Would it be weird to go on holiday without my DH?

[lilkitten]

My DH has always hated holidays, even day trips. We had a weekend away last year with the kids, which seemed to only cause stress and arguments between us (couldn't find the hotel, getting lost on the way, trying to find the restaurant etc). He said he never wants to go on holiday again. I left it, but we had a day trip last week to a National Trust property, and even that caused arguments.
We get on brilliantly, except for this one area. He would be happy to stay at home forever, but I don't want to give up on holidays. Would it be weird if I did family holidays without him? Or would that signify that there's something wrong with our relationship?
I suffer from anxiety and I can't even consider going away with friends or family, I'd feel like I'm on edge and having to perform the whole time, so it would have to be me and the two kids if I ever want another holiday.

No it wouldn't. Have fun!

No, do what you like

I’ve done it loads as DH has less holiday.
I’ve also been away with friends.
His choice - he’s the same and it’s annoying.

I do that! It's fine! It works for us and I am not interested in how anyone else may see our private plans as 'signifying' anything!

Absolutely you should go! Don't let that miserable fucker hold you back (I'm sorry, but I find being a "homebody" to be one of the most unattractive traits a man can have.)

Also I would suggest with kindness that you seek help for your anxiety if that means you "can't even consider" going away with other people. There is help out there! The world is such an amazing place, see as much of it as you want to!

No. Enjoy 😊

I've done DH-free holidays before. There was somewhere I really wanted to go which he want bothered about so it made sense. In your position I'd definitely do it!

My DH used to do a lot of long haul flying with work and now he's retired he refuses to go abroad, never wants to see the inside of an airport again. I now travel with my son, we've had two trips to the USA and one to Italy so far and are thinking wistfully of the Greek islands, maybe next year. It works well and everyone's happy.

Definitely go on your own. I’ve done it loads of times, sometimes with the dc sometimes with friends and sometimes completely by myself. Just because your dh does want to go it shouldn’t stop you. Mine is getting worse with age!

If your anxiety is so bad you couldn't go away with family, is this part of what causes arguments with the DH? I'm not blaming you, I'm just picking up your point about you feeling like your feeling like you need to perform the whole time and wondering if that throws yours usual good relationship out of sync.

I think the recommendation to look into therapy is a good one.

If you and DH are happy, and you think you can handle it, go for it.

My DH has had a bit of a weird three or four years when he's been job-hopping which means he hasn't ever really had holidays to take at the right time, so DS and I have holidayed together a lot. We love it and we've been able to do things like Eurorailing much more cheaply because we've only had to pay for one standard hotel room, as opposed to a family room etc.

That said, it's hardly new for me as I go away with friends and to see friends all the time! I'd suggest you try to find treatment for your anxiety though. You don't say how old your DCs are but going away with two tiny people for eg is a bit of a grind on your own if that's the only break you're getting.

And that said that said...he can't even manage a day trip? C'mon OP. Sack him off.

Definitely go. He gets time on this own and you get a holiday. Perfect.
I used to go on holiday with a friend when my son was small and leave DH at home alone. neither of us ever thought anything of it. I had a great time and he had undisputed control of the tv remote control! It suited both of us perfectly.

Have a fabulous trip!

Now that DC are a bit older I am actively looking forward to trips with just them and me. And dh is planning his own with him. I am looking forward to just mummy and DC time and am also looking forward to home alone time when dh takes them. I want to take them on city breaks. Dh is planning adventures!

Yes, definitely do it. Your kids deserve to have holidays, apart from you needing them! It doesn't sound like your husband is likely to argue about it too much, but if he does then use the kids as your main argument. They need to do normal kids things and to have holidays just as their friends do.

There’s nothing wrong with my marriage, but we quite often go away separately — DH likes skiing, which bores me senseless, so he and DS go skiing, and I do the kind of art-heavy holiday that’s best done solo — though we go away all together too.

I would.

We've done that in the past, my husband has been skiing and I've gone away with my mum and kids, although we've still had a family holiday together as well.

I'd go without him.
Seriously, and have done several times over the years.
As much as I would like him to come away with us all, he's always seemed to hate holidays so we just go without him now.
Let him do what he likes at home, we're off, though, see ya
Have fun!! You'll miss out on so much if you wait around for others to go with you.

DH takes DS skiing without me every year. He loves the time just them.

No. Get booking. I have a friend whose husband wouldn't fly. They went to the same resort every year. She went by air with the children, he travelled by rail. For some reason, she took all the clothes and he took all the shoes. Not sure why.
Do what works for you. I bet it will only happen once anyway. You will have a great time. He won't and he'll want to come with you next time!

I’ve had to do this for the last 16 years because dh “doesn’t like holidays”. Except he does because he goes away with mates, he doesn’t like family holidays. So while I don’t think it’s weird I will warn you for me it’s caused a lot of resentment which gets worse every year. As I said to him 15 years ago family holidays with small dc aren’t exactly always loads of fun but it’s nice for the kids.

Anyway do it. I’ve had some great holidays without him. From camping in the uk to going to the Caribbean for 2 weeks. I’ve sorted everything out myself, hired cars, done the driving, etc. It’s got better as Dd got older, when she was younger it could be a bit lonely/boring at times if she was in the pool playing all day. Take a good book!

Definitely go on your own OP!

My DH isn’t quite that bad but he can be a pain in the arse too, he works hard on shifts (we both work FT) and I appreciate he wants his downtime (as we all do) but sometimes all he seems to want is to stay at home and watch TV, I’ve now started planning things for myself & DC and if he comes he comes, if not we do and have a fab time

Go away with your DC OP, you’ll get your holiday and some lovely memories with DC and he might realise what he’s missing out on

My DD and I always have a trip away every summer without DH. If DH is happy with this option then I would go for it.

Definitely go without him,sounds like you would have a happier holiday

My dad was like this. He actually used to take calms on the day we went anywhere them argued and stomped her way around every where.

I’ve been away without girls a few times. Especially in the summer holidays when ex was working. We split up this year so planning on taking the kids abroad on my own when we can