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Original poster

Anyone not been married or engaged?

49 replies

rodentfeet · 25/06/2020 21:04

So i am just wondering because everyone i meet and see online and off seem to be engaged or been engaged or married or been married, has anyone NOT been married yet or never been engaged ?

how do you feel about it, does it make you feel uncomfortable or different? do you feel like muriel and want to pretend your getting married just to try on some wedding dresses because that may be your only chance to experience that? does it bother you to have never had that opportunity or have you just accepted that just may never happen??

OP posts:
Original poster
rodentfeet · 25/06/2020 21:19

anyone?

OP posts:
Nellydean21 · 25/06/2020 21:21

I've never been either. Thankfully. For me neither matter, been on long term relationships, been single, it would never occur to me to be bothered by none rings.

Nellydean21 · 25/06/2020 21:22

Trying on weddings dresses! Why?

pistolknight · 25/06/2020 21:22

Doesn't bother me, why would it Confused Ltr kids, wills and finances sorted, don't need a ring.

itsureis · 25/06/2020 21:26

I'm 48 and I've never been married ...
I did get engaged once, for all the wrong reasons, it didn't last long and I don't think I even wore the ring !

I will try on dresses - I've already told my daughter that one day we will go and just pretend 😬

Would I like to be married ?? Maybe but how do you know they are the one 🤷‍♀️

amber763 · 25/06/2020 21:30

Me!! Honestly my whole life nothing has filled me with horror more than the thought of a wedding. I was asked in my 20s and said no (we split not long after which i was gutted about but i didnt feel ready then and I'm so glad i made that choice). The money my friends spent on their weddings always seemed insane to me too. Plus I'm sure I've saved myself a load of heartache because all but one of my group of childhood friends are now divorced. Some more than once (late 30s). Sure break ups are always hard but divorces just drag on so long and can be so messy. Been in a long term relationship now for years where we both still have our own places, spend time together when we want and I love that part of the week at least its just me and my dog. Absolutely don't feel like I've missed out on anything and like my life just how it is!

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 25/06/2020 21:30

I've never been engaged or married, never been in a long term relationship or lived with a partner either!

Ah well, I'm independent and happy, it doesn't bother me.

Original poster
rodentfeet · 25/06/2020 21:33

I realise im quite old fashioned but i watch programmes like say yes to the dress, and fairytale weddings, even dont tell the bride and its all so beautiful.. seeing peoples gorgeous engagement rings. i love the whole idea

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Crunchymum · 25/06/2020 21:33

Never been married, or engaged. Been with DP for 13 years and have a house, a cat and 3 children (they came in that order Grin)

No intentions or aspirations to get married!!

BullshitVivienne · 25/06/2020 21:35

Me, and I'm very clear that I don't want to get married. I'm not an introvert but I don't think I'd enjoy a wedding.

draughtycatflap · 25/06/2020 21:35

You’re terrible Muriel...

ScottishStottie · 25/06/2020 21:37

I was engaged when i was much younger and dafter but i dont think it counts as we were both so young, it was like we were just playing at being engaged. Never seriously planned a wedding (long engagement as we were both at uni) and then we fell out of love and it ended. Never tried on a dress.

SayakaMurata · 25/06/2020 21:38

I'm 45. I've never been engaged or married, and have definitely never tried on a wedding dress, never felt the need to!

I've lived with my lovely partner for 8 years and have never even thought about marriage.

user12699422578 · 25/06/2020 21:42

i love the whole idea

Of a big party centred on you, or a marriage?

RosyfingeredDawn · 25/06/2020 21:43

I'm 50, never been married, never been asked. I've been with my partner for 25 years this year and have no urge to get married. If I ever did it would definitely be a two witnesses registry office affair.

megletthesecond · 25/06/2020 21:44

Me. I'm 46.

Original poster
rodentfeet · 25/06/2020 21:45

I think i need to invent a whole new mindset about marriage..you wont believe it but ive organised the venue, music, catering food everything, i started planning years ago (in my mind) but that would require meeting the right person first unless i married myself lol, i need to get these ideas out my mind because they clearly are not going to happen...

OP posts:
Nellydean21 · 25/06/2020 21:50

You want a party not a marriage. Use all the planning and have a big fuck off birthday party. Get all the presents, the joy. And no lifetime of legal obligations after! Or if you want you can marry yourself!

Original poster
rodentfeet · 25/06/2020 21:55

no its not just about the party.. its about the commitment and actual marriage, but being old fashioned i just thought it was the norm for women to do this.. i thought that was the order life went in growing up.... obviously life has changed alot since i was younger but yes there is more to it, a deeper meaning to getting married for me than just a party

OP posts:
acatcalledjohn · 25/06/2020 21:57

34 and never been engaged nor married.

I'm not desperate for it either. If we ever do get married it will be more of a low key party with good food and good booze, rather than a big white wedding with sit down meal etc. Not our style at all.

Original poster
rodentfeet · 25/06/2020 22:01

my wedding food would be an all you can eat chinese buffet Grin

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Lottapianos · 25/06/2020 22:01

Been together 15 years, not married. Will probably have a very quiet civil partnership in the next year or so. Couldnt cope with a wedding as both hate being centre of attention, and everything about 'getting engaged' gives me the icks, so no thanks

PacificState · 25/06/2020 22:07

Never been either engaged or married. Been asked a few times but the idea always filled me with genuine panic. One of the few recurring nightmares I have is of walking down an aisle and realising the man I'm about to marry is someone I absolutely don't want to be with. I think I'm a massive commitment-phobe. Don't really know why because my parents' marriage was very happy.

Like others have said I can't bear the idea of being a bride in a traditional wedding scenario either. I don't even do birthday parties (for me) so a wedding is my idea of hell.

Also if I'm completely honest there's a rather tragic element of 'being single is cooler' for me, I quite like not doing what most other people do. Which is fine when you're 30 but I know I should have grown out of it given that I'm pushing 50... it's one small bit of my life where I'm a bit of a rebel despite being massively conventional in almost all other ways.

eyebrowshame · 25/06/2020 22:10

Up until last year I hadn't been either. Late 50s, been with partner nearly 40 years. Never been one to dream of weddings, had cast iron wills, shared property, kids. We then decided at one week's notice to get married in New York last year, just us and the (grown up) kids. I'm happy we did it, but I don't feel I'd missed out before that.

Nellydean21 · 25/06/2020 22:11

But being single is very cool at 50. I find nothing sad about it, I'm aghast looking at peers stuck with men or women they've outgrown. Dealing with difficult teenagers. The older I get, the happier I am being single. Being the architect of my everyday.

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