Feeling really disheartened about online dating

[thefourgp]

I know it’s only been a few weeks but I’ve not been contacted by one guy I’m interested in. The majority of them just say ‘hi’ which I know they’re probably doing to most of the women on there without reading their profiles.

I don’t have ridiculously high standards. I’m looking for someone who can drive, has his own home and doesn’t smoke. I’m not looking for a one night stand or marriage. I just want someone to enjoy time with and see where it goes. I’m average looking but scrub up okay and hoping for someone else the same.

I contacted one guy I was interested in, we flirted for a week and made plans to meet up then he cancelled because he’d started seeing someone else.

I only have two single friends and they both gave up on online dating after six months and have resigned themselves to being single forever. I’ve been using plenty of fish because I heard there’s more people on there. Someone suggested eharmony but others have said it’s not worth the money. How long did you use online dating for before meeting anyone?

I used Bumble. Was on there for about a week and have met someone things seem to be going well with.

I went on for a distraction after ending things with on/off ex not really expecting to meet anyone. Was about to delete the app and thought I’d just reply to a last message... we started talking just before lockdown was announced so have spent a few months texting/talking and have met up a few times since the rules were relaxed.

I liked Bumble because women have to send the first message so you can filter out a lot of people you aren’t interested in/ don’t find attractive.

There’s also an online dating thread in the relationship board which might help with more ideas.

Thanks, I’ve had a look on bumble and there seems more nice men on there. X

I was on Plenty of Fish, which was full of creeps. I then paid to join Match and all the same creeps were on there too 😂

I was on the site for about three months when I met my now-DH but we didn’t actually meet up then. Our contact fizzled out and I met someone else, and we dated for a few months. When we broke up DH and I started talking again via facebook and we’ve been together for eight years now.

There were a lot of creepy, sexual messages sent to me before that though, and a fair few bad dates. One was so terrible I pretended my flat mate had been locked out and I needed to leave and let her in

I find it dire and most of the men are there are boring and/or have issues. As a single mum with little time and a very female focused job online dating is all I can do but I've resigned myself to being alone

I have been trying some online dating recently, and it has truly been dire. I don't think I'm being unrealistic, I just would like to meet someone kind and with whom I could go out to places and have a bit of a laugh.
I guess I knew that there were awful men out there, but I didn't imagine that I would end up going on dates with them all Wouldn't you think that by the law of averages I would come across just one who was fairly normal/average?
It's a good job that I'm actually quite ok about being alone, because all of the ones I have met so far have been absolutely revolting, all in their own special way.

I was OD for two years. Lots of silliness. I joined Match.com, and it was frankly a waste of money. Had a weird system of suggesting people were interested in you, who plainly weren't. Men quite obviously forgot what they had said the first time they contacted you... Many of them did me the favour of weeding themselves out. Pics taken in obviously lady occupied bedrooms, wedding rings, strange times of contacting etc. I only actually met one bloke in all the time I did OD. Reader, I married him. Sometimes I had to give it a rest as I was so naffed off with it all, but it's just a numbers game really. I used UKdating, if its still around.

My friend met her husband through online dating. She was on a coupe of sites and got a lot of creepy messages. Eventually she decided to initiate contact with lots of blokes she thought seemed nice rather than wait to be contacted.

I feel you, OLD in lockdown with a just turned two year old to consider is ridiculous. I've resigned myself to not meeting anyone through work as my job is in a female dominated sector. Once my subscription to match runs out in September I won't be renewing it

And have hope! I was 50 and a bit fat, but so's he. But lovely

It’s absolutely awful. I’m 32 and really worrying about never meeting anyone, or if I do being too old for a family.

Match is crap. I thought I would be better paying but all the same men were on Tinder/ Bumble.

I liked Bumble better than Tinder but still no luck.

I do reckon that a lot of people won’t be dating just now. I’m not taking the chanve atm. Maybe next year 😿

*chance

Teddybeans you sound just like me I met one guy who was.a friend of a friend. We had sex and I was never contacted again. Maybe I should resign myself to getting my needs met once in a while and concentrate on motherhood instead.

I'm coming to terms with the fact no one wants a single mum

I met my husband on POF after 3 weeks. Had a few dates in that time. I contacted him. I automatically discounted anyone who just wrote 'hi.'

@EstherLittle This is going to sound a bit pathetic but I really hoped someone I liked would contact me first. @MalamuteLover that’s another concern, I have two young kids who barely ever see their dad. How do people find the time to date and develop a relationship when you have so little time to yourself?

@BarbedBloom most of the guys who contacted me have just put Hi which I’ve never replied to.

I met DH on POF and we've been together 8 years and have two children now. So it can work!
At various times I considered coming off it but then I asked myself where else I was going to meet someone (don't like dating colleagues/ have female hobbies).
Took me about 18m to meet DH. It's a numbers game. Don't get overly attached to anyone before meeting; don't chat for too long before arranging a date (harder during lockdown admittedly); be proactive - don't wait around for someone to message you if you're interested. And don't worry about chatting to lots of people at the same time, it just increases your odds (though save the conversations to refer back to so you don't get them mixed up).
It's hell, but if you put in the work then it can be worth it

My story not give you hope OP? 😁

I met my now fiancé 3.5 years ago on OLD. My boys were 7 and 9 at the time, he didn't have any children of his own. We now have a four week-old baby daughter together No more now though - I turn 40 this year!

I tried E Harmony. Their supposed scientific matching process. Is absolute crap. Non of my matches had any thing in common. The men on it were odd. I've also tired Catholic Match as I'm practicing Catholic, but it seems to think Ireland is within 50 miles of where I live.

I met DH on Match 8 or so years ago when I was 30, two kids later and very happy. I’d been OLD on and off for a few years before but only met up with a few people over that time. It absolutely can work, but you do need a thick skin at times!

Joined Match, first day I found my DH. Well worth the money.

I met my husband on POF, I'd been on and off for 3 years, had a 2 years relationship with someone I met online, we split up so i went back on and my DH was the first person to message me. Incredibly happy 7 years later.

I didnt respond to any 'Hi' or generic messages.

Good luck!

@SpongeBobJudgeyPants You’re story does give me hope. Especially as I’m a bit fatter than I was when I last dared 15 years ago. I’ve bitten the bullet and messaged six guys who seem nice and don’t live more than thirty miles away. I know not to take it too seriously. Tbh it hasn’t bothered me for a long time but I’m really starting to miss sex as well as companionship. Lol.

Dared dated bloody autocorrect