I am so cripplingly lonely

[confusedoften]

Just that.

I have a tiny group of friends, one of whom lives in another country.
My best and closest friend is in a relationship and disappears every evening when her boyfriend comes round.
I text my sister quite a bit but we see things differently so she's always just telling me to buck up.

I'm desperately in love with a man who doesn't love me back and I'm trying my hardest to break away from that and move on.

I spend my evenings at home doing stuff or nothing because I'm so lonely.

I'm a single mum to 2 kids, EOW their with their dad.

I'm so lonely it hurts.
I've basically sat and cried all evening.

Sorry you're feeling so lonely. It sounds like we have similar situations, do you work during the day? How old are your DC?

I was furloughed til the end of my contract which won't be renewed.
Mine are 6&8.

I've always been fairly happy on my own and with my own company but it's night after night of sitting here waiting for sleep so I can do it again tomorrow.

So find a way to meet popel how about volunteering with a food bank. Doing a virtual book club with some online mates.At the moment our choices are limited and so many will be in your boat, but it is a good opportunity to research what is going on which you could get involved with.

Book club is a good idea.
I can't volunteer anywhere right now cos of the kids.

Thanks for replies

I hear yah. It's amazing how many of us are in the same boat. Anxiety is keeping me awake tonight.

Hope you're ok

It sucks. I don't even know how I ended up so lonely.

Hope everyone is doing ok.
I try to meet people but it rarely seems to stick.
Maybe I'm destined for loneliness?

Where I moved to everyone is friends with their families or people they went to school with - no-one really seems to form new friendships. To be honest I love my own company but it's finely balanced - I can very easily tip over to feeling very lonely vulnerable and exposed.

I’m in exactly the same boat. I’ve never really had any real friends to speak of. No one to talk to over zoom in lockdown, a few online ‘friends’ but no true friendships. I tell myself it doesn’t matter and it isn’t important, but it is, and it hurts. You aren’t the only one who feels this way.

to everyone x

Where are you based op? You could see if there’s any groups or meets that regularly happen in that area and if not then maybe consider organising one ( post lockdown obviously)

Where do you live op? I hate to think of anyone being lonely. Please don't xxx

Op I'm trying to send you a message but I don't know how

I finally fell asleep!

I'm in north London.

Blinkyblinky - I've no idea either! I don't think you can do that on the app?

I feel exactly the same OP. I don't have children. In love with a man who doesn't want me. Been single for years and all my friends (I don't have many) are married with children. It is so lonely. I have very recently suffered a family bereavement and it feels even worse, to have no one to turn to, to give me a hug.

You have your children! I thought yoi were self isolating alone with no children or family. You have a lot going, see it glass half full and get some hobbies or books or projects to occupy you.

I have my kids sure, but once they go to bed, I sit there watching tv or doing chores and it is lonely.
Quiet and lonely.

Lock down has made my world very small too. I'm furloughed so my children are my only company. We go to see my mum for half an hour social distance chat in the garden. But other than that I don't see anyone.

Thankfully lock down has changed and I met with a friend in the garden for an hour on Friday. It made such a difference. And I got out with the children yesterday.

You aren't alone. My children don't see their dad more than a few hours here and there so my options are limited and lack of funds make it hard to socialise in normal times.

I count my blessings as much as I can and enjoy this time with the children. They will be off doing their own thing soon enough.

I think it's quite dismissive for someone who talks about being lonely to be told, "you have your children".

Of course people have and love their children but children are no substitute for adult interpersonal relationships! More than that, they shouldn't be. Relying on children to meet your own emotional needs is a form of abuse.

Sensitivesubjectmatter - thanks for saying that. I often hear that and I feel I'm supposed to be completely fulfilled by my children, like my life is complete and I'm ungrateful.
I end up feeling like a terrible mum. Like I don't love them enough if I'm not totally fulfilled by them.

I love them to death. I would literally jump in front of a car for them (and some days because of them...(big Jessica forteskwe fan)) but they don't complete me and I often feel like I'm failing because of that.

It's like, I really need a hug, and I get SD and we can't hug ppl, but everyone says 'hugs your kids!' And I'm like, I hug them all day long. My son is physically attached me most hours of the day and night.
But it's not the same as being enveloped by an adult and feeling that physical comfort and security.

Have been thinking of you today, OP, are you ok?

Thank you!!

I'm ok. I FaceTimed my sister and sis in law tonight and that lifted my spirits.

Gin helped too 🤗

I have you tried online dating op?
People use it for whatever they feel like, and for many that's just some text banter of an evening. Or more if you fancy it.

I did! Which is where I met the guy I'm stupidly in love with.
So I've backed down from that.

I love him, he knows. He isn't reciprocating. Ugh.
I need to get good with me first again. I just today cancelled all my dating apps. Because it feels mean to be matching with no intention to meet.

Thanks tho

That is very wise of you op. Far more sensible than my strategy (of getting over finished dates by immediately starting another, thus circle continues) which will ultimately see you better.