Mums. So when do you stop feeling a complete mess?

[BabyLlamaZen]

My ds is 7 months old. It's (sort of?) getting easier, but I still feel a bit of a wreck. I lost a bit of weight initially (but still 2 dress sizes up from pre-pregnancy and dont feel great). I also look exhausted.

My hair! Ugh my hair is such a mess. I wash it every other day and it still looks horrendous. I used to have amazing hair. What's wrong with my hair? Also any other way to wear it then a messy bun?

I only fit yoga pants and big nursing tops, normally covered in breast milk and sick.

My lips are cracked as never drink enough water, despite having bottles all over the house.

How do you do it? When do you return to vaguely human looking woman?

Don’t want to hijack the thread but interested in what @Insertdeadcatsnamehere @pastabest @bellajay said about stopping breastfeeding - do you mean you had more time to spend on yourself because you weren’t feeding (and also could wear whatever you wanted etc) or did the change in hormones actually have an effect on how you felt? (Please give me hope)

When the youngest is 4.

About a year after they go to school. But I did feel a bit better when they turned two.

When I went back to work when DD was 18 months and I actually had a reason to get properly dressed and look alive.

Another one for when I stopped BFing. 1) I could wear whatever I wanted and 2) the weight fell off. DD is now 2.5 and I'm the slimmest I've been since early teens.

When ds was around 2 and I had lost the baby weight

I think 9 months was quite a shift. It’s nearly a year now and I look pretty much like I did from the outside, though the internal birth injuries are nowhere near healed, which does get me down. Apart from that, and the whole pandemic situation, I feel mentally quite good (and I did have really bad PND).

Aw OP
We are so critical of ourselves. You are doing an amazing thing just go easy on yourself! My twins were about 5 when I managed to pull myself together and start wearing makeup

Honestly mine are 4 & 6 and I still feel like I haven’t got my shit together fully! I hate when people say this but bit by bit it does get easier. It’s never easy (to me). But bit by bit I get more of ‘myself’ back.

I think DS was about 4 before I finally had my act together!
And I agree that the weight didn't come off until I stopped breastfeeding and then it just melted away.

Ella - it was the hormones I think. Lost most of the baby weight without doing much but thought my shape had changed permanently (wider hips). Once I stopped feeding the last half stone just disappeared, boobs went back to normal so clothes hung properly again and my hips seemed to go back to where they'd been before which was a nice surprise. Suspect I might not be so lucky this time around though!

Agree with others. Things lifted a bit around the year mark but, honestly, my two are now 6 & 3.5 and for the past year or so things have been so much better.

Basically since the first day we went to a cafe and they both coloured quietly while DH and I drank coffee and had a full conversation. It was amazing.

Hmmm with DS1 the weight fell off straight away but I felt groggy all the time because he was a rubbish sleeper.
With DS2 (nearly 5m) he's a good sleeper and very happy during the day so I feel like my normal self but I'm just over half a stone heavier than I'd like, I'm not sure if its baby related or lockdown baking related though

When they sleep!! Ds1 was a crap sleeper and I felt like shit until he started doing decent stretches at night (he'd turned 1 by then). Ds2 sleeps so much better and I've felt myself since shortly after birth- I've lost weight, exercise, skin looks nice which I'm positive is linked to quality sleep and generally feel fine. I do still have a stone and a half to lose but once that's gone I think I'll feel even better!

Thanks @Insertdeadcatsnamehere that’s really encouraging. Have just stopped feeding so fingers crosssd the hormones work their magic for me too!

My twins are 9 and i look terrible. I used to be hot and sexy before kids now i so raggeddy. I am a single mum ot twins , one of whom is diagnosed with autism.

I decided today that i just cannot be bothered to make an effort. Its better for me to look raggedy and everyone knows thats just how i look then i can make an effort once in a while than busting a gut trying to keep up looking good. Just relax into the wurzel gummidgeness

I thought l looked great after having a baby - everyone used to tell me l looked good - it is true l lost all my baby weight and more really quickly but today l was at my mum's and she had some photos out of me with my new baby...my God l looked rough!!! But sod it l had a new baby to look after and that was my priority