2 under 2?

[SquatterButNosh]

So I’ve just had an early BFP and if all works out (fingers crossed) I will have a 20 month old when new child arrives.

So what is life like with 2 under 2? And what pushchair would you recommend for a toddler and a newborn?

Any tips in general?

I realise I may be getting ahead of myself but it took years to get pregnant with DC1 so I’m enjoying the moment.

Is the silence a lesson to appreciate my quiet time now ?

shameless bump

Mine are a year and 5 days apart.
Did not plan it.
It was awful. Terrible. But then on these threads I’m always in the minority.
They are 8 and 9 now and I’m still waiting for them to become best friends like everyone else’s close born children

Mine are 19 months apart. Youngest is 6 months. It's fine. Not easy but definitely not hell. Loads of laundry. Loads of nappies. It's tough when they're both crying but that doesn't happen much. I've used my sling everyday, sometimes all day, only just started putting youngest in the buggy with her big sister. Youngest adores the oldest and oldest is starting to enjoy having a sister.

Do you want the truth?

It was tough going. Family support was limited so we used paid for childcare which massively helped.

Prioritise sleep patterns however best you can - if you're well rested the day is easier.

I liked a double side by side buggy. I also liked a single buggy and sling.

Make friends with soft play. Anywhere that has a secure ish car park.

Teaching the eldest to put a hand on the car to stay stationary whilst you load the youngest one was helpful.

You're so lucky. I miss my squishy babies!

16 months between mine. I never bought a double buggy, I just put the 16 month old on toddler reins and let her walk beside the pram. She soon got sturdy little legs.
Similarly I only had one cot, so DD1 had a “big girl’s bed” from 15 months, so we could have the cot ready for the new arrival. For safety, the “bed” was just the mattress part on the floor for the first six months, so she couldn’t fall out and hurt herself. We added the base later.
Luckily I won a baby car seat in a magazine competition, so didn’t need to get a second one of those either!
The one thing we did get (MIL bought it for us) was a big Dutch wooden playpen. Ideal for safely containing toddler away from baby or vice versa when I needed the loo or to answer the door.
Having both DC in nappies meant a lot of time on my knees on the changing mat, but on the plus side you get it all over with in one fell swoop - no starting again from scratch when the older one has been toilet trained for years, as you have with a bigger age gap.
Also, when they're v close in age, they can play the with the same games and toys, and like the same outings. Trying to please both a teen and a toddler is much harder.

Here goes anyway... it’s bloody hard. All consuming. I remember crying at 5am whilst they screamed. I couldn’t get either to sleep (they were ill) and they were tag teaming on me screaming. I look back and was way too unrealistic on my 1st - I expected them to understand when the other needed something.
It depends how good your partner is. I was so tired that I was in survival mode more than living mode.

They bicker every day and fight over toys. They’re jealous of each other.

And yet.... separate them for an hour and they pine for each other. They wouldn’t have it any other way. Neither would I!

I had a similar gap and honestly for me it was great.

I lived in an area where I could walk everywhere and the sling was my best friend for the baby so I would have hands free to chase the toddler around the playground. I had a double buggy and used it a bit but mostly used the sling and single pram.

Good luck and enjoy, it's full on but the tricky bits pass in a whirlwind of love and crazy toddler antics.

18 months difference here. Actually planned that way to get it over and done with . It was a bit like running a private nursery for a while - nappies and bottles seemed to be a constant for a while and then suddenly they werent.
They ended up being more like twins and although not bosom buddies they are friends while they are together but have completely different sets of friends and interests. This is a good thing I think as they arent competing with each other.
Weirdest thing was that some of their teachers thought of them as twins even though they were in different year groups.

17 months difference with my two and it was good. Hard work but good and they get on great. Just make sure you've got a good routine in place.

Firstly congratulations!

I had 19 months between my dd's. Getting pregnant first time took ages and as I'm a bit older felt we should get a move on if we wanted number 2 , happened in 4 months.

When dd2 was a newborn it was fine, easier than pregnant with an 16 month old. It did get harder but dd2 had various gastro issues. I second a previous poster, prioritise sleep. Whatever you need to do, let the housework go to shit, rely on others to help with food etc, just get some sleep! We moved dd1 into 'big girl' bed before dd2 arrived so she was prepared. Dd2 never slept still doesn't but we all have double beds so I sleep where I lie.

I wouldn't change a thing although god it was tough, but now, it's all worth it. They fight like cat and dog and 2 minutes later they are best of friends.

Enjoy and what will be will be x

Oh gosh! A proper mixed bag of opinions.

I’m a little worried as DC1 is the easiest child and has been sleeping through since 4 months old (10-6am) and then 7-7 from 7 months old, so I’m thinking this one might be karma

I never really got on with a sling with DC1 so will definitely be getting a double buggy, unless she gets better at walking.

I appreciate it is going to be hard work, but I’m so excited and still in shock! Thanks for the honesty!

It was hard, I look back now and see friends with a 3 or 4 year gap and think how lucky they are to spend that time one on one with the baby. Obviously I got that with number 1 but theres 16 months between mine and I feel like I missed out on the eldest being a toddler and the youngest being a baby as it was just a whole load of putting out fires (not literally!) and trying to keep ourselves in a reasonable routine otherwise we would never have got anything done. I always used to try and get out in the morning to a group so I'd feel like we achieved something then try to get them to nap in the afternoon.

I had a P&T double a lot of people hate them as they are tandem not side by side but it worked great for us and I never had trouble getting on a bus or anything, my eldest used to love popping out from the bottom seat and making people jump. They are now 3 and 4 and they fight a lot but they have similar interests, friends and can play nicely together.

