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Original poster

Brother has been arrested....

72 replies

cantChooseYourRelatives · 15/06/2020 07:57

I've NC for this but my brother has been arrested.

It's not entirely surprising as his life has spiralling for as long as I can remember. I went NC at the beginning of the year as I'd had enough.

Apparently the police turned up at his ex GF house - they have 2 kids together. And told her he'd been arrested and he was to not have any unsupervised contact with his kids.
They wouldn't say what he has done.

My brother is prone to lies and you never know the full story. Is there or will there be anyway of finding out what he has been arrested for?

OP posts:
bluebluezoo · 15/06/2020 09:48

I don't think 'Sarah's law' is applicable to you op, you've stated you are NC with them, therefore I imagine your children are too?

It’s applicable to anyone. Anyone can request disclosure under sarah’s law. And clare’s law for dv.

However they will only be told information that may help safeguard. If o/p is NC, and has no intention of seeing her brother, then the police may be satisfied with that and not disclose.

However if there is any risk that the children may see him, through grandparents, in the future etc, then a disclosure will be made to protect the children.

Make the request, and ask your mum and his ex to do so also.

Pinkyyy · 15/06/2020 09:51

Has his ex told you this? Doesn't sound believable to me. Police officers can't just go around recommending that parents don't see their children.

HollowTalk · 15/06/2020 09:55

@Pinkyyy

Has his ex told you this? Doesn't sound believable to me. Police officers can't just go around recommending that parents don't see their children.
Why can't police do that if someone's committed a sexual offence against children?
Original poster
cantChooseYourRelatives · 15/06/2020 09:58

I obviously do not know he is a paedophile.

If I knew I wouldn't be here asking questions and I would have no trouble in reporting him to the police myself.
He would never be left with my child because he is a drunk and irresponsible not because I believe him to be a sexual predator.

I know I have to wait it's just the wanting to know the truth! As he lies about everything! You never know the true story- from him
Losing jobs, breaking up with girlfriends, DV... you never know what actually happened, you just get his twisted tale of him always being the innocent party.

So if he is charged etc I just want to know if it will be public, when it goes to court will be public....

OP posts:
Deanetta · 15/06/2020 09:59

I would have thought Sarah's Law would only work if he was convicted, not arrested?

PicsInRed · 15/06/2020 10:05

irresponsible not because I believe him to be a sexual predator.

Does anyone else believe him to be a sexual predator or in anyway inappropriate with women or children?

You're giving us a lot of lines to read between and I get the impression you want him to be "ok", just "a bit of a drunk". Some of the worst things happen when certain men's inhibitions are lowered with drink.

Does your mother consider him a danger to children and do you leave the children alone with her?

NoMoreDickheads · 15/06/2020 10:17

Just looked at sarah's law and I guess I could make the request?

As a PP just said, it wouldn't tell you anything about him unless/until he's convicted.

LittleMissRedHat · 15/06/2020 10:17

@Pinkyyy

Has his ex told you this? Doesn't sound believable to me. Police officers can't just go around recommending that parents don't see their children.
Of course they can. And indeed would do.
Zaphodsotherhead · 15/06/2020 10:17

Would it necessarily be sexual offences against children? Could it not be violence-related? For instance, could he have beaten up a current girlfriend and possibly hurt her children and then messaged her to tell her to keep quiet (hence taking of his phone to trawl through texts)?

Obviously, violence is just as bad as sexual offences, but why would everyone leap to 'must be a paedophile, when he could just be a common or garden nasty vicious bugger?

NoMoreDickheads · 15/06/2020 10:19

Police officers can't just go around recommending that parents don't see their children.

They certainly can- if someone's under investigation for a sexual crime involving children and they're taking it seriously, I imagine they always do.

Original poster
cantChooseYourRelatives · 15/06/2020 10:23

No my mum doesn't consider him a danger to children...

He doesn't currently have a GF. He lives alone. He chats to women on line.

I don't want him to be "ok"....I've honestly had enough of his crap. Hence the NC but I'm close to my mum and she deals with so much from him that I end up hearing all about it.
I'm hoping this will be enough that she goes NC now and leaves him to it! If he isn't locked up!

