MMC - which option did you choose?

[Firevie]

Hi ladies. To give you all a bit of background: I am 36 and stopped taking contraception last May. Had regular periods until about December when I started a new and stressful job. Since then my periods have been out of whack. Hubby and I were going to start TTC this summer but we got pregnant in May without even trying - total miracle! But the miracle didn’t last. Went for my 12w scan last week to be told only 6w1d. I hadn’t given up hope until this Saturday when I started spotting. It’s still only when I wipe but it is there. Called EPU this morning - she outlined all 3 options: 1) natural MC; 2) tablet/pill; 3) surgical (under local or general anaesthetic). Now I have to decide. Basically the most important thing for me is to stay healthy because we want to TTC as soon as we can as we want to have children. Which options would you recommend/have you chosen previously. I would be grateful for any experiences please!

I think if I could have chosen, I would have opted for it to happen naturally. My situation was very similar. I think there was no more development after early in 6w, which was confirmed by scans at 7 and 9 weeks. But nothing happened. I waited until I was around 12/13 weeks for it to happen naturally and it just wasn't. I couldn't stay home from work forever (I was having to take time off and work from home because I travel a lot and have a long commute and I just couldn't risk having a mc in a train station toilet somewhere hours from home).

I went and spoke with a specialist midwife (who supports women having mc) at our EPU and I asked her what she would chose if she had to. I really didn't want to have an EPRC because I was concerned about the risks. She said absolutely no question she would go for the surgical option as medical management tends to be far for physically and emotionally difficult. I booked in for 2 days later, had it done until GA. It was absolutely fine and I'm so grateful I chose that option. All very straightforward, no pain, and it was very healing to just get on with things. I needed about a week of recover after just because I was exhausted and a bit sore, and again because of the travel issue, I couldn't get traveling for work.

I was pregnant again the month after and my son is now 2. It caused no issues in terms of fertility (I'm 39), and though I don't plan to have any more dc (I have 2 already, which is enough), if I was ever in that situation again, I would definitely opt for surgical management. I'm not sure I'd do it under local, but GA was absolutely fine.

@mindutopia thank you so much for responding and so sorry to hear you had to go through something similar! It is awful. My midwife at EPU said they usually say let it happen naturally but can understand if this process is too mentally draining. Due to COVID, my EPU is only offering local anaesthetic. For GA, they’d have to refer me to a different hospital. Currently I am leaning to surgery and because I know that EPU probably local anaesthetic. May I ask how long after the surgery you had your period? Did you wait a cycle before falling pregnant again? Thank you !

I’m sorry to hear about your MMC. I waited 2 weeks for it to happen naturally, but after days of very intense period pain I decided to go for the medical route (also as I needed to go back to work sooner rather than later) Went to hospital and had the pills - agonising pain all day and still nothing! Was offered that again 2 days later, or surgery. Chose surgery this time. Initially didn’t want surgery due to risk of having GA and potential that it could result in a hysterectomy, but everything went fine and was in and out of hospital in about 5-6 hours and felt fine afterwards. Wish I had done that in the first place!

The good news is I got pregnant again 2 months later and now have a 3mo DS. Good luck op

To add - had my first period about a month later, then conceived the following month

@CupcakesK thanks so much for your encouraging post! Is hysterectomy a risk with surgical procedure??? Midwife didn’t tell me that! She said sometimes there is scar tissue but she said that is more likely if you’ve had multiple of these procedures. Glad to hear that you got pregnant easily after and have a DS! Thank you xxx

I had had no bleeding and no indication bleeding was coming, went for the surgical option as I didn’t want to keep waiting for it to start (and needed to get back to work, was due to be doing business travel etc, so wanted it to be as predictable as poss). I got a bad infection afterwards, and then suffered an increase in my endometriosis problems which made conceiving again harder (took us over 18 months) - but my endo was a pre-existing condition, and although the surgery and infection may have (probably did?!) make it worse I can’t be sure they are linked.

My first time I had spotting at 9+3 and opted for natural, I went all the way to 17 weeks and still nothing happened so I had an ERPC in the end. Because of that, I opted straight for the ERPC the 2nd time. Condolences OP, it really is a hard decision to make.

Hi OP I’m so sorry you are going though this.
I’m currently going through my 3rd miscarriage and have to decide on treatment too. My 1st happens naturally in between the week wait for NHS scans. And my 2nd happened before I could even get to the hospital. This time I still feel pregnant so think it’s going to be a very long wait. My hospital are doing the surgical option but are “steering” women away from it because of Covid. I am thinking of going for the medical option. Although I have heard it isn’t straightforward for some women. It’s such a difficult decision but go with what your gut tells you xx

Hysterectomy is one of those very rare, worst case scenarios. It can cause damage to your womb though. You’ll probably be told of the risk when you sign The consent form for the surgery. Sorry for worrying you, that was just my personal reason for trying the other options first

I'm so sorry.

I stayed put at home, sac measured 8w6. I am very glad that's what I did. Stayed on the couch with nurofen plus, chocolate and tissues. Look after yourself whatever you decide.

Hi op. So sorry you are going through this.

I've had two MMC. Both times i opted for the wait approach. First time this was successful, 2nd time nothing happened so i opted for the tablets.

