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Original poster

Does anyone have days where this just doesn't seem real?

29 replies

JamesZebra · 22/06/2020 10:42

I am plodding along with life as it is at the moment, trying to make the best of it but out of nowhere I will have days where I can not get my head around what is going on and I feel like I have been hit by a truck.

It's really odd. It really effects my mood. I am wfh and very fortunate to still have my job at full pay (although I am not sure how long for) but I am of the mindset that what will be will be.

Today it just seems crazy in my head that this is all going on. I keep expecting to wake up from it.

OP posts:
BlushPink · 22/06/2020 10:49

Yes I have felt the same since March. Once a week or so I will suddenly have a weird moment where I just cannot believe what is happening, although it is happening a lot less now than it did at the start of lockdown.

It is always random things that catch me off-guard like the adverts on the TV all being about staying at home, seeing all the rainbows in people's windows or getting emails from retailers saying mushy things like "we're all in this together"/"we're here for you". It just seems like some weird film rather than real life.

MarcelineMissouri · 22/06/2020 10:50

Pretty much every morning I wake up with this expression on my face Shock
It is all completely surreal.

Abraid2 · 22/06/2020 10:50

Most of the time I manage to forget about it but when my 21-year-old student daughter comes home for Sunday lunch and can’t kiss me or go into her own bedroom it jolts me back to reality.

ComDummings · 22/06/2020 10:52

I felt like this very early on, back in March before lockdown. I got called dramatic by a ‘friend’ around the end of February when I was using hand sanitizer when I was out and about. After lockdown I felt like you for a few weeks, like I was in a weird dream, that everything was strange. However, now it feels normal and I have accepted it all which is sort of freaking me out.

mintandcoral · 22/06/2020 10:52

I'm feeling like this today and struggling a bit to be honest. It just feels endless. My dh and my families are a drive and an overnight stay away and two of our parents are shielding. It makes me so sad that I don't know when we will see them again.

EveryPlanetHasAYorkshire · 22/06/2020 10:53

Every day. I keep thinking it is all a dream and I will wake up soon.

WhatWouldDominicDo · 22/06/2020 10:58

I have had enough today.

Work have woken up to the fact that we're all wfh quite well (no significant drops in productivity that aren't offset by cost savings etc), so are now talking on the QT about closing buildings and getting people to wfh more/most of the time. This is driven by the need to save costs, to stay in business.

They are also talking about making all desks not used by operational teams into hot desks, so not only will we not have our own desk, we won't even have our own team area to go to.

I find the whole thing very depressing. When does a company/business stop being that, and start being a collective of people working off their kitchen tables?

I'm knocking on 60. I wasn't planning on retiring for few years yet (maybe 5), but I'm honestly thinking of jacking it all in. The thought of wfh in splendid isolation for the next 5 years or so, until retirement just doesn't do it for me.

Sad
ChessIsASport · 22/06/2020 11:02

I had a car crash before Lockdown and every so often I wonder whether I actually didn’t walk away from it and I am in a coma and all of this is in my imagination.

PeartreeProductions · 22/06/2020 11:06

Yes, it feels like a really strange limbo time, just drifting through your life, not steering. Places are open but it's still not normal, if know what I mean.
Think a lot of us are feeling this way at the moment.

Sherloidbaisherloid · 22/06/2020 11:14

Same, feeling really hopeless today. Dp has been made redundant and job prospects are bleak. I’m on furlough and have no idea if/when I will get back. I don’t know how we will pay our bills at the end of the month. A lot of my friends are working from home and I feel so resentful, I know that’s wrong but when they moan about working from home I just think I would give my right arm to be able to do that. To have that security. It all feels pointless just now and with no end in sight

WhatWouldDominicDo · 22/06/2020 11:19

Wfh doesn't guarantee security sherloid. We've been asked if we'd like to apply for voluntary redundancy, and if not enough people volunteer, there are going to be compulsory redundancies.

I really, really, hope that when all this is reviewed in the whole in 12-18 months time, it's proved that the global lockdown was worth it. Would the virus have run it's course anyway, in a similar timeframe, or have we, globally, made a difference and saved the human race?

serenada · 22/06/2020 11:20

@Chessisasport

You OK there, Chess?

Sherloidbaisherloid · 22/06/2020 11:29

@WhatWouldDominicDo I know it doesn’t guarantee security but the point is they are able to keep working and know they have an income coming in.
Yes I hope the lockdown has been worth it, the consequences from it will be felt for years to come

Original poster
JamesZebra · 22/06/2020 11:43

My contract is up for renewal in July and there is talk of extending it, which is great in one sense because we are so busy at the moment but I do worry they will keep hold of me to get through this busy period and when things go quiet later in the year wave me good bye. That would be pretty gutting. But there isnt a lot I can do about it.
My manager just mentioned on a team call that he can't see us ever going back to our office on a mon-fri 9-5 basis and he thinks there will be some level of working from home forever.......in some respects that is good, it might help me to get a better work/homelife balance in place. I think it's the uncertainty that is stressing me out. I worry about everything and I guess I am a little worried about everything opening up, a second wave hitting and everything locking down again. I am not saying I don't want things to open up. (I have GAD so my brain works weirdly when it comes to this stuff)

I think its kind of the world keeps on turning but everything has changed. It feels like the world should have paused but instead life is almost hurtling along. Can you believe we will be in July next week!!! Shock

OP posts:
Littlebyerockerboo · 22/06/2020 12:16

I didnt at first but I do now.
I belive DS mental health (6) is suffering hugely, he seems terribly effected. Ive become really lacking in motivation, I feel like an awful parent - I've come to realise I can't even homeschool my son properly as I have no idea what I'm even going on about.

