Mums. So when do you stop feeling a complete mess?

[BabyLlamaZen]

My ds is 7 months old. It's (sort of?) getting easier, but I still feel a bit of a wreck. I lost a bit of weight initially (but still 2 dress sizes up from pre-pregnancy and dont feel great). I also look exhausted.

My hair! Ugh my hair is such a mess. I wash it every other day and it still looks horrendous. I used to have amazing hair. What's wrong with my hair? Also any other way to wear it then a messy bun?

I only fit yoga pants and big nursing tops, normally covered in breast milk and sick.

My lips are cracked as never drink enough water, despite having bottles all over the house.

How do you do it? When do you return to vaguely human looking woman?

DD is nearly 11 months now and honestly recently starting to feel more “myself” in the past month or so. Managed to shift most of the baby weight, my mum tum isn’t as saggy, hair isn’t falling out anymore and generally more human.

She’s sleeping through the night now which obviously helps as I have time in the evenings to have some self care, hair/face masks or just chill.

You’ll get there x

Same as Teacake, things improved dramatically at the 10, nearly 11 month stage. I’ve got a bit more time - naps are more predictable. I also found myself a diet and exercise plan that was pretty forgiving and have managed to shift 1.5 stone. That’s had a knock on effect on my general motivation to make a bit more effort.

That said, you’ve just had a baby. It’s totally fine to take some time. Find a couple of small habits that can become part of your daily routine and build up from there, for me it was hand cream and lip balm by the bed, put both on every night.

Christ OP I’m only slightly getting my shit together and DD is 3 and a half!
When she was 7 months I was just in a haze of exhaustion, carbs and caffeine.
What’s the rush?

I’m now a year pp and still feel a complete mess. I’ve just stopped breastfeeding though so I’m hoping that once those hormones leave my system I’ll magically return to how I was pre-baby

My daughter is 24 now and I think I'm getting there

Probably by the time my son was 10 months old. I returned to work at that stage so had no choice. I was still a stone over my pre pregnancy weight then , but I had sorted a small work wardrobe and got out for a haircut so appeared well put together enough. He's always struggled with sleep though so it was tricky.

Take as much time as you need.

When I started getting at least 4 hours straight sleep a night was a big turning point for me. It took far too long to get there tho!

I'm 9 months in and it's starting to get better. Managed to dye my hair two nights ago!

But usually, I have shower and immediately tie up wet hair in a bun. Wear joggers or leggings and yep, get covered in yucky stuff.

Thanks mums!

I'll be optimistic then with 10/11 months

Breastfeeding makes me absolutely starving!

I’ll be honest I had my first six years ago and another three years ago and I still feel a mess, I don’t understand how others get the time. I don’t have time for exercise until the kids are in bed then I’m usually too tired. My hair is awful and I just scrape it into a messy bun most of the time and certainly don’t have time for a full face of make up before the school run!

I don’t think I’m alone but when I see other mums slim and looking beautiful I’m just in awe.

My ds has just turned one and things are ok. He sleeps 12 hours a night and is easy enough to manage now.
I find that if I make the effort to blow dry my hair and straighten it once its been washed, I can get a couple of days out of it looking well - so its def worth the time it takes to do. Also get my hair colour done once a month (pre-covid) and it helps to keep it in good condition.
I try to take 5 mins in the morning to at least fill in my eyebrows and put on mascara, even something that small makes a big difference for me.
The weight is a different issue, I was doing really well - then got PND and had to go on meds and I put a load of weight back on. I'm trying to lose it again now but am not being too hard on myself in that way.

give it another 15... 20 years and you might find some time to stop feeling a mess.. lol i know how you feel though

I don't think there was a specific time. I just gradually got back to myself so to say. The more independent the kid gets, the more you can do for yourself.

Honestly? When my youngest was three and my eldest was five. But I think that was also because I was working part time evenings around child care so never actually had any time to myself to make any real effort. If I'd have evenings to myself more frequently it might have been different.

When they sleep through
You’ll feel so much better plus when they go to nursery you can go to the gym / hairdresser etc alone

When she was 13 months and I stopped breastfeeding. Felt amazing for about 6 weeks. Then I got pregnant again.

I turned a corner at ten months (when ds started sleeping through!). You'll definitely get there too and I bet you look better than you think now

When I stopped breastfeeding DC2 at 18 months.

The weight (a whole stone) literally fell off in weeks. They started sleeping through so I started sleeping through.

Your hair will improve soon, it's probably looking fluffy with regrowth.

DS is 19 months and I still don’t have myself together. I felt things were getting better this year but Covid was extremely disruptive for us. Do you think the pandemic might be having some impact on the way you feel? It’s certainly got my stress levels a little higher than usual.

Looking back I wasn’t me until they were old enough to be left on their own downstairs while I was upstairs and able to put a bit of time into my appearance so I would say I went 8/9 years

Oh also as others have said, I started to feel a little better when I stopped breastfeeding! Not a reason to stop if you’re happy but an extra benefit when you do stop!

My son is 3 now. I’ll let you know! My mum says it was about when I turned 32.....

I really got my skincare regime together when my son was about 6 months. I started spending 15 mins each night cleansing, moisturising etc... It sounds silly but it really made me look more awake and healthy. I used to feel horrific but everyone would say oh you're glowing!! 🤣

I live in a messy bun still as I have a mountain of hair and I would be boiling with it down all the time.

But sometimes taking control over one aspect of your regime can have a positive effect.

Congratulations @BabyLlamaZen I was lucky because we didn't have Instagram and Facebook 20 years ago so I could slob out with my crappy skin, hair in a messy ponytail and live in joggers unbothered. TBH the first 12 months were a bit of a blur. As my son got older, more independant and most improtantly got a proper sleeping patern and I got back into work I found more time and motivation to start taking more care of my appearance.

You will start getting back to feeling like you again but give it time and go easy on yourself