How often do you dc lose/break/forget their glasses?

[averysuitablegirl]

And what the beejeezus can you or do you do about it?

Ds just turned 11 was prescribed glasses to wear 'as much as possible' in January. They're to correct a squint rather than to correct long or short sightedness, so he can see what he needs to see without them.

He started off pretty well, but he has often left his glasses at school. Not too much of a problem in primary (and obviously not over lock down), as I can march him back in or go into the next day, but I have no idea how he will manage secondary.

He has also broken 4 pairs of frames by putting them on his bed/chair and then sitting on them. Two of these were this weekend fgs. He's under a specialist optometrist, so it's a long trek to get them mended and it's frankly embarrassing.

Is this within 'normal' range of 11 year olds? And how can I get him to take some responsibility? I know he's not doing this deliberately, but it's driving me potty at the moment.

Not normal at all. I wore glasses from 11 have never lost or broken a pair.
DD has worn them for 4 years, has lost one pair, while jet skiing.
Make sure he gets frames he likes , make sure he wares them at all times.

my dd wasnt as bad as that and she's worn glasses since she was a toddler (now age 16)

DS2 has to get 2 pairs every 6 months or so as he loses them so frequently - we've joked with the optician (as we hand over wads of cash again ) that we really should buy in bulk.

He has ASD though so his executive function is bad and he basically walks through life leaving everything everywhere (and don't even get me started on sports kits...)

Bebanjo he chose his frames and has no problem wearing them. The problem is that he takes them off, puts them down and leaves them or sits on them.

Magic2020 my ds has those tendencies too. He has a visual processing disorder, and has some difficulties organising his thoughts as his brain works much faster than his eyes. He's generally good very good at finding 'work arounds' - he used to wear his PE kit under his uniform so that he didn't have to remember to take his PE bag to school, put it on his peg then remember where it was .

But it is notable that he has never eg left his phone at school. He only got one at the beginning of lock down and despite going in every day since 1 June without a bag or coat or even pockets sometimes, his phone has never been left behind.

So I think it's at least partly not being motivated to keep an eye on them and not actually being bothered if he loses or breaks them as he can still see. It doesn't really inconvenience him.

I'm thinking that I might need to start inconveniencing him by withdrawing his computer privileges if he leaves his glasses at school and doing the same if I see that he has left them on a chair.

I'm not a good role model. I only need glasses for reading and spend a LOT of my life trying to find where I left them out of their case, but do always put them somewhere safe.

I’ve worn glasses since I was 7 and I’ve never broken or forgotten a single pair.

But then I’m very careful with my stuff. I rarely lose anything and I’ve never smashed a phone screen, etc.

I’d find it very frustrating in your shoes! 😬

amusedbush yes I'm also very careful with my things and I am finding it very frustrating!

My DS is 10 and has worn glasses since he was 3. He has broken them a few times by leaving them on the floor and allowing a friend to test their 'flexibility' and has lost them once up a mountain......

I've worn glasses since I was 11 and only broken one pair - and they were sunglasses so less problematic. DS1 is 3, has had them for 4 months and broken one pair already.

DS2 is 10 and has worn glasses since he was about 3. He has near perfect vision in one eye but hardly anything in the other. He was always breaking them, usually as he'd not see a ball or person coming towards him on his poor eyesight side. I think we've only actually lost a pair once but our optician knows us by name and asks what has he done now when he sees us! It has got less frequent as he's got older but he did manage to break them just before lockdown, fortunately we managed to get new frames just in time.
Could you get him to put them in a particular place when he takes them off so he's less likely to put them somewhere he'll sit on them? Or keep a glasses case in his school bag that he needs to put them in?

This was me! I started wearing them aged 7 and until the age of about 12 i lost so so many. I don't know what changed... Possibly the fact that I started wearing them all the time instead of just to look at the whiteboard. Possibly getting in a lot of trouble. My mum treated me to some RayBans that I loved but I still lost them and was very upset. Just get him the cheapest possible?

Dock pocket money.

I’ve worn glasses since I was three and have never broken or lost any. I’ve only had wear and tear cause problems with one or two pairs when I had had them for quite a while. I am quite a pedantic old sod though.

