Heartbroken my dog bit my toddler

[Motherofmonsters]

I'm so upset, I know what I need to do but it's so hard.

Ive had him for 10years and he is the soppiest dog in the world, if you're an adult. He's always been wary of children so I've kept them apart and they were getting on so much better.

But today he bit my DS on the face when he was behind him as we were leaving the house. Nothing serious but he has a couple marks by his mouth.

I'm so absolutely gutted

Collies are very Intelligent and very grumpy (I grew up with one and got several nips), especially at the age of 10 which is elderly for a border collie. I’d be a bit horrified looking back if my parents had PTS.

I remember mine hated me behind her too, she went into full herding mode to move the straggler back into the pack.

Dogs don't usually bite without reason but that reason may also be a medical reason that at his age the vet may also not wish to treat.

I think PTS is the most humane thing to do in this instance. It would break me too, but it's not only fair on people but on the dog. It's not a punishment to the dog, it is preventing him from losing the quality of life he has been used to.

I have to agree with couchbettato. It's a terrible thing to have to do, and I know it would tear me apart and that it will you, but if you can't guarantee an adult-only permanent re-home, then it is much kinder to let your dog be painlessly euthanised than risk him not settling in a new home, and being passed from hand to hand.

It might, however, be worth contacting a Border Collie rescues to see if they would be able to suggest anything. Many older people are happy to take an elderly dog, as long as they know what they are taking on. If you do do this, please be totally frank about what has happened. That way if they do think he can be re-homed, they will be very careful about where he is placed.

My heart goes out to you. This is a dreadful decision to have to make, but your child must come first.

Someone bought up guide dogs? They are very carefully bred, only the non aggressive personalities are chosen, and their breeds are non aggressive, they are trained and if aggressive, in any way, will not be chosen.

And even so - they would not recommend dogs go with small children, and never ever left unattended.

So OPs dog, who is ‘wary’ already of children, and only just getting along, and has now bitten the child - I’d say OP you have been irresponsible. You knew your dog was wary, you cannot ‘test this out’ on your son who you can’t supervise closely enough. Rehome your dog and protect your child. If my child had been with anyone who let their dog bite mine, I would not let them near it again. I understand you are upset however I am quite worried you are more upset about what happens to your dog than your child.

OP said at the outset that the dog has always been wary of children and she has to try to keep them apart. So this isn't a 'the toddler/pain must have done something to cause it' issue.

I love dogs and yes, there are a tiny few circumstances where PTS or re-homing might not be necessary. But I don't think this is one of them. This isn't a dog that's normally loving and comfortable with kids.

Also OP, if your child goes to nursery or similar, you need to be honest about where the marks come from. If they are properly trained in child protection they’d need to know that you are acting responsibly and seeing the vet about your dog now.

Please call Dogs Trust or RSPCA they can take on older dogs and they do not HAVE to be rehomed. DT have sponsor dogs for this reason.

so sorry, OP. But there is only one thing to do. You have a choice between dog and child. There have been tragic cases where the wrong choice has been made.

I was in A and E listening to someone who made the wrong choice, in this case resulting in her husband having his hands ripped up. The dog had bitten before and they had taken no action.

your kid also needs a trip to minor injuries for tetanus jab and antibiotics.

Someone bought up guide dogs? They are very carefully bred, only the non aggressive personalities are chosen, and their breeds are non aggressive, they are trained and if aggressive, in any way, will not be chosen. that’s only the theory though. In reality that’s not always how it happens.

They are, by their very nature, dogs. They’re not some special being just because they’re guide dogs.

Guide dogs are withdrawn because of e.g. dog aggression, and I know at least one which was withdrawn because it snapped at a child. Not the owner’s child I hasten to add, and it was provoked as the child crawled under a bus seat and grabbed its face, even the mother acknowledged that, but the owner didn’t feel comfortable about keeping it after that. It was the owner’s decision though not the organisation’s.

Around 1-2k children have treatment for dog bites every year, that is around 1 for every 6k dogs in the UK. 10% of children experience physical abuse in the home. So don't listen to posters who are saying this is your fault for having children and dogs in the same. This is not your fault.

Firstly, try and get your dog checked by a vet to make sure there is no pain or illness that could have caused this out of character behaviour. Then go from there.

@imanopossum

Around 1-2k children have treatment for dog bites every year, that is around 1 for every 6k dogs in the UK. 10% of children experience physical abuse in the home. So don't listen to posters who are saying this is your fault for having children and dogs in the same. This is not your fault.

Firstly, try and get your dog checked by a vet to make sure there is no pain or illness that could have caused this out of character behaviour. Then go from there.

It's not out of character though. Read the OP again.

This happened to me some years ago. I had a Border Collie who bit a friends toddler when she was visiting. We also had a 19 month old daughter and couldn’t take the risk of keeping our dog.

