Really, really, really petty things that annoy you

[BuzzShitbagBobbly]

(and which have zero impact on your life!)

My list includes:

• Companies which have the owner's initials as the business name. I have no problem at all with (say) "Clare King Picture Framers", but "CK Picture Framers" winds the shit out of me.

• Similarly, businesses which merge two names to create one made up word as the name. For example, Clare goes into business with Jenny and they call it "Clajen Picture Framers" Grrrrr!

• People who use lame examples as brilliant suggestions. E.g. say someone (not me, I assure you!) wanted to organise a really original/unusual theme for a party. The Lamer would say "how about tarts and vicars". Nasty AND boring!

I'm sure I have a million more...

Those pop up boxes when Internet shopping, telling me how many other people are looking at this item right now. I don't care!! But you are stopping me looking at said item to see if I want it!!

Also this

Totally agree with ham packets that never open properly!! Arghh

I have a new baby and I've only just noticed how every appliance beeps loudly when it's finished! The microwave.. not one, not two, not three but FIVE LONG LOUD piercing beeps! The dishwasher too and washing machine.. every time I'm like fucksake!! Shut up!

Is there a way to stop these 😂

Husband eating biscuits immediately after I've hoovered and sweeping the crumbs onto the carpet.

Definitely this. Omg I'm so easily irritated

"People in my house who treat me like a walking Ask Jeeves because they cannot be bothered to look for something first, check the kitchen calendar"

I absolutely agree, @blueshoes - I used to say 'Use your own brain, not mine!'

"People calling children "kids""

I sometimes watch a programme where one of the mums calls her children kiddos, @MondeoFan - that should be a capital crime, IMO.

And yes to the appliances that make noises, @Caneloalvarez - the microwave beeps every minute or so until you take out whatever was in it. Dh will reheat his tea, then ignore the beeps for ages, so he has to microwave it again - and then ignore the beeps some more - until I am ready to pour it over his fool head!

The washing machine sings a merry little tune when it finishes - but at least it shuts up and doesn't carry on nagging me. We used to have a KitchenAid kettle that screamed when it boiled - I have never been more glad to see an appliance die.

And then when the tumble dryer gets in on the act, it's like there is some discordant electronic symphony in my house. Just shut the fuck up, all of you!!

@YouDirtyMare

Dd puts the lid back on the empty milk carton, then puts it by the sink. So I have to remove the lid, in order to rinse said carton. We have discussed this more than once.
My df answers the phone, to tell me it is not a convenient time to answer the phone and he will phone me back. Just don't answer then!!!

Just beamed in? Regional accents, my dear. You know, how you can usually have a fair idea of what part of the UK they're from by the way they pronounce certain words.

Woah, patronising, much? If you were aiming for humour, you missed. More than aware of this, thanks, having lived in areas of strong regional accents, Newcastle, Liverpool, Cardiff. Also (not boasting, just a fact) I have a dual language degree. I was asking why the extra r pronounced in some words is apparently fine yet khaki with the r sound isn’t.

Also (not boasting, just a fact) I have a dual language degree

So if not boasting, what fucking relevance does that have? And yes dear, I meant to patronise you. Have a nice day.

And yes dear, I meant to patronise you. Have a nice day.

Christ why ever would you be so unpleasant?

If someone says "I was laying on my bed, when..." I imagine them squatting on their duvet over an ever-increasing pile of eggs.

People younger than me calling me "love". Only acceptable if you are older than me.

Dunking biscuits in tea or coffee.

That dh refers to all and sundry as 'your friend', as in your friend the builder (who stood us up three times) no he is not my friend ☹️.

Super petty rant here, I'm sitting in my garden listening to my neighbor having a woman's lunch (10+ people hard not to hear). Even though we have different social distancing rules to you, they are into their 70ties and her dh is nearing 90. None of my business, I thought I wouldn't care, but it annoys me.

Every time I go to make a cup of tea without fail the kettle is empty yet I always fill up the kettle with enough water for several cups. My DH doesn't even ask if I'd like a cup when he makes himself one since we've both been working from home. I imagine all those extra minutes he saves everyday not having to fill the kettle up.

I agree with most of what has been posted here, but Stacey Dooley has a regional accent. You can't hate that! Also, some of her serious work about sex trafficking etc is Bafta worthy. And I'm very much a supporter of working class women being respected in their careers and not dismissed for how they speak if it's not RP.

I am a working class professional with a London accent and my ability has been judged for it, can you tell?

And in keeping with this thread: my pet hates are the phrases "pet hate", "plate of picky food", "living my best life", "making memories" and the like, anything cutesy like ickle, hubby, hubs, wife, choccy, kiddos, poopy, etc, anything which is a twee euphemism for body parts or sex (just call a spade a vagina ffs) and the word supper (and people who eat it). Oh, and Tories.

@BendyLikeBeckham sorry not British, if not wife then what?

And I'm sure dh will notice next time I ask him to pass the vagina while doing gardening .

sorry not British, if not wife then what?

I think it was meant to read wifey. So husband and wife = totally fine, hubby and wifey = excruciatingly cutesy and unnecessary. Which I agree with!

@ihop Que...It's fucking queue people!
I've seen it so many times over the past couple of weeks my head might explode. this way". Very nearly said something to the checkout girl but thought it probably wasn't her who wrote it and she probably has more to worry about.

But I totally agree!!

Oh thanks dappled that makes sense, and I even agree with you on this one .

People who get 'to' and 'too' mixed up. I have a family member who posted a facebook status recently saying something like ''went too my mums today too have a catch up'' - shes in her late 30s and I am amazed she doesn't understand the difference by now. I had to unfollow her!

Definitely this. I only seem to have started noticing it in the last couple of years though, so wondering if it's a new thing and which bastard started it?!

...until I am ready to pour it over his fool head!
With you on the beeping though.

When people add "months" to the name of a season, for absolutely no reason.

"We often eat outside in the summer months." Well the summer does have months, but it is also made up of weeks, days, hours, minutes, and seconds. You eat outside in the summer. THAT IS ALL YOU NEED TO SAY.

@derxa

If someone says "I was laying on my bed, when..." I imagine them squatting on their duvet over an ever-increasing pile of eggs.

I really want tho know if these eggs are going to hatch. If so, what will come out? Is that how babies are born these days?

I have a few:

My landlady doing unnecessary works on the house in the midst of a pandemic.
People who write "I'm fumming " or "The sun is shinning" well I didn't know the fucking sun had SHINS!

My phone constantly changing fucking to ducking.

DP telling me I've done something when I haven't, e.g moving his t-shirt. Maybe put it away and then it wouldn't get dragged around the bedroom floor you hoofwanking bunglecunt!

Being asked every day "what's for tea?" I now reply with "whatever you're making" I do the shopping, I pay for the shopping I don't want to cook it as well!