Bit complicated, this is about mainly about my brother's big car, my emotions are raw- my sister has made huge mistakes with cars (who doesn't ?), my brother used to buy good cars, dad sorted everything out for sis. I don't drive, but my husband does (and dad has never been involved in any car buying decisions
Sister (nearly 50) had a couple of cars, both needed work doing, so she had dad's car. She was supposed to buy it from him, she hasn't yet.
Brother was unable to drive since he went into hospital a year ago - but I remember driving his very nice, big car (deliberately not naming cars here, as it's not important), to see dad in hospital, shopping for presents for family, and general other stuff - god, I have really STRONG memories of my brother driving me in this car, it was his pride and joy.
When my brother went into hospital is about when mum & dad gave my sister their car. They sometimes used my brother's pride and joy (called 'nice' car) as my dad has arthritis as well as having had a kidney removed, so it was easier for him to get into and out of.
It is also automatic - this is VERY important.
My sister needed to collect something and asked to borrow my brother's nice car (her car is the same make, but slightly smaller).
Mum and dad agreed, and lent it to her to collect the items.
Then brother went into hospital, so she and her partner (since lockdown), said they'd keep the car to take the car so they could take mum and dad to hospital (my sister's car was perfectly big enough for 5 people, let alone 4).
Yesterday my dad collected me in his other car, as he needed me to run some errands for him. It is low and manual. He has difficulty getting in and out of it. He crunched the gears several times, and stalled it a couple of times. He said he'd got used to automatics and was thinking of getting another?????
When I got back to their house, I had a quiet word with mum. She said she'd expected my brother's car back by now, and is worried it isn't going to be returned.
As my other thread shows, my brother died on Tuesday. He wouldn't have wanted my sister to have his car, he would have wanted dad to have it (he refused sister to borrow it when she asked him in the past). Even less, some new man he's never met using it. Especially when they have a perfectly serviceable car, and dad's other car is temperamental
I don't know how to broach this though. Mum confided in me that she fears that my sister (or maybe more likely her boyfriend) have no intention of returning it (after using for one specific reason, although I concede fate intervened in a cruel way.
Dad loved driving that car, it is not just that it's steeped in my brother, but it's easy for him to get in and out of (he needs hip replacements but cannot have them), and is automatic, so is easy to drive.
To give an idea of how my sister's boyfriend has taken ownership - last weekend - it was difficult for me to see my brother. In the end everyone agreed that my dh would drive me, dd, mum & dad to the hospital. However, our car is small, and we wouldn't fit in. So I Whatsapped my sister saying we'd need my brother's car. All hell broke loose. My sister phoned my dad shouting at him. She refused to speak to me.
In the end she said she drove us (dh & dd stayed at home), and told me I'd caused an argument with her boyfriend and he didn't want me in the car....I showed my mum the car. I wasn't abusive, accusatory or anything. I just asked for the car to accommodate us all. I met him for the first time and apologised for causing an argument between them, and he said he hoped I sorted my head out.
So I'm not sure what I'm asking here. My brother would want my dad (who he adored, I sat crying reading our texts about dad, I thought he'd be here, with me, looking after dad), he'd WANT dad, no EXPECT dad to have his car.
He would be FURIOUS that my sister's boyfriend had his pride and joy, whilst my sister had my dad's better car, whilst dad struggled with a low, manual car.
I should also add that my sister and her boyfriend have talked and both decided that dad shouldn't be driving.... dad's doctor is fine with him driving, but how convenient, maybe?