Anyone up? Bf going badly, about to cave and make baby some formula

[NotYetBaby]

Hi everyone,

My little girl is 2 days old and I am trying to breastfeed her. However she has a 50% tongue tie and it’s total agony when she latches. It’s getting worse every feed and baby is just constantly rooting. She’s clearly hungry but I’ve fed her 4 times since midnight and am wondering about just giving her formula because I can’t keep feeding her so often when it is so painful.

I’ve been discharged, and there was no support in the hospital, only a midwife who said the latch looked fine to her as baby’s cheeks weren’t dimpling and there was no clicking.

There’s nothing wrong with formula feeding but for various reasons I really wanted to breastfeed. Does anyone have any advice or positive stories that it’s worth persevering? I don’t want to give up but I can’t bear to be in this much pain for much longer. I know bf can be sore at first but midwife said it shouldn’t be painful after first few seconds.

Morning! I'm just up bfing my 14 month old
You are totally in the thick of it, and it is really hard. Lansinoh and lots of it. Waking that frequently is totally normal, and expect that to carry on.
With the latch, I would definitely consult other hcps, a health visitor and a GP? Get lots of people to check the latch, although fwiw it was sore for me for weeks, and mine didn't have a tongue tie.
Make a plan in your head.. persevere until you can see someone about the latch/pain, lube up your nipples and eat a bagel.
You're doing such a good job xx

As a mum that exclusively formula fed PLEASE just feed your baby tonight. You can go back to breastfeeding tomorrow, or maybe look at expressing milk so you get some relief from the pain. The most important thing is that they have food in their belly. Whether it's formula or breast milk doesn't matter. Please don't think you're a failure if you have to top up with formula, that's what it's made for

Hi Notyet,

I have no experience with tongue tie but I will say that a hungry baby is not a happy baby. I know you want to breast feed but the important thing for her and you is that you both to find a way to settle into your lives together.You will still be holding her and cuddling her if you are feeding with a bottle or breast. She is new to this world and to you - don't fret and if you want to Gove a bottle, make peace and do it. Good luck op. A lovely time but also a hard time.

Hey!

Congratulations on your lovely baby!

Those first few nights are tough: she's adjusting to being on the outside and it's totally normal that she'll want to feed all the time.

Do you have an appointment to get the tongue tie snipped? Can you get nipple shields in the meantime - it could make a big difference! Just focus on getting through to the morning / you're doing great

I'd really recommend getting in touch with La Leche League - you can find your local leader here: www.llli.org/get-help/ You can give her a call tomorrow (or even drop her a message just now!) and she'll be able to talk through some ideas with you. There are also online meetings - in my area there's a special group for new mums.

(Currently feeding my 9-month-old, and never thought I'd get this far when she was 2-days-old! Hang in there x)

It is bloody awful isn't it. Tomorrow, get someone to go out and get you these www.amazon.co.uk/Multi-Mam-60-05-26-Compresses/dp/B001O1EERE?tag=mumsnetforu03-21
You can get them in boots. Absolutely cover your nipples in cream now, try and leave them exposed to heal a bit if they're very sore too. What a fab job you're doing!
If you give her a bottle it doesn't mean you have to give her one again if you don't want to. Tomorrow, ring your midwife or a local breastfeeding support and if you're on Facebook, breastfeeding yummy mummies can be a helpful group.
That being said I did formula feed mine from this point onwards and I do want to say it is OK to do that but if you want to breastfeed, it gets easier (I hear) if you can get the right support.

I do agree with getting through til morning. It's nearly morning now and those early days it's just about making it through til the morning and surviving. Good luck op.

It's very normal to feel pain as the baby latches and milk is let down for the first week or two, even with no tongue-tie (I didn't know this before I breastfed.) This pain should only last a minute or so and the situation should resolve itself after a few weeks. If the pain is persisting throughout the feed the latch needs to be looked at again. Congratulations on your new baby too.

Day two is the worst! We were told at a breast feeding class pre-birth that this was when they got the most calls in the middle of the night. Baby is trying to establish your supply so is feeding often and your nipples are still getting used to it. I second the lanisoh, it will get easier.

Look on Facebook for the local infant feeding team, ours are currently doing video calls to help with latch etc. If there isn't one NCT have counsellors as does the la leche league. Do you have a date to get the tongue-tie fixed?

I have a nine week old who's my second. This is so much harder in lockdown due to the lack of support but I promise it does get easier!

