Would it be weird to go on holiday without my DH?

[lilkitten]

My DH has always hated holidays, even day trips. We had a weekend away last year with the kids, which seemed to only cause stress and arguments between us (couldn't find the hotel, getting lost on the way, trying to find the restaurant etc). He said he never wants to go on holiday again. I left it, but we had a day trip last week to a National Trust property, and even that caused arguments.
We get on brilliantly, except for this one area. He would be happy to stay at home forever, but I don't want to give up on holidays. Would it be weird if I did family holidays without him? Or would that signify that there's something wrong with our relationship?
I suffer from anxiety and I can't even consider going away with friends or family, I'd feel like I'm on edge and having to perform the whole time, so it would have to be me and the two kids if I ever want another holiday.

Of course not . I go on trips without my partner commonly a conference with a bit of free time / sightseeing added on . Also go on adventure trips/ hikes from time to time on organised trips with strangers or my DD as it’s not really his thing - he has no issue with this .

Go on do it! We’ve had separate holidays and I loved it. - it was more by accident than design as he refused to holiday so I could see a friend I hadn’t seen in decades.
I did a hotel for three days and it was blissful. Made me realise our ideas of holiday are very very different.
Really not looking forward to this years caravan holiday. In fact I’d rather not go!

No, people like different things.

Go for it.

Do it. I take my dd away sometimes, just the two of us and I love it. So does my dh.

My dh is exactly the same and I do day trips and holidays without him.
I’ve always been one for going out and about and I didn’t realise what an issue it was until I started missing out on things because often dh would pull out Or end up arguing about something and having a rubbish day if I went mad and said he wasn’t to pull out this time.
After a few years of me not even considering him in our plans any more, he started to change.
He now wants to come along and even organised trips and we have good time.
Just do it. No reason at all for you and Dcs to miss out.

No, dh and I both go away without the other. To be fair, it's mostly to leave the other one with the dc. I take at least one holiday abroad without any of them every year! But yes, I also do usually take another holiday and take one of the dc with me (older one, younger one doesn't care). It's great. It's weird he isn't willing to make the most of it for you all to have a nice time, but honestly family holidays aren't necessarily enjoyable. Just make sure if you do a week with the kids while he is relaxing at home, that you also get equal child-free time to relax yourself.

Not at all! If he doesn't want to go there's no reason that you shouldn't. A friend of mine's DH works a job that means he can't take leave at certain times of year and she takes her DC away for half-term on her own or with other family/friends. If he's happy for you to go without him then go!

I usually take DC away for a week in the October half term without DH as we try and split annual leave over school holidays. We always have a great time.

Yes go, I go on my own sometimes and it's really lovely to go at your own pace, do your own thing

DH is awful on holidays. I have a dh problem rather than a holiday problem. Days out are similar.

He works away from home during the week, and isn't hands on at the weekends. Holidays just highlight how might he isn't a day to day part of the family.

He is not coming with us on our trips next year.

Absolutely go without him and have yourself a stress-free time. No-one will bat an eyelid.

My xH never came with me and our DD in the whole 14 years we've been together. In fact I find it weird now having to factor in my boyfriend into our holidays as the concept of going away together is totally alien to me.

Thanks everyone, I think that's settled, I should make some plans :-)
Yeah, my anxiety has been a problem for a few years, I've had lots of CBT and talking therapies, and on a high dose of medication, but it can still be a struggle sometimes. I agree that I probably do add to his stress as it's a two-way thing. My kids are 9 & 6, and I did take the 9yo away overnight last year for a lovely bonding trip. It's possible they might even behave better if the two of us aren't stressed.

I would go for it, but if you live in a gossipy street/area, be prepared for tongues wagging.

@AdoptedBumpkin

I would go for it, but if you live in a gossipy street/area, be prepared for tongues wagging.

That's a stupid comment. Why would tongues wag? Theres nothing wrong with it at all as numerous people have said. Your comment will probably make the OP,s anxiety worse! Not very helpful....

Apologies, wasn't fully thinking. It does happen, but at the end of the day nobody should worry too much about the neighbours.

Not weird at all. Go and enjoy!

Go for it. DH and I have a big family holiday together every year, but we also have lots of weekends away separately with different groups of friends. DH loves his ski-ing and goes most years, whereas I would rather stick pins in my eyes than ski. Living in each other's pockets isn't a signifier of emotional closeness at all.

I can't really afford holidays but I go on days out with my children, minus my husband, quite regularly. We all quite like it. If the weather holds I am taking a day off on Friday and heading to the beach just me and the children as my husband is working...and we have a better time without him. Whereas we all love playing in the sea, building sandcastles, playing with the ball etc...he hates the sun and just can't stand being there. He endures it sometimes but really we all have a better time without him. So, yes, just go for it.

My DH is the same and it really saddens me.
I am planning a trip away on my own with DD this summer and hope it will be the first of many!

Yes do it, totally acceptable! I did this with both kids and had the best time ever as DH also isn't keen on going away.

Do what makes you happy. I’m not sure I’d enjoy taking two kids myself - I’d probably do separate shorter trips 1:1 with each - but that’s just me.