tired I am less motivated and make less healthy choices, it's really difficult.

It sounds like a lot of you really rate Keto - I don't think I could do it as I'm vegetarian and I assume includes quite a lot of meat but well done to you all doing so well.

xx

I hate to agree but for me anyway keto is the only way.

I have a very fussy DP so a lot of our meals are vaguely similar but I’ll change it a bit as I refuse to cook 2 completely different dinners.

So he’ll have normal bolognese with spaghetti and I’ll have the bolognese but on a bed of kale. Same with curry, he’ll have rice and I’ll have either spinach or kale. Stir fry’s are also easy and more basic things like chicken breasts with potatoes for him and loads and loads of leafy greens cooked in butter for me.

The other thing I think that really helps is combining it with Intermittent Fasting. This may not work depending on what shifts you work but I don’t eat before 11am and then finish eating by 7pm. I’ll have a big omelette at 11.30 ish, maybe a bit of cheese mid afternoon and then a big dinner around 6.30 so effectively IF plus cutting out a meal a day

Google metabolic balance or look up the Petronella diet. Both have similar principals. Allow 'treats' and are very simple