Is my baby gifted?

[Daddynotmummy84]

Hi all. First time poster, long time lurker.
With this being my first child, and the current issues making it difficult to compare my son to other babies development, I thought I'd ask for opinions here. A little of where my boy is at. He's 17 months, almoat outgrowing his 18-24 month clothes (bloody expensive). He can speak around 80 spoken words and 40ish in sign language. He's able to stack things really well (his best so far was 14 blocks). When it comes to puzzles etc he does the shapes in the slots really easy, same with the animal pizzles etc. Also, he only has to see you do something once, occasionally twice, and he can do it himself (within limits obviously). To this extent he now has to have his own tool kit and power drill out when I do DIY to do his own little project. He feeds himsel, helpa with food preparation, loads and unloads the washer and drier, even walks around picking up bits of rubbish to put in the bin or pulls the vaccum out and uses it (it's always on, the plug is behind a secure lock so he can't get to it. What I want to know, is this normal for a kid his age?
Oh, I feel I should mention he was crawling at 4 months, walking at 7 and a half months. At 9 months he wasn't speaking, other than the odd word, but could make 3 worded sentences with sign language.

Lots of Mums think their kids are gifted - we had a few that could write a few words and had a good vocabulary by the start of school, but were lagging by the end of KS1, and others that were average but picked up a bit later and are now heading for Russell Group unis.

You just can't tell at that age.

DS1 couldn't speak til he was 2 years old (ASD) but is about to start 4 A levels.

This question always results in a pile on, OP.

I think it’s because the OPs are inevitably seen as saying ‘my kid’s better than yours’., and no-one likes that!

No idea whether this little boy is gifted or not, but when I look at the world around me, I’ve realised that the vast majority of people end up average. All these children in primary school with special talents, academic, sport, music etc (which should be wholeheartedly encouraged) - what happens to them? Some make it, but most just end up living a, hopefully happy, but ordinary life.

The vacuuming sounds great!

On MN however, he merely sounds average 

And if he doesn't have a job earning over £50k a year, he's deffo a failure according to MN.

Lulu, if so, my bad, and I apologies. I do tend to take everything seriously. I've read it as she has given him toy one, not a real one. But I am always a fool. And I'd rather be, than doubt a genuine poster.

If he is doing the washing and can't fit into his clothes, you may want to talk to him about heat settings, as it sounds like he is using a boil wash and causing shrinkage.

Just adding to the voices of "wait and see"
I think you are getting a hard time.

He has such a long way to go, just make sure he has a loving, secure environment and he will flourish. Whether he ends up "gifted" really doesn't matter.

My DC are grown up. DD26 showed very early promise, was identified in reception as being "very bright" and put in their accelerated reading programme. She did well at school and uni and now works in the civil service on foreign policy research, intelligent, but not "gifted"
DD23 was slow to speak and had learning support in KS1. She now has an Aerospace Engineering degree.

@Newjez

If he is doing the washing and can't fit into his clothes, you may want to talk to him about heat settings, as it sounds like he is using a boil wash and causing shrinkage.

He's certainly advanced for his age, but being ahead at this stage doesn't mean he'll stay ahead. Dd was one of those children who spoke almost like an adult at a freakishly early age. At 14 she's still very bright, but within perfectly normal levels.

Be careful what you wish for my DC was as good as yours OP at 18 months, now 20+ years later with many A* GCSEs and 4 at A level, followed by place at one of the top universities in the country he gets by working in a bar and has no ambition.

Doing washing is something my ds has never done, but trying to fold it and put it into piles was what my ds did, not at 17 months but around 3 years old, without prompting. Sorting it into socks underwear, shirts, mummy's, daddies, his. I still have photo of him proudly presenting all those clothes he folded on the sofa. I was truly gob smacked, and thought my dc was something special.

He does sound more able than the average 17 month old! The tricky part is how to nurture that ability to learn quickly so that it serves them well in later years.

OP, these kinds of posts do not go down well. What you describe is a baby advanced for his age. However, all kids have their talents and things that they are gifted in. You will know what areas your son is gifted in, and you don't need to turn to online forums to get validation on this.

You are getting a hard time OP, but your post is pretty ridiculous and will
annoy people. You have a baby. One. Take it from me, in ten years time you will see someone else write the same post on Mumsnet or wherever and you will see the ridiculousness of it then

Cracking stuff!
My son will be 21 (YEARS not months!) next month and never spoken a word in his life!!!

Very few people are genuinely gifted academically. DH really is and to quote Sheldon his Mother had him IQ tested as a kid and it was off the scale. He is now a research scientist and his research has possibly saved millions of lives. So his science gift has been super useful. DS is for sure really clever but not as clever as his Father, DH Mother has always said parenting him was incredibly hard. DH hardly spoke a word till he was almost four.