We advertised our dog in the local paper, free of charge, and we were totally upfront about the issues. You would be surprised how many people responded. We telephone interviewed the applicants and invited our favourites to visit our home and meet our dog.

They were an older couple, with no children or grand children and they were experienced border collie owners. We also visited their home in the country before we handed our beloved dog to them. They were just perfect and we kept in touch until the dog sadly died naturally at the end of his life.

It was very sad for us, of course, but eventually, some years later when our kids were a bit older, we got a Labrador, a perfect dog to have with children.

So please don’t give up hope, you may be surprised who might be willing to take your dog on, if you ask around.

Good luck xx

Something which should be taken into account here is that, while the child's safety is 100% the priority, pets are often considered to be family. Its easy for everyone to pile up on the OP and dictate to her what she MUST do with HER pet, you're not in her position. If you had a much loved family pet who'd been your companion for 10 years would you be able to just put it down... We don't know why this happened.

We don't know whether the dog was provoked, I.E prodded, tail pulled, fur pulled, child accidentally stepped on a paw... We don't know... So you can't automatically call for the dog to be put down.

Hi OP, I'm sorry to read of your difficult dilemna. I too would consider having your rehomed to an adult only household instead of being PTS. I grew up from birth with border collies and rough collies (we had 4 at one point). Point being, they are not known for their volatile and viscious nature. We didn't get bitten once (maybe a couple of finger snaps when food was dangled in front of their noses) I guess as with any breed, if they are not used to having young children around then they can get grouchy, will want to hide and get away for some peace when they are around etc. Places like Battersea dogs have a good assessment process and will ensure your dog has the happy environment that is best for him.

Hi Op, hope there are other options than PTS for your lovely dog. We foster dogs from the local rescue centre and prefer older dogs and many people would love to give a home to an older, trained dog. Whereabouts in the country are you? Would love to help you out. We had a long term foster dog where the family were not in a position to have her in their home but they used to come and visit.

I would get this moved to the doghouse OP. You won't helpful answers in here.

I hope you're okay - you must be so shocked

A difficult decision but the right one, OP.

I know I would get flamed but DH is at work and it's all I can think about

I don't think it's fair to flame you, OP - you've obviously been careful up to now, and probably never thought it would come to this

Unfortunately you've said it would be hard to rehome him even if it had been a good idea, so there's only one choice to make

I'm really sorry

Oh what a horrible decision to make. Hopefully you can rehome him before making any rash decisions to pts. Whatever you do please do not advertise him for free. Dogs advertised for free often end up as bait dogs.

Is he ill? My dog bit me suddenly when I was a teenager, and he was diagnosed with cancer a week later. He died a few weeks after. He must have been in pain or just feelin out of it when I went to cuddle him and he nipped me.

There's so much dog hatred on here!

Dogs can be rehomed to a non child home. They can be fostered if they have health problems- being put to sleep may be the only choice, but it certainly doesn't have to be considered before any other options are exhausted.

A bite doesn’t necessarily equal an attack though does it? If the child stepped on the dog’s tail or got too close then the dog could have snapped. It’s not ideal but it’s not an attack either.

A few weeks ago there was a thread here from someone whose dog actually did attack her child unprovoked, and only the fact the OP’s leg was in the way prevented it from happening. In that instance I would definitely say put the dog to sleep. But people are too quick to jump to “dog attacks” in these cases....

So the dog has always been wary of kids, but as been forced to live with one & must now be pts?

Shame on you, Op.

I really don't hate dogs, and I also think that dogs and children can live happily and safely together. I just think that once you know a dog has bitten a child there is only one reasonable option, sad as it is, and that's to put the dog to sleep. You don't know there won't be a next time - after all, OP was confident there wouldn't be a first time - and moving the dog to another house might keep OP's toddler safe but what if it's another child next time? I just couldn't live with that risk on my conscience. Dogs aren't people and they aren't as important as people and that's ok.

@Sirius99

It’s not hard to see who the hates dogs, Please don’t PTS the dog, Get it a full health check to rule out any underlying issues, Your child was behind the dog, did they step on the tail or paw, press on his back or hips, It may have arthritis, would you PTS your child if it attacked another child?

You can’t actually be serious? Comparing a dog to a child and asking if you would put the child to sleep if it bit another child?

Another that thinks 'pts' is extreme.

I would speak to a couple of rehoming centres and see what they suggest. A lot of 'rescue' dogs are advertised as to go to home with 'no children'/'no other dogs' etc etc, and there are genuine people out there that will take dogs on and work with their issues. On the other hand the re homing centres may be full, or say he is too old, but if you do then have to make the decision to pts, you will rest easier knowing you have tried to do the right thing for all concerned.

And for those that say young children and dogs do not mix - what utter poppycock! Of course there are the occasional dogs that can't cope with small children, may many others can and teach children so much in terms of responsibility, losing a loved one and looking after a pet.

Virtually every photo of my son when he was a baby had 1 or more of our 3 dogs in it - they adored him and would never have hurt him.....