Do your children have to ask for a drink?

[ohoneohtwo]

Just musing really. I was having a bath earlier and the neighbours were in their garden. One of the kids asked if she could have a drink. She is 11.

I always provided mine with a drink until they were able to get their own independently, I'm guessing roughly 5 yo. They don't have to ask though. It never crossed don't mind to restrict drinks.

No but they are only allowed water from the fridge dispenser , they have milk morning and evening.

When we moved and the DCs were aged 2, 4 and 7, one of my first priorities was to remodel the kitchen so that we could fit in an American style fridge with water dispenser I put plastic cups in the cupboard next to it and then even the toddler could get herself a drink of water.

I decided against the optics of squash purely because I could imagine the sticky drips underneath them. But it was a consideration for a while.

I’ve always tried to get them to be as independent as possible at an early age, dressing themselves, getting their own breakfast cereal etc. Never had a big milk spill or anyone taking the piss with a huge bowlful!

I agree with other pps, sounds to me like she was asking someone else to get her a drink.

@VenusTiger

I agree with other pps, sounds to me like she was asking someone else to get her a drink.

She definitely wasn’t. I did clarify that up thread, she asked if she could go and get a drink.

So overall I actually think DC having to ask permission to do things is a good thing- it reminds them who's in charge and stops them getting ideas above their station. All of my non-adult DC (11-16) have to ask to watch TV, go on their phones, go out, make a cup of tea etc.

They can have water or milk without asking, though and I think it is important to increase privileges with age so DS2 (16) is allowed to make himself a cup of tea or a sandwich or whatever.

There's probably a reason you don't know of then, I can't imagine anyone refusing their child a drink.

No, but she goes through phases of asking even when she knows it's fine (eg., water) or not asking even when she know she's not allowed unlimited amounts (eg., juice). She will also ask when she can't reach something/it's too heavy, so she will turn that into an excuse if she's feeling disinclined to do it for herself.

In principle I've no issue with her getting her own drinks - seems odd to make a child ask unless it's something very fancy.

So overall I actually think DC having to ask permission to do things is a good thing- it reminds them who's in charge and stops them getting ideas above their station.

There's probably a reason you don't know of then, I can't imagine anyone refusing their child a drink.

I wasn't really looking for a reason. I was just musing over how different people are. There was another judgement involved.

So overall I actually think DC having to ask permission to do things is a good thing- it reminds them who's in charge and stops them getting ideas above their station. All of my non-adult DC (11-16) have to ask to watch TV, go on their phones, go out, make a cup of tea etc.

Trying to work out if this is a joke or if you actually mean it

There was NO judgement involved

I think it is important to increase privileges with age so DS2 (16) is allowed to make himself a cup of tea or a sandwich or whatever

Is this real?

Water freely available from the tap. Soft drinks were rationed, partly for financial reasons, partly for health reasons. We ran to a tight budget in those days.

This was the same when I grew up, for the same reason. Basically, soft drinks were served with tea or at picnics and in limited amounts, in between meals you drank water.

@BostonCheers Jesus

Mine get their own. Usually water as the fridge has a filtered cold dispenser thingy, or milk. but if they want a treat drink like lemonade or sometimes Coca Cola they ask.

Maybe there have been loads of spillages.

Maybe she has spatial awareness issues.

Maybe someone had left something soaking in the sink and she wasn't sure whether it was a good idea to turn the tap on.

Maybe the floor had just been mopped and was still drying.

Maybe there were no cups washed up.

Maybe all the cups were in the dishwasher and they've been told not to touch it.

Maybe they've got a cool drink dispenser in the fridge or on the side and they've been told to ask so they don't make a mess.

Maybe she has form for leaving the tap running.

Maybe their parents always had to ask and is just normal for them?

If you're itching to know, OP, just ask them.

DD is 4 and she doesn't ask.

I do have an under counter fridge especially for drinks though; all she has to do is go to the fridge and pick out what she wants.
I do a Costco run once a month

Water no - we keep bottles of cold water in the fridge at their height and they help themselves if they're thirsty. Any other drink I would expect them to ask as would limit.

My 11 year old will still say to me ‘can I have a drink’ I’m like fill your boots hen you know where the tap is 😂

@Love51

Those of us who made effective use of lockdown now ask our kids when WE want a drink. 8 year old makes a mean cuppa tea, but doesn't drink it herself.

Curses! Another missed opportunity!

If you're itching to know, OP, just ask them.

I'm not. I have been quite clear I was just musing. I have even stated I didnt want to know the reason she asked nor was I making any judgement. Please don't try and turn a relatively simple and boring thread into something it isn't with all your 'maybe this', 'maybe that'.

Please don't try and turn a relatively simple and boring thread into something it isn't with all your 'maybe this', 'maybe that'.

My point was that there might be reasons for having them ask that have nothing to do with restricting their drinks (which makes it sound like a control thing), and also that the question could have come from some hesitancy on the child's part.

You said it had never occurred to you to restrict drinks, so I (evidently wrongly!) misinterpreted your reason for asking on MN as wanting to consider a frame of reference that extends beyond your own personal experience.

For the record, two of my DCs ask but I encourage them not to, and the other is supposed to ask and doesn't.

Apologies for sullying your simple and boring thread, OP.

Mine will ask for a drink - doesn’t mean I’m restricting drinks though!!

If it was fizzy then my 14 & 12 yo would still ask. Anything else they would make themselves.

Restrict was probably a bad choice. I actually wrote the last part 3 times though but 'it never crossed my mind to make my kids ask' sounded harsh and judgy so I changed it to restrict.

I tried so hard not to make this sound as if i was judging them. I really am not. I was just thinking on how different people are in raising their children.

I genuinely don't think there is anything wrong with having to ask. It just didn't occur to me to implement that in my house.