Inexplicable things your child does

[JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff]

My toddler son has recently taken to carefully removing all the books he can reach from the bookshelves, stacking them neatly on the floor, sigh, and return them to the shelf, commenting dolefully "heavy book" from time to time.

It's like Sisyphus, but self-inflicted. Why?

He also hugs bus stops, murmuring "my best friend" affectionately.

And he has recently started having Jekyll n Hyde style personality transformations where he suddenly announces that he is now called Pan-dank and rampages around being destructive, before stopping (" I DSname now again").

What utterly weird things do your children do?

Years of pretending to be a dog, refusing to be taught to ride a 2 wheeler bike (eventually let her "aunts" do it), refusing to get changed after PE in school - particularly socks

Hahaha my 7yo has ASD and nearly everything he does is a mystery. He's non-verbal, would be interested to see the world through his eyes.

Ha..mine's 23 tomorrow..autistic (but verbal) and has eaten his headboard... foam, leather... eats receipts, plastic bottle tops... (tothe detriment of his beautiful teeth sadly)... he can't explain WHY....

@StillMedusa I hope your DS has a lovely birthday.

When my DS was 2 I found him reading a story to our mop 🤷

My 3 year old was annoyed I addressed her with the wrong name this morning but then again how the fuck was I meant to know she was “Bingo dressed as Kitty Princess Sofia.”

Both of mine have called themselves different names at some stage.
Oldest DD called herself and only answered to “Big Bad Barry” for 6 weeks when almost 3 then picked another name each day/week for a further 3 months (She was Dirty Burty the bus, Gabin, Harriet, trixibelle, Froggy, Toast, princess Rainbow and many others)
Then suddenly she refused to answer to anything that wasn’t her given name.

Dd1 refused to say anything but woof until she was well over 2. Caught her lapping out of the dogs water bowl and asleep in their basket

My eldest randomly lets out really loud, unsettling shouts.

DD is 16 and she still draws all over herself. She's really arty and great at drawing and sketching so maybe it's an extension of that, who knows.

DS is 12 but when he was smaller he went through a phase of refusing to brush his teeth unless he was sat in the laundry bin.

DS, 20 months, carried a radish (from his lunch) around all afternoon while playing. He was pretty careful with it, I was both confused and impressed.

My 20 month old waves into thin air... we joke that we must have a ghost!

DS is 12 but when he was smaller he went through a phase of refusing to brush his teeth unless he was sat in the laundry bin.

🤣 🤣

This thread is brilliant!

DS3 currently refers to me as Iron Man, DH as The Hulk and himself as Captain America. Obviously a 3 year old has never actually seen the avengers but he has a bag with the characters on it. He's fully committed to it at all times.

My youngest was convinced he would grow up to be a horse. I used to set up "jumps" in the garden for him and he would gallop at them. My middle one once made me a lovely mother's Day breakfast involving sherbet dip dabs and a solo serenade of "dude looks like a lady". The older one had a designated "spy costume" comprising one of my cardigans and a pair of tights.

My dc:

Tearing tissue paper or paper into small pieces. Mostly 3 onwards.still likes to do it and shes 9.

Reordering things, books, colouring pens into groups etc. That was mostly at 4 to 5.
Went through a stage of whispering back to self last few words said out loud to herself. She outgrew this. That was around 6 to 8 maybe

Drink milk, water, juice with a spoon. Shes 9 and still does it.

Mrs fruitcake i still draw on myself sometimes. My daughter, too.

As in my daughter draws on herself sometimes. I dont draw on her.

My 7yo is extremely messy- needs a lot of encouragement to keep her bedroom tidy, put away her toys etc.
I found her dirty pyjamas hung up in her wardrobe recently (while her clean discarded dresses were on the floor)- so they didn't get creased apparently.

She also insists on taking a bag on gloves on walks in case of litter which I'm fine about- but she's just so messy at home!

DS 20 months carry around a sponge with him. We don't know why but he's quite attached to it.
He also likes to put a bowl on his head and then tip it off and say "ta da" like a showman.
He also walks sideways like a crap quite a lot of the time... Almost like a footballer warming up before a match! God love him

DD has just discovered marching on the spot, usually when a certain type of music comes on. She just stands there, marching.

@ThwartYourChub "Dude looks like a lady" made me lol.

Two year old DD refers to herself as the queen - “The queen would like some yoghurt now” etc. No idea.

DS1 went through a stage when he would follow the contour of everything in the street when we were out shopping. So he would ooze round walls, shop doorways, street furniture, and if I wasn't watchful, dark alleys and long driveways. Each outing took forever.
The only way to get him out of the bath was to pull the plug, which led to much sliding about and the same long shouty song every day.

DS1 went through about three months of kissing ladies hands when introduced (toddlers his own age at the time up to DH’s then boss). He was about 2 so luckily everyone he did it to just thought he was being delightful.

I distinctly remember being in reception, we were doing a class rendition of 'Jack and Jill' and I just started shouting it for no reason! I was a painfully shy child so I can't explain why I would have done that. Cringe.