DD1 (now 25) has worn glasses since she was 9 and has also never lost or broken any.

DH, by contrast, is very like your DS. He only began needing glasses for computer and reading as an adult and is chaotic with them. He has multiple pairs because he is always leaving some somewhere. Most are wonky too because he stuffs them into his trouser pockets without using the case. They then get scratched and sat on. He never cleans them either so they are opaque and I really can’t understand how he can apparently see through them at all.

it is notable that he has never eg left his phone at school

If he can look after his phone he can look after glasses. Perhaps you could link them in some way?

When my eldest was very small we went through several sets of frames rapidly as he was getting used to looking after them. Then his specialist recommended Flexon frames which are not cheap but were practically indestructable. Flexons saw him through to adulthood without another breakage!

He was generally pretty careful with them before he left primary but he did wear them all the time which might actually be easier to manage.

My Dc with ADHD used to get through about a pair a month. Either lost or broken. I hate it when I see people say “dock pocket money”.
Walk a mile in the shoes of somebody with Attention Deficit and see what it feels like. My DC has got a bit better as he’s got older but not much. It is immensely frustrating but you’re not alone OP.

My dd has never lost or broken hers in 4 years. Mine have broken through wear and tear once in 5 years.

Thanks all.

I've apologetically emailed the opticians and did ask whether they had some more robust frames.

The breakages have all been the metal on the right hinge. It's a pain, as it's only a bit of metal, but it breaks around the pin, so can't be repaired. At the very beginning of lock down, the pin broke which I could repair with a paper clip (thanks youtube) which lasted over 2 months before he sat on them and broke the whole hinge.

A frame snapped in the hands of the person fitting the lenses once. We just went for the cheapest NHS frames but I'm wondering if it's worth investing in something more robust, then we'll just have the losing them problem to deal with and more ££££.

EpicDay yes I know what you mean about punishing children for something they can't help. Ds doesn't have ADHD but does have a processing disorder, but I don't think it's solely that.

He doesn't get pocket money per se yet and although I did mention taking the money to buy new frames from his birthday money, it's a bit abstract as it's on a card.

I think setting up a system that he loses x amount of screen time every time I see his glasses on a chair/bed/floor might be worth trying. I don't want to follow him around micro managing his behaviour but maybe it'll be worth it in the long run.

Thanks all. His sister is most definitely the sort of child that would never lose a pair of glasses/school jumper/pe kit. She is equally bemused by it.

My son is six, he’s had glasses since he was 3 and of I’m honest I’ve lost count of the number of pairs he’s broken or lost.. mostly due to throwing them every time he has a tantrum/ melt down which tbh happens daily. (we are currently questioning as to whether he may have Autism or mild learning difficulties But that’s been delayed due to covid)

Does he have a case for them? Would he put them straight in a hard case?
Or stop taking them off??

No, I wore glasses from the age of 7 and I think I've only ever broken one pair. I'm 38 now. I loved wearing glasses do I made very sure I liked after them.

I've also never amazed a phone screen either!

Smashed

Wolfie yes he does have a case and I haven't been great at getting him to put them straight into it. I leave mine lying around the house (but not on the floor!) so I don't think I've set a great example.

When he first got them, I got him to wear them to school so that he wouldn't forget to put them on, so he never got into the habit of getting his case out of his bag, taking his glasses out etc.

At school, he takes them off to play football/do PE and just leaves them under a bush/by the goal etc. In an Ideal World, he would consider the fact that he is going to play football/do PE before he went outside and leave them in a hard case on his desk.

He's not taking the case to school at the moment, as the school have said no bags, but I do need to work on this for September (or whenever Y7 go back!).

The breakages have all been the metal on the right hinge

Is he right handed? Taking them off one handed instead of two handed can create a weak spot on the right hinge, especially in cheaper frames. Would he remember to take them off two handed?

Honestly we started with the cheapest frames as he was still growing and I thought it made sense but children's heads don't grow as fast as the rest of them and we didn't need to replace them for size as often as I expected. if you can afford Flexons or similar unbreakables it may be worth it, it definitely was for us.

My 7 year old breaks hers maybe 2 times per year but it’s usually an accident eg was on trampoline with them (not allowed anymore).

She never loses them because she can’t be without them now.