Soontobe60 schools have the gifted and talented register, DS was on it, I didn’t take much notice. It’s just the top % of dc results wise.

You can't pass your husband off as your toddler no matter how hard you try Karen.

One of my children was similar as a baby OP. He is a pre-schooler now and definitely bright but I wouldn't say out of the normal range of abilities. If your baby is gifted the best thing you can do is help them to have really good emotional wellbeing and social skills. I've taught one really gifted child and they struggled so much socially.

I had a lot of comments about ds2 being gifted when he was little. He did everything early and talked more than other babies/toddlers. Started teaching to read at age 2 by watching his big sister, etc etc.

Well this 'gifted' child is top end of primary now. Still bloody talks more than other children - top volume and doesn't shut up. He's very bright but has possible adhd and/or asd - social difficulties, emotionally immature, struggles to do school work even though iq-wise he easily could. Inflexible, thinks he knows everything... I could go on...

He is a gorgeous boy but way more challenging than his lovely big sis who is perfectly intelligent but more 'normal' and functions well in school and socially. She is easy company and really funny.

So as others have said, be careful what you wish for!

No way are you a long time lurker. If you were, you would know how threads like these turn out.

Not sure, my dc was seemingly bright, knew whole abc counted to 100 before school could spell name etc have videos of her counting wooden blocks up to 50 aged 2 . Got to school and she couldn't believe the selection of dolls available in reception. Every report said will only play and avoids any academic work. Didn't read gifted anywhere on them from memory

I have a sibling with an IQ of 166 - very clever (wrote lyrics and music for a musical when 13) but I don't' think you would think them more than fiercely intelligent if you met them (and yet somehow a sandwich short of a picnic in some areas of life and common sense). MH problems all adult life too so sometimes cleverness comes at a price.

One and a half year old, wouldn't say gifted but the word count is impressive.

OP, mumsnet is not the place for this. On mumsnet, thinking your child is gifted is one of the biggest social mistakes. It feeds into some strange British ideal of pretend mediocrity. My middle child was very ahead as a young child. I once made the post asking advice here about sibling rivalry when the youngest was ahead of the oldest on nearly everything. I was hammered, and this was 10 years ago. Just wait until you have to hide his reading level book on the school yard so all the other mothers don't tut at you (Really, this happens). I was once asked how I "made" him so good at maths". I responded that I had sex with his very geeky father. The impression is that if your kid is bright, it is because you are pushing them in a distasteful way.

Your son does sound very bright. It is hard to tell how these things work out. My advice is just to meet him where he is and help him follow his interests. They tend to develop in fits and starts. The super smart ones sometimes have a host of mental health issues alongside.

Middle child is still a very capable student, and achieves A* with little effort in academic subjects, but he is a pretty normal teen who prefers to play rugby and xbox. He demanded to attend the comp and not the selective independent school. He has picked up on these cultural issues around intelligence and plays his down. He was also a very anxious, sensitive, little boy with serious tics. I have worried more over him than the other two kids. It hasn't been an easy path for him, and I am just relieved that he is happy and well adjusted today. Today is good. As parents, a lot of our family decisions have been around giving him a very, very stable childhood.

My other son was not as precocious, but he is a worker. He will probably have more measured achievements than the really smart one, who is a bit lazy.

My DS was very advanced as a toddler (didn't have his own power drill though 😂). Due to his 'special abilities' he was diagnosed with Asperger's type autism at age 4. At school he is able to memorize the entire lesson - he is incredible at maths and able to discuss very adult topics of conversation. He is 5 and throughout lockdown has been very interested in the prime minister's press conferences etc.

He is also still not able to dress himself properly, hold his pen properly, make friends, sleep through the night, regulate his emotions, and his reading/writing skills are so far behind his peers. Like many other PPs have said, it's all swings and roundabouts.

Your baby sounds delightful. All babies are gifted in different ways. Try not to compare him to others, you'll probably find there are ways he is way ahead of others and ways he is behind them and then you'll drive yourself crazy worrying. There is a huge range of normal.

One thing to watch out for with a physically large toddler is that other people might unconsciously expect him to behave in a more mature way than his real age and he may not always be able to live up to that. Which could be stressful for him.

It's lovely that he wants to join in and copy what you do and help but do be extra careful with food prep and keep a very close eye on him - he shouldn't be too close to sharp knives or heat sources, and watch out for putting things in his mouth, choking hazards etc. A small child who seems responsible and "wouldn't do that" can suddenly revert to type with no warning at all. And he hasn't reached the "Terrible Twos" yet, you may be in for a bit of a shock when he does!