Just called police about DH.

[onetwoone]

Can someone please talk to me.

I've name changed as I don't want this to follow me around on here.

I've been rowing with my DH about something that doesn't even matter much in the big scheme of things and I felt at the time he was aggressive and threatening and I called the police.

We have been together a number of years and I've never felt threatened before tonight.

Now I think I over reacted. But I'm not sure if I did it's all muddled in my mind what happened and I feel guilty and wrong but at the time I felt like I needed to call them because I did feel scared and I was scared.

I don't know what I want anyone to say to me I just want a hand hold I think.

He didn't hit me and I don't think he would of looking back but I was frightened of him at that point and I have never called the police before.

Ffs. I feel like shit.

Now I am worried they will report a safeguarding issue where there isn't one.

I've explained there is no and has never been any violence but what will happen now.

I'm frightened I've opened up a can of worms because I might have over reacted.

Hi OP, I think you did do the right thing. This will be a tad long, but there is a point, I promise.
I went through smth similar about 10 years ago with DH, I was starting to feel a bit threatened when he got drunk(which was rarely) . Like your case, he is a good egg, so I kept telling him I'm not the kind to take this, he needs counseling etc. One time I snapped and slapped him as he kept backing me into a wall. He snapped, it wasn't pretty, I called his brother to get him or I'm calling the police. Next morning, after a night of me bawling my eyes out, trying to sort out if we should go to counselling etc, he comes home still slightly drunk and says to me to think what I did to deserve that(after me mentioning counseling). And I think smth in me just snapped but not in rage, in cold calm. Grabed a frying pan from the kitchen and told hin to get the fuck out within 2 seconds or I call the police and show them my bruises. Sobered him right up. He tried to apologise, I kicked him out. Got himself sorted and got us the soonest appointment he coold get through relate. Anyway, I relented and went, it helped us massively. He realised this is what he grew up, his dad being 'the man' , maybe sometimes slapping his mum about when ahe talked back or didn't agree with him. Obviously I had my own issues too, but not related to the beating...just stuff that came out, that didn't help matters. See his normal day to day brain told him that was not ok, so hw kinda phased rhose memories out, so he was not like that at all. Not perfect either, just a regular guy trying to be a decent person. But when drunk this repressed crap came out, he felt like he was his dad, he needed to not be controlled by his woman, not chained and other such craptastic views he saw in his family. Swear to God, never regreted eventually taking him back, he's never shown even the slightest signs of threatening behaviour, and he sticks to a certain limit with drinking as he knows he will lose me forever. Not saying he's perfect, just the average bloke I fell inlove with, who really tries to be a decent person to everyone, who is always trying to make me smile, make my life better,evwn if he still has flaws.
What I'm saying is, I should have called the cops, I sould have drwn my line much quicker: get help or fuck off. Because feeling threatened is a first step in what will become abussive. And even though it's been many years, sometimes I still remeber that helpless feeling. And I have moves on, but will never forget. It's smth that still tarnishes our otherwise good marriage.
Hope this helps , hope you draw your line quicker than me. Best of luck. X

@user1972548274
I'm sorry if you misunderstood the meaning behind my posts, I was honestly just sharing my story in a very late and dark time of night, under no circumstances should op put up with any violence or stay in any relationship where she is very unsafe.
Her post resonated with me as she stated he had no been physically violent and they didn't have form for angry interactions with police involvement, i just wanted to share my story with op as it is absolutely awful to be sat alone in the dead of night trying to make sense of something that escalated quickly, and ended abruptly.
At no point have I told op to stay with her DH, but i did offer comfort that she is not alone in her experience with what happened, and some people knee jerk reactions could be LTB when thing aren't always black and white.
Absolutely she should leave if this becomes a major problem, underlying issues are not addressed, violence escalates, her DCs are in trouble of any kind because of thier actions towards each other or a whole more myriad of reasons

My sincerest apologies if my posts did not reflect the severity of having to call the police and potential outcomes of doing so. I just wanted to offer my support and story in the dead of night.