Driving - please be kind

[PymChurchBeach]

I have been learning to drive (in an automatic, had to give up on manual) for over a year. I have taken two tests and failed them both, one due to an emergency stop (not quick enough) and the other due to not overtaking a bus and also for leaving my indicator on (which I have never done once in lessons!).

My lessons stopped due to covid but are about to start again.

But my main problem with driving is something that I feel it is going to be nigh on impossible to overcome. Namely concentration. I am so shit at concentrating. Even when I think I'm being really focussed I get easily distracted and can make stupid mistakes. I am also really dreadful at judging distance - I can't tell when it's safe to overtake. This means that I generally get marked down for not overtaking, because I don't trust myself to judge the distance safely. I don't feel that I can take my eyes off the road for a minute to quickly glance over my shoulder to check.

I feel like there's something wrong with me as everyone else I've spoken to who has struggled with learning to drive has struggled for different reasons - like being crap at parking or not being able to get the hang of roundabouts. I can do all that no bother but my judgment and focus are awful.

How do I get over this? Has anyone else had the same problem? I'm starting to feel I have something wrong with me.

if you can't pay attention when driving, then you really shouldn't be doing it, other people's lives are at stake.

Can't offer suggestions with the spatial awareness thing and overtaking but I wonder if the advanced driver approach may help your concentration? It is basically providing a verbal commentary when driving ie 'the weather is fine so I don't need to allow for extra stopping distance; mirror, signal, pulling out; 30 mph limit, up to 2nd gear etc etc
It sounds tedious but it is basically mindful driving.

I was exactly the same OP and I managed to pass my test on the 4th attempt after making similar stupid mistakes in the other 3. Don't give up! It sounds like you are so close and can pass it next time.
My attention span is also crap so I tend to do an inner monologue of what I can see in the road in front to help me stay focused. I've now been driving almost 3 years and haven't been in any accident (touch wood). It's actually so much easier now that I rarely have to think about it (unless it pouring with rain for example) I think being in your own car with music on etc takes soo much of the pressure off driving and it seems easier. Just focus on passing the test then you can learn at your own pace and get to know driving in a more relaxed way.

My DD1 has dyspraxia.

When she learned to drive she had to be explicitly taught a lot of things that other people find obvious, for example how to follow the bend in the road. It might be that someone needs to teach you the clues other people use to judge these things.

Your concentration is probably poor because you are having to use brain power to focus on things other people do unconsciously.

Hopefully you'll improve with more practice, but you might find it takes you longer to get there.

Have a look at mindfulness training. Kain Ramsay has a very good course - www.udemy.com/course/mindfulness-training-course-online-mindfulness-practitioner/

Surely you're instructor thinks you're test ready if not then have some more lessons and focus on the areas you need to work on.

I think you are possibly ‘over’ concentrating and this is making you lose focus. When you pass and have your own car, driving will become more natural and hopefully, so will concentrating

I don't think my instructor believes me when I say my focus is poor. She thinks I'm just too nervous to overtake. I'm not - I genuinely can't judge the distance.

The reason I stopped with the manual lessons is because I found it utterly impossible to focus on changing gear and clutch control whilst also paying attention to the road.

You need to be able to take over there will be occasions were its unavoidable e.g parked cars this is something you need to work on.

this is something you need to work on.

Yes I know that, it is literally why I have posted.

Sometimes switching instructors can help you overcome a problem. However, if it continues to be a problem (3 instructors later) then you might consider that you are not safe enough to drive.

Have you considered talking to your GP about adult ADD/ADHD?

If you have it, it's not "something to work on", it's your brain's natural state. Which may or may not be modifiable with drugs. Go find out.

I know several people whose lives have been turned around from a mess to normal competence by getting a diagnosis.

I would advise on not putting in you're tests and work on the areas you need working on.

Specifically came up because I read an article earlier in the week about how "concentrating" can make things worse in an ADD brain:
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2894421/

Searching for that found me this first, which seems SUPER RELEVANT! And isn't a neuroscience paper so is entirely readable:
www.additudemag.com/adhd-brain-prefrontal-cortex-attention-emotions/

AllsortsofAwkward

That's what I'm doing!

I have terrible concentration in general but I hold down a good senior level job and have two degrees and an excellent academic record so I can't see any GP ever taking me seriously about ADHD.

I also have excellent time management and don't struggle with deadlines etc.

It took me SEVEN attempts to pass my driving test. I kept failing on stupid things (failed once for undue hesitation on a roundabout so the next time I went for it and was failed for not checking enough)

My instructor thought the problem was my nerves causing me to overthink and panic so he booked me a late PM test slot, he picked me up at 8am and we literally spent the whole day driving the test routes. By the time my test came around I was so so SO fed up of being in the car that I just did it, didn't overthink anything and sailed through with only two minors.

I passed my test aged 40 in 2015 (attempt no. 5). For the first few months of driving alone afterwards, I used the running commentary technique and found it useful. As others have said, just talking yourself through what you're doing and are about to do. Good luck!

I will definitely try the running commentary thing. TBH I wonder if I need to find a new instructor, I do really like mine but she doesn't explain things very clearly - I have told her to explain to me like I'm a complete idiot.

My manual instructor was brilliant - shame she only does manual.

Do you do ok walking fast down a busy street? Do you cycle at all?

I'm just wondering if this is something that's only to do with driving, and if so, could be a psychological thing. Once you've convinced yourself you have a problem like this, it's easy to unwittingly enhance symptoms.

Does driving make you nervous?

How much driving do you actually do? The answer to your problem is lots of practice. If the only driving you do is a hour a week with your instructor, it's going to take quite a bit of time before you become a confident and instinctive driver.
Of course, if you are spending hours driving already, then perhaps it's not for you, but the only thing that gave me confidence when I started was driving a lot and really getting out and about to experience as much as a learner could. And then, when I passed my test, still getting out on my own, even though I was very nervous at first.

What is it you're expected to overtake on your test? stationery cars and stopped buses, but are you talking about cars doing 30 on a dual carriageway? Towns don't give much scope for overtaking and country roads (where I live) are too narrow to overtake safely. Just curious.