I won't lie it wasn't pleasant, but they worked quickly and the worst was over in a couple of hours. I was also able to be in my house with my DH for support (might not be possible depending on distance from hospital).

I had a MMC and was offered the options of wait and see or an ERPC. I went with the surgical (under general) - I'd had a natural miscarriage not long before and found the waiting and length of it very emotionally draining. It was the right thing to do for me, and I conceived DD1 less than a month later. Good luck, whatever you decide.

I had a MMC at 17wks picked up on ultrasound - baby had died at 14wks.
I was keen to go down the natural route but the consultant persuaded me to have a pessary instead. Think I had 2 or 3 over about 12 hrs and delivered the baby about 8pm.

They then told me to wait 3 months before trying again and I got pregnant first time we tried.

Take care OP

I have had all three and there are pros and cons to all but I would recommend surgical in your situation. I had the pill in hospital not at home and I lost a lot of blood very quickly it took me over a month to recover and it was painful. Naturally I'd only recommend if it was early, my miscarriage at that time was early so it was like a heavy period lasted 5 days which is quick and had a negative pregnancy test pretty quickly but if it's later on and you seem unlucky in the fact it's lasted so long, you Gould be in that state for another month. Surgical was a day in hospital, the actual procedure took 20 minutes. It was emotional and at times painful but over in a day.

I had a MMC in 2017, started bleeding about 11wks, scan showed it had stopped growing at around 6wks. Initially I thought I'd go natural but the bleeding stopped & I was concerned about retaining material in my womb as I'd had a retained placenta with DD a few years before. I also didn't like not knowing when it would happen. So after taking a weekend to think on it, I decided to go surgical so that I knew when it would happen, I'd have access to meds, DD could be looked after & they'd make sure everything was removed.
I was scared but it was fine. Was wheeled in & put under GA, & when I woke it was all done. DH took me home & we had a few days to ourselves to process it all.
I waited a full cycle before starting to TTC, thankfully I conceived within 3 months of the procedure & DS recently turned 2.
Good luck with which ever option you choose.

The first time I opted for natural. The second and third time I opted for tablet. The third time the tablets didn’t work and I had to have a second dose, otherwise I would have had to have ERPC. I knew I didn’t want MVA or ERPC but I know to others these are preferable over tablets. Sorry for your loss and thinking of you xx

I opted for surgical. Physically it wasn't bad at all. Conceived again the following month and she's now 8!
Good luck

So sorry to hear this. I had a very similar experience with a MMC at 10 wks and embryo only measuring 7wks. I had already started spotting by then and opted for surgical but the miscarriage happened naturally before the date and I'm really grateful for that! The MMC was discovered on a Friday and I opted for surgery the following Wednesday, hoping that the number of days in between would give it a bit more time.

Since you're spotting already chances are good it might happen by itself soon. If it's any reassurance, I found the physical side of the MC very manageable. It was basically like a heavy period for me with about 1 hr of slightly sharper pains. I was "saving up" stronger painkillers expecting it to get worse but it was actually over already. The bleeding was not even noticeably more than a normal period...maybe 10-20% heavier. I was just extremely tired after that and needed about a week off work to get back to normal (though I had a terrible first trimester with morning sickness so it might have been the cumulative effect of that rather than the MC).

My cycle returned about 6 weeks after that and I got pregnant a year later with DD (18months).

I had a MMC measuring around 9.5 weeks and I had an ERPC with a GA. I am so glad I did and 100% would again. I knew when it was going to happen and the procedure itself was very simple (for me as I was unconscious). Recovery pretty straight forward with essentially a period. I have had some friends who have had bad experiences with medical management.

Sorry to hear of your loss.

I had a MMC is 2013 and opted for ERPC as DD was 18 months old and I worried about miscarrying with her at home.

I had no complications and in and out in a few hours. Physically fine, mentally it really affected me and I had CBT as a result.

Hope everything worked out for you.

Thanks everyone for al your messages and apologies for making you share those traumatic experiences! But I am very grateful to you all for sharing! I think I am still leaning towards the surgery. I think all of these options are awful and unfortunately I can’t ask anyone to make the decision for me but your experiences have definitely helped. Wishing you all al the very best with your children and any future pregnancies you may have! Xxx

Good Morning everyone! Thanks for sharing. As I’ve been facing irregular periods since coming off the pill last May, I’m just worried about how long it might take for my period to return after D&C? Or does it not matter if you’ve had irregular periods before and period should return between 6-8 weeks after D&C? Any helpful tips/experiences will be appreciated. Thank you 🙏🏽

Morning, I ovulated 8 weeks after my ERPC. We chose not to TTC for a while but my periods returned to how they were beforehand.

@motherrunner many thanks for sharing. If you so r mind me asking - did you have irregular periods before? And how did you know when you ovulated? Did yoU track via ovulation sticks?

I didn’t have regular periods, my cycles could vary between 32-50 days. I used internet cheap ovulation sticks but tested twice a day. I also used cheap pregnancy test sticks after the ERPC to monitor my drop in hormones until I got a negative.

Good luck and all the best. I felt really positive after my ERPC but then once earlier kicked in I felt very down. Make sure you have lots of support and I found the miscarriage boards in here and huge help. There’s also (or was) a TTC after miscarriage thread which was really supportive.