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Original poster

She wants rid of the dog

39 replies

mummabear1967 · 09/07/2020 22:16

DS1 who is 25 is having a baby due in February with his fiancée. They have their own house and I live with my DH and my DS2.

Anyway, we have a dog who we have had since she was a puppy. DS1’s fiancée does not like dogs due to a frightening encounter she had with one when she was a child and whenever she visits my house, we have to keep our dog away from her which is fine.

Anyway, DS1 has told me that she’s told him that when the baby arrives ( my grandchild) that she just doesn’t feel comfortable with us having a dog and would prefer that we handed it to a dog shelter or sold it to a new home.

Don’t get me wrong I am absolutely excited to meet my new grandchild but I also love my dog to bits and would be heartbroken to see her go, especially when the baby won’t even be living in my house. Of course dogs can be unpredictable, but with the right precautions, the baby will be safe when it’s here.

I’m just gobsmacked that she thinks she can make us get rid of our dog, our dog has been part of our family longer than we’ve ever known her.

I just needed to rant. But no way am I getting rid of my dog

OP posts:
LouiseTrees · 09/07/2020 22:22

Why don’t you just go to their house to see/look after the baby? I’m scared of dogs too for similar reasons and wouldn’t let my baby near one but I would not tell my mum to get rid of a dog. She doesn’t have the right to make you get rid of the dog but you don’t have the right to force her to have the baby or her being near the dog.

Sunnydayshereatlast · 09/07/2020 22:26

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Floralnomad · 09/07/2020 22:30

Well at least you know where you stand , sounds like your son has picked a real charmer .

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Dogs
Allgirlskidsanddogs · 09/07/2020 22:35

Not her household, not her business.
HOWEVER I do think you could reassure her that you are happy for the dog to be kept away from her when visiting - it sounds as if you do this already. By keeping the dog you have to be prepared that you may have to visit your GC to see them and not expect DIL to be happy to visit you.

ChewChewIsMySpiritAnimal · 09/07/2020 22:36

Sounds like ds has a vicious bitch of his own.

What the fuck?! So a young woman is anxious about her baby being around a dog that she doesn't trust, and she's a vicious bitch?!

chunkyrun · 09/07/2020 22:39

Sounds like ds has a vicious bitch of his own.

^^strong words but she does sound a handful. Normally this demanding? I couldn't ever imagining asking someone to give up a beloved pet

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 09/07/2020 22:41

Bloody hell, the venom on here against an anxious pregnant woman is astounding.

OP, just reassure her that you will take precautions (keeping dog shut away while they visit) or visit them.

Things will likely change, I remember early days of pregnancy with my first, it's an awful time and it's very overwhelming trying to think of everything you need to do to protect this new person. I soon calmed down.

ImFree2doasiwant · 09/07/2020 22:41

What does your DS think?

vodkaredbullgirl · 09/07/2020 22:43

Sorry but you have had the dog way before she came on the scene. Just keep the dog way from them, or visit their house.

Polyxena · 09/07/2020 22:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Notapheasantplucker · 09/07/2020 22:45

I actually think she is a CF for expecting you to rehome your dog.

Absolutely don't do that on her account. Like other PP's have said, offer to keep the dog gated off or outside when the baby comes round.

The baby and dog don't need to have any contact, but to expect you to rehome it....pfft Hmm

Leobynature · 09/07/2020 22:49

This is a difficult one. She really can’t ask you to get rid of a beloved pet, but I have dog trust issues and wouldn’t want my newborn around one. I think a compromise is seeing grandchild at their house only until child is bigger.

nocoolnamesleft · 09/07/2020 22:50

She can't make you get rid of the dog. You can't make her bring the baby to a house with a dog in it.

justasking111 · 09/07/2020 22:50

I have a DIL who is not happy for our dog to be around the children, we just put him in our bedroom, he knows now to make his own way there. Luckily the other family are happy to play with him. He is a softie and adores children, they drop food, play ball and generally entertain him.

hettie · 09/07/2020 22:51

Could you teach your dog to be in a crate (you've got some time or in a room with a high baby gate/dog gate?

AWiseWomanOnceSaidFuckThisShit · 09/07/2020 22:52

Who the fuck does she think she is?!?!

Hatscats · 09/07/2020 22:52

She’s out of order! Fair enough ask for the dog to be out of the room when baby is there. But to rehome? Just awful behaviour! And I’m 25 weeks pregnant....

Original poster
mummabear1967 · 09/07/2020 22:57

Thanks all.

Yes, I have absolutely no problem keeping the dog away in a separate room whilst the baby is here - id never ever put the baby at risk, ever.

I’ve always ever kept the dog away from his fiancée when she’s been in my house, because I respect her wishes and I have no problem with that.

But I’m really quite angry that she thinks she’s so superior to think i will just get rid of my dog because she says so - I love my dog too much and I couldn’t bare being without her in my life.

My dog is not vicious either. She’s very calm and loving. I told DS1 that under no circumstances will that be happening

OP posts:
NoAdventureNoTime · 09/07/2020 22:58

This sounds like miss communication to me by your DS. So maybe their conversation at home went something like this:

"I wish your mum would rehome her dog then I'd feel much more comfortable, I'd really be able relax" DIL

"she already knows your scared of dogs ill let her know your worried" DS

Much later...

"mum, DW is now more worried about the dog with the baby on the way, she said you should rehome it" DS

"WTF!" you

Not really what she meant, but DS took it literally, and expressed her worries in the wrong way.

LovingLola · 09/07/2020 23:00

My dd has a friend who has a debilitating phobia around dogs. At 20 years old she could run out on the road to avoid a dog.
Have you spoken to her?

ProseccoBubbleFantasies · 09/07/2020 23:00

The thing is, she gets to dictate around her baby.

You don't have to rehome your dog, but you do maybe have to choose between your dog and your GC. That choice is yours

gutentag1 · 09/07/2020 23:03

I highly doubt she actually asked DS to get you to rehome the dog! Sounds like some Chinese whispers, she can't help being anxious.

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 09/07/2020 23:10

Argh, this reminds me. I had a weird situation a couple of years ago when a neighbour I am friendly with asked if I would help her out by having her DD here some times in the summer holidays (I teach, so am off, and am PVG checked). She said her DD would prefer our cat was not in the house. I was totally happy to have her DD - and it was going to be a favour to help her, definitely no payment - but there was no way I was going to agree to put the cat out in wet weather. She made other arrangements, but she genuinely seemed to think I was completely unreasonable.

OP, I think keeping the dog away from the baby is fine. But no to rehoming!

Original poster
mummabear1967 · 09/07/2020 23:12

@ProseccoBubbleFantasies I’d never choose between them - i love my dog and I’ll also love my GC when he or she arrives.

But I will never get rid of my dog. She means more to me than that. I understand that the safety of the child is paramount but I’d never take unnecessary risks and I’d always keep the dog away when fiancée and GC are visiting

OP posts:
indemMUND · 09/07/2020 23:15

Talk to her yourself. Obviously you'd keep the dog away from the baby, as you do for her already. She can't expect you to get rid of the dog.

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