I'm such an idiot aka tell me your baking fails

[QuestionableMouse]

Sister asked if I'd bake her a corned beef and onion pie. (Their oven is currently sitting in their garage due to a kitchen remodel)

My first mistake was saying yes in this heat 😂😂😂😩😩😩

Clearing down, pies baking in the oven. All. Good until. I moved the flour container and found the bastard onion. I totally forgot about it 😂😂😂😩😩😩

Oops. I'm sure it'll still taste good but it's a pretty key ingredient in a corned beef and onion pie 😂😂😂

and I won't mention the time I made lemon curd only to discover the lemon juice still sitting in the jug on the side. No wonder the damn stuff tasted mostly of egg

Is your sister always so cheeky??

You're definitely nuts agreeing to do it in this heat!!

Today is National Cream Tea Day, but I'll have mine another day, the oven is not going on for anything or anyone!!

I'm vegetarian now, but we used to have (tinned) corned beef & potato plate pies...yum. Corned beef & onion sounds odd - what else goes in it?! (Apart from onion -dufus!!).

I wonder if she'll notice? If she does tell her to just have some pickle with it!!

Proudly put my first ever quiche in the oven. Turned around to see the three eggs still sat on the worktop.

I can't get over the fact she asked you to bake in this heat. I would have told her to order a pizza like a normal person.

I'm generally a good baker flavour/texture wise but piping buttercream always defeats me, all my cakes are topped with whipped cream and fruit or chocolate ganache instead.

I just want to make a pink/blue/rainbow cake with swirly bits

7 years ago I made a birthday cake for DDs second birthday. First time I ever tried to make figures from fondant. It was barely recognisable as the character it was supposed to be.

I've made many birthday cakes since then. Every time multiple friends and family take one look and say 'a lot better than Iggle Piggle!'

@Aquamarine1029

I can't get over the fact she asked you to bake in this heat. I would have told her to order a pizza like a normal person.

To be fair to her, both her and her partner work bloody long shifts and currently don't have a functioning kitchen... And I could have said no 😂

Corned beef and onion is potatoes (mashed, corned beef 😂 and finely sliced onion. It's really tasty.)

Have left over pastry so I'm now making a egg and bacon pie.

My first attempt at bread...it came out pretty much the exact size and weight of a house brick! I've tried a few more times since, never really mastered it but the first loaf was by far the worst.

Rice pudding. Doubled the quantity of the ingredients... except the rice... slop!

But at least it WOULD have been perfect with the onion. I can just about manage a banana bread and only because I always leave bananas to go brown. I did make a cracking banana bread last night though.

Dh does our shopping and I was going to make salmon fish cakes. Ingredients list demanded water cress.
Came to make them and asked dh about the watercress.
He opened the fridge and handed me salad cress..
Apparently how was he supposed to know there were 2 types of cress..
Interesting fish cakes..

I spent ages preparing vegetables and roasted bones for stock - then promptly strained it over the sink and stood horrified as all my lovely stock disappeared down the plug hole ...

I forgot to add the eggs to the batter when I was making toad in the hole. Quite surprised to take it out of the oven and find I’d basically made sausages in hot wallpaper paste!

I decided to make a Thai red curry the first time I cooked for my now dh. My supermarket was out of the curry paste I usually use so I popped to the local Asian shop and bought a large pot of red curry paste.

Added a spoonful of the paste but the curry didn't look red enough so added another spoonful. It still looked anaemic so I just added more. And more. And more.

I somehow turned the rice into a soupy consistency, and served it with the spiciest curry ever made in the entire world. After my first mouthful sweat started pouring out of me. I told him not to even try it but he battled through this meal and somehow cleared his plate of ricey gloop and nuclear curry.

I tried to make a Mary Berry meringue roulade thing. To this day I don’t know what I did wrong, but scrambled egg with cream and strawberries isn’t a dish I’d recommend to anyone.

These are making me feel better 😂😂

Glad it's not just me who has idiot moments. 😂😂

New oven. Grilled muffins. Cooked on top, soggy on bottom.

OP what proportion of corned beef/potato/onion do you use?
I want to try and make some like my mums and I think I've found the pastry recipe she used but don't know how much of the other ingredients to try.
And those that use plates for them is there a specific type of plate to use or avoid?

I make my corned beef and potato pie without onion as my DS hates onions.

Let them put pickled onions on the pie if they're desperate.

I once made a rum and pineapple cake. I put it in the oven and then found the pineapple, still sitting in a bowl on the worktop.

We had rum cake with pineapple 'salad' for pudding...

I made Christmas pudding with my toddler helping. I rushed the end ingredients as he was eating the mixture and it had plenty of alcohol.
Roll on Christmas day and I served it proudly but it tasted strange. I had forgotten the sugar.
My ever practical parents sprinkled sugar over the top and carried on.

I set the oven on fire baking egg McMuffins

Genuinely, on fire. Flames filled the entire oven

I still have no idea what I did wrong, I'm usually a decent cook

I’m normally an ok baker as long as it’s fairly basic - lemon drizzle, Victoria sponge., chocolate cake etc.
Decided to use up some rhubarb in a rhubarb and ginger cake for when DD2 brought the new BF to visit. It was as dry as a bone and horrible. He manfully ate two slices and pronounced it delicious. (He’s a keeper).
I rectified my reputation last week with a light as air lemon cake and the relief on his face was a picture!!!

I made carrot cake once and forgot the carrots.

I wondered why it tasted disgusting.

I once made shortbread with salt instead of caster sugar. It was disgusting. Don't know how I didn't notice while making it

I made lemon drizzle cake a few months ago, it was only when it had a few minutes left in the oven that I realised I hadn’t actually put any lemon in it, so it was just a plain cake..

Also the other day I made a cake, 2 eggs must of rolled behind the bag of flour, didn’t notice I hadn’t put them in until it was cooked and I was then clearing away!