Do you expect to eat together?

[ImFree2doasiwant]

If you do all the cooking, do you eat with your other half? Or do you think its acceptable to say "I'm starting dinner, it'll be 30 minutes" then "dinners nearly ready" only for your OH (husband in my case) not to eat their dinner for up to a hour after it's ready.

This was before children, just the 2 of us, both working full time. After children I fed them separately and "we" are later. Often me while the for was hot and him sometime after.

We almost always eat together. It does occassionally happen that he wants to cycle first or if I'm not hungry yet, but we tell the other person this in advance.

We share the cooking but if one of us isn't hungry when dinner is ready, we'll just heat it up later.

No. We tend to just all sort ourselves out when we're ready to eat.
Maybe once or twice a week one of us will make a meal for everyone but we still don't eat together.

I used to try because I thought family meals at the table were something you had to do. But it was horrible.
Now I think sod that, it's just fuel. I'm so over trying to force it into an event.

Yes we eat together as a family unless one of us is out and then the other will eat with DD at home.

Eating together is a must do for us, major marital/family glue. If he wants to eat later that's fine as long as I know in advance. If he just didn't turn up I'd be furious. But it's unlikely, he loves his food!

No kids which makes a difference but if we're at home we always eat together. Occasionally different things but usually we meal plan together and one or both of us cooks. We don't eat at the table at the moment as the dining room is now our wfh office.

We try to as much as poss but we mostly have different meals so it can sometimes be tricky.

We often eat at different times because do has a hobby that takes over his life (and mine). I don't really care tbh, I would rather not watch him eat, he has no manners, shovels it in and god forbid it's hot or the mouth hangs open and air gets sucked in to cool it down 🤢

I should have added, we nearly always eat dinner together though, as we tend to eat lunch around the same time.

But ultimately we won't just eat because the clock tells us we should.

We discuss. So "shall I make dinner in an hour or so?" And we eat together unless one of us is out. (We eat dinner after the dc are in bed).

OP - if he routinely doesn't join you, doesn't discuss it, doesn't advance warn you, then I'd just stop cooking for him. Make yourself something. Pour a glass of wine and listen to something while you cook and eat. Make it a solo event.

See what he says when there's no food later on.

We try to as much as we can but it's not a deal breaker. We'd never do what you described though, if the other person has made your dinner, you come and eat it now!

I should add, both in the house in the evening, no hobby, usually watching tv or in the bath for 90 minutes. If he was out, it wouldn't bother me.

I do most of the cooking. In normal times he'll often be home too late to eat with me and the kids, and will warm up his portion when he gets home. At the moment he's working from home, but still ends up missing the meal sometimes if he's in a zoom meeting while we're eating. No big deal.

However if I felt there was no good reason for him to miss it I'd be a bit pissed off.

I would find that very strange and rude - if we can’t eat what the other is cooking when they cook if we would actually say so!

We sometimes eat together sometimes separately but if one person has cooked for others we eat together unless they are late back from work or similar. We generally say before we start "is dinner at 7 ok" or whatever.

We'd generally eat together pre-kids, but now we have DS we always do it - studies show that eating together as a family is enormously beneficial to children's mental health.

We always eat together unless one of us is at work. DS went through a phase of not coming to the table when called..... three times I “threw his dinner away” (actually DH ate it or I put in the fridge and had it for my lunch the next day) and he learned the lesson.

Also I will add, it's no longer an issue as we seperated. Not because of this, obviously, but it did bother me. I found it really rude tbh.

@TokyoSushi as you said, surely if someone cooks for you, you come and eat it!

The household eats together, unless someone's going to be out too early or too late to shift the mealtime. I don't think it would occur to either of us to do things differently.

Younger son did once opine that we were Weird for all eating dinner together ("nobody sits down for dinner as a family") but we have ignored this.

I do think it's odd to put off eating the meal that someone else has cooked. I mean, if he was feeling full from an unusually large lunch, or not feeling well, that's one thing; but as a general practice it's very strange. Did you ever try cooking much later?

We eat together. Everyone knows when dinner will be ready and we eat at the same time.

Yes, unless someone is working late or we have conflicting plans for evening.
If o e of us cooked a meal and called the other to be told that they'd eat it later or whatever (unless there was a bloody good reason) the chef would rightly get the hump. In this house all 4 adults have chosen to live as a family and that's eating the main meal as a group if we are all in at the same time. Breakfast is as and when and the lighter meal is grab and go.

If one of us has cooked for both we always eat together - before and after kids. It we're cooking separately (eg often now as I have specific dietary requirements) then we don't always wait for the other

I think the default should be eating together, with exceptions for when it isn't convenient.

If the main meal of the day is roughly the same time, then surely you try to ensure that you are hungry at that point?

OP did you used to decide on the meal time together?

@merryhouse dinner was usually 8pm onwards.