I am so cripplingly lonely

[confusedoften]

Just that.

I have a tiny group of friends, one of whom lives in another country.
My best and closest friend is in a relationship and disappears every evening when her boyfriend comes round.
I text my sister quite a bit but we see things differently so she's always just telling me to buck up.

I'm desperately in love with a man who doesn't love me back and I'm trying my hardest to break away from that and move on.

I spend my evenings at home doing stuff or nothing because I'm so lonely.

I'm a single mum to 2 kids, EOW their with their dad.

I'm so lonely it hurts.
I've basically sat and cried all evening.

I think being in love with someone who isn't in love with you is extremely lonely - it exacerbates all those feelings so much. It's so painful and I'm sorry he doesn't feel the same way. If I can give you any advice it's cut him off completely if that's possible (you might work with him!) - rip the plaster off and have no contact. It's hard but it's the quickest way to getting past him and working on yourself. There are other nice men out there and you will feel this way for someone who does love you back one day but you have to get yourself in the best position to meet them.

I think we all just have to get through the days atm. I am so desperate for a hug too, it's so painful. When this is all over I'd really recommend joining a small choir if you can, they are amazing at reducing how lonely you feel and they're usually full of nice people. Singing makes you feel good too because it makes you smile and it makes you feel connected. If you're feeling happier you'd then be in a better position to meet a nice partner.

It's hard at this stage in life to find people open to new friendships. I would like someone to ask me to the cinema/ theatre/ cafe but even people I thought were friends I am always the one asking and it is never reciprocated. They are always busy with other people/ children.
I get the hint and stop bothering them after a while.
Conversely I sometimes attract people who want too much of my time and seem to get jealous if I casually talk to anyone else in a group setting.
I'm a bit of a prickly pear though and guess I need to be a bit more open minded.
I'm planning to join some clubs when the kids go back to school and things get back to normal.

May sound a bit odd but I would get a dog. You can spend the weekends going out for nice walks, beach, woods especially when things to back to normal. It can open up a whole new social group for you.

Hope you're feeling better this morning op, I find things always feel a hell of a lot worse at night when it's dark and quiet outside - far too much time to overthink 😞. I've been there with the loneliness so I totally understand.

Thanks all.

I considered a pet but we live in a tower block, so it doesn't seem fair. And my life style is such that when the kids are with their dad I tend to take little trips around the UK and again, it wouldn't be fair to any animal to leave it alone.

The evenings are definitely worse. That's when partnered people disappear from texting. And the silence is deafening.

I'm going to look into group activities when lockdown is eased enough for that. A choir or art class or something like that.

Hope everyone else is coping ok!!

Am in a similar situation although my unrequited love is long in the past. I haven't felt lonely until lockdown. Dating feels like another task I don't have time for that would add a lot of stress a d juggling and I'm afraid of how it could turn out. I just want a normal family life with a partner that's like a comfy old shoe.

A comfy old shoe!!! That's how it felt with my guy.
But he was scared of my kids so he fought his feelings and hesitated until I couldn't take it anymore.
And I have to think, if he's happy to continue as it was with no commitment etc, there would come a time when he would meet someone new and I don't want to be around to watch that. It's hard cos he also became my best friend.

But yes, dating just seems exhausting and my heart isn't in it so it's a lot of meeting up for the sake of it when I force myself to and then I just feel degraded