I had 20 months between mine. I had an out and about nipper double who Co I would highly recommend. I used the carrycot whenever my youngest was a baby. She loved being held though so a sling was an essential for her.

I found the first few months easy enough tbh. I mean of course there was the lack of sleep etc but the baby was easy compared to the toddler.

But, she sat up independently at 4 months and it was a bit of a roller coaster from there on 😂

I had a very strict routine of the things we did and the times we worked to. I’m sure people thought I was mad but my husband worked long hours and my family and friends were all overseas.

They are 5 and 3.5 now and honestly I think they’d be lost without each other. They really do like each other (although they fight like cat and dog too), and they are into the same things etc, it makes things a lot easier.

Be prepared to look and feel like shit for a good year though, you will come through it... if it helps I’m now pregnant with #3 😂

23 months here. It was ok - I don’t know any different really. I found a newborn and a toddler way easier than being heavily pregnant with a toddler. DC1 was a difficult baby and is a difficult child so that will have affected things. Like everything it’s just about finding your rhythm. DC1 remained in nursery 4 mornings a week which really helped us. It gave the day structure. There were plenty of tears, plenty of times I completely lost my shit. They fight all the time but are still very close. Today was the first day youngest went back to nursery and there were tears from the big one. Which is odd because he spends his whole time being a complete shit to the younger one!

Mine aren't as close, dd2 was born about 8 weeks ago when dd1 was 2yrs 5 months.

Didn't need a pram for two as dd1 walks or scoots everywhere with us, happily walking over an hour at least once a day ( that's all we can do at the moment anyway).

Dd1 loves being a big sister and is very interested in the baby.

Dd1 is also a good sleeper, sleeps 12 hours a night. Dd2 obviously it's early days but went from getting up twice in the night to once at 5 weeks and now either sleeps through or is up once depending on when she falls asleep- sleeps 7 hours before waking now. I think sleeping is mainly genetic so would be surprised if your next baby was an awful sleeper (not that some stranger on the internet being a bit surprised would be at all helpful in that situation!! )

Congratulations 🙂

Thanks for the congratulations. It appears that most of you wouldn’t change it for the world.

Fingers crossed the next one is a good sleeper then Chiki!

After trying for so long the first time, I’m just so shocked it’s happened without even trying this time.

And as for looking and feeling like shit for the best part of a year, lockdown has been good practice

20 months between my two, DD (the older of the two) was a dream baby but DS screamed day and night for the first 7/8 months. Once they were out of toddlerhood they became a tag team, they fought like cat and dog but loved each other and would defend each other to the death. They are now 28 and 29 and still close friends.

I had 3 under 4, the youngest 2 being 15 months apart. I wont lie at the start it was pretty relentless. Not much sleep or time for anything but as theyve grown older it's so much easier, they tend to entertain each other (and I appreciate it's not the same for everyone) the nappies and sleepless nights are a distant memory

18 months between my oldest two. When they were little it was manic and I felt like I never slept.
I found things much easier to have a routine. Still waiting for them to have a close relationship now they are teens though.

I have a 15 month age gap. The first 6 months or so were fine. Helped that I had a relatively easy baby so fed/slept well and was generally laid back(of course there were stressful moments!!). I'm finding it more difficult now that they're 1 and 2. Both running around causing chaos at the same time!! But I'm delighted to have them close in age.

Oh and the out and about double is definitely worth the investment. I had an icandy orange double at the start- waaaay to heavy and awkward. The out and about was a revelation, I can push it one handed

Honestly? Fucking chaos and carnage and all things hellish for the first 12 months (we have a 13 month exactly gap). I barely remember the first year of DC2's life.

A 20 month gap would probably have been easier though as DD would've been walking by then. Though still 2 in nappies!

It's great now they're almost 6 and 7; they're great pals. But, yeah, sodding hard work initially (I went back to work full time when DC2 was 5 months' old too).

15 months apart here. I love them to bits but life is shit.

I have a 22 month gap, and DC2 is now 6mo. Obviously lockdown has made life a little more... interesting than planned, as we usually have nursery and family support.

The first 4 months were a blur, but around 4m1w it was like a switch flicked and somehow everything slotted into place. I slept in baby’s room and we had a white noise machine so although I did all the night wakings (EBF), DH dealt with DC1 and we couldn’t hear that, which helped a lot as I sometimes got an extra hour or two of sleep in the morning. It did affect my marriage though, or at least my perception of it (DH is far less fickle and emotional than I am!) but I’d still do it over again if I had the chance because it saved my sleep as much as possible. We’re now sleep training, which I didn’t do with DC1, as I need to be well rested to parent them both well- especially my energetic toddler- whereas with DC1 I could “sleep when baby sleeps”.

We used a sling a lot with DC1 but DC2 was almost 5kgs at birth so that put paid to that idea as I was killing my back. We have an Uppababy Vista. It’s an absolute beast tbh, really heavy, so I’m not sure I’d recommend it particularly. Gives me a workout, at least...!

We had 2 in nappies for 3-4 months but it wasn’t a big deal tbh and potty training DC1 was a walk in the park at 26m old, during lockdown (so no distractions).

I limit screen time aggressively, partly because I don’t think it’s good for children but also because it’s a powerful tool when it’s a genuine treat! Has been very useful with DH WFH, and us needing to keep the noise down.

Currently we go for a 2-3h outing every morning without fail, and DC2 is still napping. We’ve also kept him in his cot and he was still in sleeping bags until 26m, as I have no desire to start any battles about him staying in bed. Having said that, he never tried or tries to escape, otherwise we’d have to change for safety reasons.

Overall, I was very apprehensive before DC2’s arrival, but it’s all been quite smooth and I adore them. It’s magical to watch them begin to interact without my input, too. Congratulations!