OP posts:
CaraDune · 15/06/2020 10:25

@Pinkyyy

Has his ex told you this? Doesn't sound believable to me. Police officers can't just go around recommending that parents don't see their children.
Completely false.

I (unwittingly) took DS to see a relative while visiting my rellies up the other end of the country. I got a phone call - completely out of the blue - from one of the police officers on his offender management team, to explain that he had a conviction for sexual offences against an under age girl.

They strongly advised I keep DS away from him.

@cantChooseYourRelatives(very appropriate name, btw, I know exactly how you feel) regarding what you can and can't be told by the police - the way the police officer I was in contact with played it was "I can't tell you the exact details because of confidentiality, but if you ask him, I can then tell you whether what he's told you is correct or whether he's withholding some of the details."

Zaphodsotherhead · 15/06/2020 10:25

Would they also warn to keep the children away in the case of violence against children?

Curious here as I don't really have any first hand knowledge, but it would seem common sense.

And it may not have been a 'regular' girlfriend, could just be a hook up, if alcohol is involved.

Pinkyyy · 15/06/2020 10:27

It appears they can make that recommendation then, that is quite surprising to me.

KarenGreenwood125 · 15/06/2020 10:29

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TinnedPearsForPudding · 15/06/2020 10:33

My BIL was arrested & always refused to tell us why. The police confiscated his computers & phones but would also not tell us why. We found it impossible to find court dates - too many courts and they update their data at different times / days. We assume it was child sex abuse related as we got a phone call from SS in our area (BIL lives in another area) ensuring we were able to keep our DS safe from him. But again, no one told us what he had been arrested for, charged with or even if he was convicted. Data protection gone too far in my opinion. Sorry.

VettiyaIruken · 15/06/2020 10:33

What the fuck is wrong with you, Karen? You think that sort of ridiculous comment is appropriate?

OldeMagick · 15/06/2020 10:41

Don't feed the troll

Original poster
cantChooseYourRelatives · 15/06/2020 10:48

Just spoken to my mum no new news just police won't tell her anything, but he is able to call her if he wants.

She did remind me of an incident in the past where another Ex girlfriend called the police or the neighbours called the police because of a fight between them, the police saw kids toys etc in his flat - which was an absolute pigsty, messy and disgusting. The police visited the mother of his kids to say they were making a report to social services, but nothing ever came of it. She stopped the kids from going for a while.

So could be something similar? But I don't know who he would've got into a fight with or whatever.

OP posts:
sunflowersandtulips50 · 15/06/2020 11:13

To be honest its pretty clear that your brother has been arrested for offences related to children. Hence the advice to his ex about access- they cant do much else as has he hasnt gone through court processes yet and wont have a conviction. You wont be given information about why he was arrested.

You seem to be trying to access information for the sake of being nosey not because your worried about your brother, you dont see him and he doesnt see your DC. You are NC with him so leave it be...

SummerDayWinterEvenings · 15/06/2020 11:18

If he is charged -there will be log of it. I'd make a request under Sarah's law takes about 15 minutes. But -if he is not convicted yet -it won't come up will it?

PawPawNoodle · 15/06/2020 11:21

Has he been sentenced before? That sounds like a condition of a release licence or sex offender register.

borntohula · 15/06/2020 11:26

At least they told his ex, when DD's dad was arrested (for offences relating to a minor) I found out via one of his neighbours. Hope you all find out what's going on asap.

Original poster
cantChooseYourRelatives · 15/06/2020 11:35

Yeah nothing to do with me, when it affects my mum, dad, his kids, who I am close to! 🙄 plus I've spent most of my life having to apologise for his behaviour- I also tend to get judge by association so yes it would be nice to be forewarned of what he has done before being told by someone else.

So I guess right now we just have to sit it out and wait to see what cock and bull story he comes up with.

Thank you to those who added help and advice.

OP posts:
louise5754 · 15/06/2020 11:44

I would have thought unless he had been convicted in court and found guilty they cannot release details unless he's found innocent?

They arrest you to find out info? No?

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