Secondary school and Father Christmas

[ScottyDottyDooDah]

My DS was (weirdly) humming Christmas songs to himself this evening, and when I questioned him, he told me he was just letting his Elf on the Shelf know that he's thinking about him!

My DS is off to secondary school this year. He's a sensitive little soul, although not silly (the Easter bunny and tooth fairy believing stopped a couple of years ago)

Do I need to have the chat?!

Chances are he already knows and is playing along for your benefit. I did this when I wS a child and I think it was before I went to high school that my mum sat me down for the chat

Wait what? What I’m I reading? There is no Father Christmas?

Don't! My son is 12 and still believes! I told him about the bunny and fairy, but he's adamant FC is real. I will never let on. It's not up to me to burst the bubble. Although kids at school obvs tell him otherwise, he keeps his secret belief to himself and is working through things in his own way. I'm not going to intervene.

Now is the time - you can use the Christmas songs thing as a starting point.

:Heh now you're off to secondary school you're old enough to be part of making the magic for the younger ones' [pick random younger relatives or acquaintances)

Yes, please do. When I was at school one kid still believed and people were still mocking him in sixth form about it. It was pretty awful. When I worked in schools, kids would quickly and cruelly rip the bandage off and have a laugh at them.

My daughter is nearly 13 and still believes 😬

My daughter is nearly 13 and still believes 😬

Another one who had to tell her son who I vaguely recall may have started secondary school...he was really angry at me for lying to him all along :(

Yes do it. I had to with both mine or they would have been defending Santa / arguing with peers in Yr 7. Some said don't but I couldn't risk them defending him at school, which my DD did with the tooth fairy in yr 5. DS took over a week to believe me. Told him in summer after he left primary, so not near the event or when tempted to discuss with younger ones who may still believe. Still had lovely time running up to and anticipating the season. DS and I had a deal that between ourselves we'd still pretend. Probably won't remember that this year after everything that's happened.

Are kids at secondary school really that cruel?. My dd is so young for her age (11) and still likes things that 7&8 year olds usually like. She knows what is ‘cool’ but has no interest. She doesn’t care what other people think of her but her friends at primary school all just accept her as she is.
I don’t know how (or whether to )push her towards more ‘acceptable’ things.

Yes and do it now rather than closer to Christmas. DS actually already knew when I had the talk, he had just gone along with it. We still did all the usual santa stuff last Christmas and it was just as magical.

Yes you need to tell him. Mainly because teachers will assume they know by Y7!

I once taught a delightful y8 girl who had learning difficulties and still believed in Santa. She was in a bottom set and the whole group of (rough and ready) students kept up with the pretence. It was one of the most heartwarming things I have every seen.

@Hercwasonaroll

Yes you need to tell him. Mainly because teachers will assume they know by Y7!

I once taught a delightful y8 girl who had learning difficulties and still believed in Santa. She was in a bottom set and the whole group of (rough and ready) students kept up with the pretence. It was one of the most heartwarming things I have every seen.

I think I have something in my eye...

If you've got younger DC, it's amazing when the eldest knows! My dd10 now does all the elf on the shelf bollocks and is even now thinking of lovely ways to keep the magic going for her younger sister.
She writes notes to her from santa/tooth fairy/Easter bunny. It's brilliant! And my eldest loves it she initially hated me for lying to her for 'all these years'

But yes. As a secondary teacher. You MUST tell him. Weirdly I was never told. But I think you know without 'knowing". If you're the type of kid that openly talks like you believe, you'll be crucified at high school.

I must warn you she cried. She kept saying she knew he wasn't real and she just wanted me to admit it. I did. She bawled her eyes out and I felt fucking awful for days.

I told my DS just before Christmas when he was in year 6, and almost 11yo. He definitely still believed and I was glad I did. He is very naive and young for his age and 100% believed in the magic of christmas. There were children in his class who had never believed. I’m glad that we had those years of him believing but they do have to come to an end.

My dd2 told dd1! She was dd1 was 11 and didn't believe her sister.

My son worked it out in year 2!

I found a lovely (but cheesy) letter example on Pinterest about it which I sent to my DS. I adjusted a few bits in it though.
It was all about being let in on the secret and that the magic of Christmas is in all of us.

God, yes, tell him. As a teacher I am careful what I say with year 7 but I have been in a classroom setting where a kid has realised as a result of a remark from another student and it is awful to see.

Ah that's sad thanks. All the non Christians we're putting the dream to death in my sons school in year 5. I just told my son to tell them that Allah wasn't real. It had to be done.

And I know FC isn't Christian, I meant the non Christmas people.

Oh god yes. Do it over the summer, before he goes to secondary school. He'll have time to get over it before Xmas.

Are kids at secondary school really that cruel?

Yes. Far more cruel than you can imagine.