Morning, and congratulations on your new baby! I second the nipple shield idea. Get some from the pharmacy today- they saved me when I was breastfeeding.
It's so, so hard at first and I wanted to give up due to the pain. But nipple shields meant that I could carry on breastfeeding whilst allowing my poor sore skin to heal a bit.
After a week or so, your nipples will have got used to it and you'll feel no pain breastfeeding. Plus it's so easy long term, you're always ready to go and can stop a crying baby in less than a second!! I always used to think I had magic boobs- worked every time!
I went on to breastfeed my first for six months and my second baby for seven months and with the second there was no pain or problem.
It's worth it if you can stick with it but whatever you choose, a fed baby and happy mum are what's most important xxx

The National Breastfeeding Helpline are great. Give them a ring tomorrow or contact them via webchat and they will give you help and support:

www.nationalbreastfeedinghelpline.org.uk/

First of all, if you want to give some formula, please do so without a shred of guilt.

Night two is famously difficult for breastfeed babies, they're cluster feeding to bring your milk in, I don't think I slept at all, and night three wasn't any better. Once my milk was in it did improve.

The pain is awful, and that was without tongue tie, or only a minor one at least. Use lansinoh, get the compresses, get the more shields. Leave breast pads soaked in milk in your bra, that will help with healing. Lots of advice says to air them, but I found that made things worse.

Phone your midwife tomorrow and get the ball rolling on a tongue tie assessment. I think it's harder to get them snipped ATM with covid, so get on a local breastfeeding FB group to ask how that's working ATM.

Bottom line: if you want to keep bfing, you can and you will, and it'll soon get easier - regardless of whether you give formula tonight. If you decide to move to formula, that's great too.

How are you doing now OP? Both of mine had 50% tongue tie and it really does make feeding painful. I would push for a snip ASAP as that will really help. You can get it done privately which will speed things up if that's an option for you.

It's a complete myth that breastfeeding is painless, even with a good latch it was never pain free for me for months. Sometimes still hurts and DS2 has just turned 5months. Your nipples have to toughen up and baby's mouth has to grow a bit. Use the lanolin cream, get some nipple shields and watch lots of videos on good latch and positioning on YouTube. Call the UK breastfeeding helpline for support and give a few bottles of formula if you need a bit of a break.

Also silver cups are amazing for healing damaged nipples. They made the difference for me this time.

www.breastangels.co.uk

Give a bit of formula to calm you and feed baby and try breast feeding tomorrow. I remember getting home like you and the baby was crying and I was crying and couldn’t feed and felt like it was all going wrong but a bit of formula worked and I fed baby the next day.

If your baby is not screaming the house down it means they are getting enough milk at present. I'm now 6 months into my feeding journey and at the start it was painful and I felt like quiting at times! Put lots of lansinoh (spell check) on your nipples and some people swear by nipple shields although I didn't find them great. First 2 weeks are the hardest and then you will both turn a corner hopefully. Someone on here suggested on another thread a great way to formula feed if u don't want baby to confuse nipple and teat is to dribble the formula down the nipple so baby is still latching and getting milk. Although that might not work for you if you want ur nipples to get a break.
Ring your health nurse and get them out asap, they were brilliant with me. Also any friends who have breastfed they will be your saviour! Don't feel your failing, get back up sorted now! Friends friends friends. Congratulations by the way, my 6 month old is snuggled here beside me, I don't even wake now half the time when she feeds

Coincidentally a friend of mine is a lactation consultant and just posted this on Facebook today. Wise words.

Congratulations on your new baby

www.amazon.co.uk/Rite-Aid-Hydrogel-Breast-Discs/dp/B01FDTH9LA/ref=sxts_sxwds-bia-wc1_0?psc=1&crid=1L6M69DO9E8VF&keywords=hydrogel+breast+discs&sprefix=Hydrogel+br%2Caps%2C177&pd_rd_i=B01FDTH9LA&qid=1592635667&cv_ct_cx=hydrogel+breast+discs&dchild=1&pf_rd_p=afb19e8f-1b2c-4739-bb8b-8180a5123767&pd_rd_wg=9SZKH&pf_rd_r=2NFQFNH9ZWJCBXTY5DJ8&pd_rd_w=5CTiJ&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&pd_rd_r=6457bced-83f2-406c-934b-3d06fd5d5bad&sr=1-1-24a65e40-a604-4e35-beb9-8777bbbd421c These are amazing, the first couple of weeks are killers as your nipples adjust, it does get easier. I think we all expect breast feeding to be so much easier than it is but it does get better. My baby wouldn’t latch at all so was mainly formula/express breast fed the first few days while I established my milk and then it all clicked. Do what you need to do

Looking back, switching to formula at 2mths was the best thing i ever did. I wish i had from the start but there's so much pressure to breastfeed now.