We have no income, and all our days are blurring into one. I feel like there's nothing to work towards or for.
I'm currently still sat in my pyjamas as DS is at his father's, we have no money and i cannot think of anything to be "getting on with"
DP is currently out trying to get materials for a job her started pre lock down that came to a screeching halt (outdoor construction work) so we can at least get paid for that - problem is nobody has the materials we need to complete the work and we don't have the cash flow to shop around - all a huge mess.

I regularly shake my head and try and wake myself up.

I'm currently sat waiting for a phone call regarding some bank stuffs,.that apparently is getting sorted now lockdown is being lifted.. weve been told its getting 'sorted' for about 3 weeks now.

Rents behind. Debts behind. We havent even got enough cash to top up gas and electricity, emergency is on at £4 now - we are living off a loaf of bread.

100% keep thinking this isn't real and wanting to wake up. Its the most bizarre situation and I don't know how we will get through it in tact.

TheClaws · 22/06/2020 12:36

My son is living in a college in a city with rising cases of COVID; on the news this evening the government was warning against all travel there. There are designated lockdown zones within the city and suburbs, and his is included. After many months, that’s the first time I’ve been really upset.

Original poster
JamesZebra · 22/06/2020 13:45

littlebyrockerboo that sounds really tough. It sounds like you are doing a tremendous job of getting through this.
I am very worried about my teenagers MH too :(

OP posts:
AvenueQ · 22/06/2020 13:56

@TheClaws is that another country?

DDiva · 22/06/2020 15:59

@Littlebyerockerboo

I didnt at first but I do now. I belive DS mental health (6) is suffering hugely, he seems terribly effected. Ive become really lacking in motivation, I feel like an awful parent - I've come to realise I can't even homeschool my son properly as I have no idea what I'm even going on about.

We have no income, and all our days are blurring into one. I feel like there's nothing to work towards or for.
I'm currently still sat in my pyjamas as DS is at his father's, we have no money and i cannot think of anything to be "getting on with"
DP is currently out trying to get materials for a job her started pre lock down that came to a screeching halt (outdoor construction work) so we can at least get paid for that - problem is nobody has the materials we need to complete the work and we don't have the cash flow to shop around - all a huge mess.

I regularly shake my head and try and wake myself up.

I'm currently sat waiting for a phone call regarding some bank stuffs,.that apparently is getting sorted now lockdown is being lifted.. weve been told its getting 'sorted' for about 3 weeks now.

Rents behind. Debts behind. We havent even got enough cash to top up gas and electricity, emergency is on at £4 now - we are living off a loaf of bread.

100% keep thinking this isn't real and wanting to wake up. Its the most bizarre situation and I don't know how we will get through it in tact.

I cant imagine how this feels.

Can you contact a local food bank ? Can you contact your gas/ electric suppliers to explain the situation ? I do hope you can get some advice to get your family through this.......

Dicotyledon · 22/06/2020 17:18

Funnily enough, it all feels very real to me. I spent years wondering if I was still in a coma and my life was a dream. I think things are all so different now, there’s no way I’m in a coma dream.

Immigrantsong · 22/06/2020 17:22

I have to say I could wfh on a permanent basis IF childcare and schools were in place. I am disabled and enjoy not missing out on so much, but having to wfh and look after the toddler and homeschool the eldest is very hard work and I can't do anything properly. I also have no friends, so not missing out on that front.

Original poster
JamesZebra · 22/06/2020 17:25

@Immigrantsong

I have to say I could wfh on a permanent basis IF childcare and schools were in place. I am disabled and enjoy not missing out on so much, but having to wfh and look after the toddler and homeschool the eldest is very hard work and I can't do anything properly. I also have no friends, so not missing out on that front.
yes I think it would be a lot easier if the kids weren't here. I am really struggling to get mine to do school work and am worried about how this will effect their futures. However I have dyslexia and its like the blind leading the blind. I am a hopeless teacher! I also wish I had a dedicated work space that I could shut the door on at the end of the day. I end up dipping back into work. Our house is tiny so no room for anywhere indoors. I looked at one of those garden rooms and they are SO EXPENSIVE!!! Might have to get the tent out!
OP posts:
BrieAndChilli · 22/06/2020 17:34

It’s so odd isn’t it.
Today we had to take youngest to doctor and then pharmacy and the older 2 had appointments at school with thier form tutors about going back to school next week so all 5 of us went into town. The 5 of us were in the car and it stuck me that it was the first time in months we were going somewhere all together that wasn’t a walk!!
While DH took the boys to the pharmacy me and DD popped to M&S to get some ginger that had been left out of our hello fresh box and she piped up with the fact it was the first time in 4 months she had been to a shop!!

TheClaws · 23/06/2020 02:04

AvenueQ Yes, Australia. Cases are still relatively low compared to other countries - this is a spike - but it’s a frightening one. It was thought to be contained.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 23/06/2020 05:52

Yes, it's horrible. Every day I'm less and less motivated to do stuff. I'm on furlough so I feel like it's just pointless at the moment.