She wants rid of the dog

[mummabear1967]

DS1 who is 25 is having a baby due in February with his fiancée. They have their own house and I live with my DH and my DS2.

Anyway, we have a dog who we have had since she was a puppy. DS1’s fiancée does not like dogs due to a frightening encounter she had with one when she was a child and whenever she visits my house, we have to keep our dog away from her which is fine.

Anyway, DS1 has told me that she’s told him that when the baby arrives ( my grandchild) that she just doesn’t feel comfortable with us having a dog and would prefer that we handed it to a dog shelter or sold it to a new home.

Don’t get me wrong I am absolutely excited to meet my new grandchild but I also love my dog to bits and would be heartbroken to see her go, especially when the baby won’t even be living in my house. Of course dogs can be unpredictable, but with the right precautions, the baby will be safe when it’s here.

I’m just gobsmacked that she thinks she can make us get rid of our dog, our dog has been part of our family longer than we’ve ever known her.

I just needed to rant. But no way am I getting rid of my dog

Shame she’s so anxious. It will rub off on the baby too.

My school friends wee brother was terrified of dogs because his mum babied him and told him how dangerous they were.

He literally tried to climb up me like a tree when a dog in the park ran over. Weird.
The dog was not a ‘scary breed’. He was like that with all dogs.

Shame as dogs are great most of the time. But I’d never leave a small child alone with one.

And the mother to be knows you never allow the dog near them when they visit so I hope she can learn to trust that you will continue to do this when baby arrives too.

You could always muzzle the dog if it makes her more comfortable looking at him over a baby gate in the dining room or whatever.

She would benefit from counselling to get over her fear as it must be quite debilitating as dogs are everywhere.

She's got some cheek. You can keep the dog away from her and the baby, but she's out of order asking you to rehome your pet on her say-so. Offer your compromise. What does your son think/say?

It’s not just a case of her being anxious. If you don’t want a baby around a dog then you keep the baby away from the dog. You don’t tell the owners to give it to a shelter. What a tit

I'd be trying to convince my son to put his fiance up for adoption. She is being completely ridiculous. You can't dictate how other people live their lives or try to get them to put their pets up for adoption just because you have had a bad experience.

She really needs to get some counselling or something or she's going to pass her fears on to her children. My cousin's wife made their children petrified of animals. To the point they would have complete meltdowns (cousin's wife included) of there was any animal in the vicinity. In public places as well as in people's houses.

I agree with you all. I’m actually feeling quite intimidated by her right now.

Obviously hell would have to freeze over before I’d even consider giving my dog away, but I feel as though she’s going to keep pushing.

DS1 thinks she’s being utterly ridiculous and doesn’t agree with her one bit as this dog was his pet at one time as well, he grew up with her too and he loves the dog. He said to me that he was actually quite upset at what she said.

I don’t know whether to say something to her. Something tells me if I do, she’ll tell her mum and then her mum will come on the phone screaming at me because how dare I stand up to her beloved daughter when she’s being stupidly ridiculous.

Her mum takes no nonsense and is very protective of her

I think you just respectfully say you’ll come visit them at their house. Take the emotion about the dog out of it.

Surely you just leave it up to your ds to tell her she's being ridiculous and needs to give her head a wobble?

I can just imagine my ds's reaction if his gf told him she wanted us to get rid of one of our dogs.

Hopefully once the baby has arrived, and she has seen how easy it is for you to see the baby without the dog being present, she will realise how daft she is being.

She needs a bit of tough love. She doesn't have to become an animal lover, but she can't carry on the way she is. It isn't fair on her, your DS, you, her baby and any fture children she might have.

@Medievalist absolutely, and I believe he will.

I’m just assuming it’s pregnancy hormones and maybe she’ll realise she’s being ridiculous and calm down soon

It's not her dog to be got rid of.

Your dog, your choice on whether you keep the dog or not.

Her choice (and your DS's, of course) whether to allow the dog around their future child or not, and you'd have to accept their choice regarding this.

She needs to consider whether she would wish to imprint her child with a fear of dogs and a lack of knowledge how to safely approach dogs, or whether there might be an opprotunity to teach dog safely.
Her choice.

I agree with a previous poster that there's no need for such spite against an anxious, pregnant woman. She is being unreasonable to expect you to rehome the dog, but isn't there a thread in classics full of the ridiculous things people did as expecting or new mothers, that made perfect sense at the time? A bit of compassion would be nice. I would reassure her that you will always keep the dog away from the child if that is her wish, but make clear that you will not consider rehoming him. In a few months or years she'll probably realise she was being ridiculous.

You stick to your guns OP. It is a ridiculous demand to make and totally over the top.

PFB syndrome I guess. YANBU OP

God what a horrible woman she is!!