Hi OP

It sounds as though breastfeeding is pretty painful right now? Cluster feeding or wanting to be at the breast almost constantly in these very early days is perfectly normal, however it sounds as though you're worried about your little one getting enough milk. Colostrum is very very nutrient dense and comes in small quantities. Your baby's tummy is about the size of a cherry so needs filling regularly. In addition, removing milk from the breast regularly will encourage your milk to transition to more abundant milk in the coming days.

I'm wondering if you've heard of the flipple technique? It's a way of shaping the breast to try and reach the soft palette and can make latching more comfortable. The best video I've seen is by the Milk Meg, a lactation consultant.

Nipple shields are also a consideration although some mums do find this can reduce milk transfer. ThenAssociation of Breastfeeding Mothers has a good information sheet here abm.me.uk/breastfeeding-information/using-a-nipple-shield-with-a-breastfed-baby/

Formula is an adequate substitute for breastmilk but it does sound as though breastfeeding is Plan A for you? You do have plenty of time to encourage your baby to the breast, but a limited window to take advantage of the hormones to establish your milk supply. It is possible, but harder, to build supply later. For this reason, lots of mums hand express or use a pump if they're unable to feed directly at the breast. Offering this milk in a syringe or cup is possible, or using paced bottle feeding if you'd like to use a bottle, to mimic breastfeeding and reduce the risk of nipple confusion.

Give the National Breastfeeding Helpline a ring when they open at 9.30am. They will listen and support you without judgement and offer you information if you need it.

Well done for being so proactive. It is perfectly ok for you to feel that breastfeeding is important to you and your preferred method of infant feeding, and it is valid to want to pursue your breastfeeding goals.

Took my first DD 8 weeks to get it - that was 8 weeks of a cycle of trying to bf, cup feeding, winding (which took forever due to cup feeding), expressing, then about 45 mins sleep before trying again.
It was hell, but I was determined and loved it once we were away. So much easier, cheaper and less work (no bottles, sterilising, less to pack etc).

In my case I think it was just making sure I was comfy and in the right position. I have quite a large chest and it helped me to move my breast to the right place with my opposite hand and hold it there, rather than try to move the baby about. Tried all sorts of pillows, positions etc but no one suggested that trick.

My second got it straight away.

I’ve no experience with tongue ties - are they fixing it ?

How are you feeling this morning?
If you gave your baby formula in the night please don't feel bad or like you can't breastfeed now. DS1 had a cup of formula in hospital as a newborn and I bf him till he turned 3.

I don't think DS1 had a tongue tie but the whole feed used to hurt not just the first few seconds, it got better around the 6 week mark.

Join some breastfeeding groups on Facebook - always loads of people up and able to help - can I breastfeed in it and the off topic discussion are both great.

It's hard with tongue tie and fine to supplement with formula until you get it snipped.

Once you crack it breastfeeding is amazing so hang on in there - you've been given a tough start but will be so much better once the tongue tie is sorted

Good luck

Ps you as other posters have said, loads of lansinoh or try some nipple shields?

It is so so normal to feed constantly at that age while they build up your supply... it doesn't mean they're hungry or going without. Please don't think that you're not doing a fab job

I remember the pain well - it used to make my toes curl and I spent many feeds in tears - but it does get better. Lansinoh cream is brilliant (and doesn't have to be wiped off before feeding) and lots of air to your nipples helps. The midwife may say it should only hurt for a few seconds but I'm sure in the very early days I just found it generally very sore. My poor nipples just weren't used to being sucked on all day/every day! I also agree with pp, getting the latch looked at again may help.

If you want to give formula there is nothing wrong with that but as you've said you really wanted to breastfeed my advice is never to give up on a bad night. Tell yourself you will give up the next day, if you want to, and by the next day things might just look better. The nights can feel so long when you're exhausted and sitting with a cluster feeding baby but you can always come back here. I'm usually up twice a night feeding (at 7 months) and there are many others who will be up doing the night shift who will be happy to keep you company xx

Hope you are having some sleep OP and someone is making you a cup of tea.

You are right in the baby blues danger zone now, so everything might be feeling completely overwhelming as it is without tongue tie in the mix.

Best thing I did was look up videos on YouTube about positioning and latch, really helped me to visualise what I should be doing and how much of the breast needs to be in the babies mouth (I.e bit just the nipple).