I can't keep up with my washing. Am so ashamed.

[Conspiracy3]

Firstly I have really bad depression. Anxiety. Other mental health issues at play (personality disorder)

Family of 7.

Ive tried today to sort it and I have about 12 baskets of washing to do.

I'm sat here crying my eyes out. I just can't do it.

Even when I have a huge sort out it just piles up again.

The kids SEEM to have too many clothes but then the older ones have a growth spurt and need more and stuff gets passed down.

There's bags and baskets of washing everywhere.
I don't drive so can't go laundrette.

I just want to have a bonfire and burn it all and be nudists

I'm so embarrassed. So ashamed.

I just can't keep on top of it

I don’t bother sorting whites, coloureds etc. never had a problem! Everyone has their own wash basket. So you do a wash full of one persons stuff then that can get put in their bedroom to put away. No sorting (still putting away but the older ones can do their own).

Do you have a partner or are you a single parent? Sorry if you've said and I've missed it.

Whichever way you can afford to do it, I would either pay someone to clear the backlog or take a taxi to the launderette and use a few of the huge washers and dryers (possibly even a service wash thingy if they're running now?) so that it's done. It doesn't matter what people think, there's a pandemic, for all anyone knows you could have been shielding for the last 10 weeks and this is your first opportunity to get out.

From there, make your life as easy as possible. At the end of the day, everyone puts their dirty washing in the machine (my 18m old does this every night after dinner) and it gets turned on. Stick it all in together with the exception of any new darks (new jeans etc) and whites (school shirts etc). Once it's done, chuck it in the dryer. Whites can go in on a separate wash as required. I chuck new jeans that are likely to run in with my towels which are either dark or old enough that I don't care anyway.

Following morning, once everyone is up and sorted any dirty towels, etc can go in and go on. Fold yesterday's laundry into individual piles and put on each kids bed to be put away. Chuck towels etc. in dryer when done. Repeat in the evening - dirty clothes in the wash, fold and put away towels, put clean washing in dryer.

Bedding - try and have one bed change day of the week. Get the kids to do this as much as possible. This is something that may be good to outsource if you have 2 sets for everyone and can afford to do so.

Most importantly, are you getting any help with your mental health?

I'd agree with someone else who said wash all the undies in one go - then they can all go away. Make the kids have a game of finding all their own knickers and socks, then pairing up their socks etc.

Going forward maybe do a wash per person, so you know it can all go back in that person's cupboard afterwards?

Also maybe lower your standards - kid's beds can be aired, but don't 'need' to be washed each week, etc.

Good luck!

I’ve faced that mountain. You need to break it down into digestible chunks.

Running it through the machines is the easy part. Well, it strains my middle aged back a bit, but even tiny kids are great at moving laundry in and out of the machines, I just do the soap and settings. The real time sink is the sorting and folding afterward.

My big tip is to sort it before it goes in. I do this with separate hampers now, but for the moment, dump it all out on the floor and have the kids sort it with a separate pile for each person. Then wash by person, or two if you must combine. It makes folding and delivering so much faster.

Take the opportunity to have a good sort out. Anything that is too small or unwanted for whatever reason can be bagged up and left to wash another time, before sending to the recycling centre.

Then sort what's left into piles:

1. Stuff that is needed urgently (underwear, socks, tshirts, shorts etc)
2. Stuff that's needed but not right away (long sleeved tops, jeans etc)
3. Stuff you want to keep but which is not current season (woolly jumpers, jackets etc.

Then do a couple of loads each day, starting with pile 1 and progressing into 2 and 3 as you get through it. Add new washing into the correct piles each day so you catch up.

(I just went through this exercise with my ironing which was threatening to take over the house).

Ah OP I hear you! I hate washing. It sits in the utility room where I can’t see it and it piles up. There is five in my house.

If I was you I’d have a big coffee and get stuck in.

Your gonna have to get the kids involved it’s a big job.

Just start getting it it washed and dried, in the drier or out side.

When it’s done tip it all in the living room and sit together and put them all in piles whilst getting rid of stuff that’s never going to be worn again and send to charity shop or tip.

I hear you though! Washing is the only household chore I hate!

Pick put 3 days of outfits for everyone including socks and undies. Wash those yourself and dry, fold and put away. Then send all the rest to the laundrette.

When it comes back from the laundrette have 3 bags ready.

One for clothes you want to keep for hand me downs but dont fit anyone right now.

One for clothes that dont fit, wont be worn or are tattered and
One for clothes that you want to keep and will be worn right now. Hen take the give away bag to a charity shop/give to someone to take to the dump. Put the wrong size clothes in the attic/back of a cupboard and then have a cup of tea

With the last bag of current clothes, sort it by person into piles, then have each person in turn come and choose the clothes they love and will wear. No one is allowed more than 10 outfits total. Then they have to put them away in their room. The rest get added to the hand me down clothes.

If you’re worried about what the taxi driver would think, my dad is a taxi driver and he loved helping people. He would help you carry it and load it into the car, and help you get it all in the laundrette. He would also actively listen to you talk about it, or make sure he didn’t mention it - whatever you brought up. He even goes shopping for people who can’t make it out of the house easily. If you need, you could phone the laundrette - pay a taxi driver to drop it off with the money, then pay a taxi driver to pick it up when it’s ready. That way, you stay at home and it comes back all laundered!

We have a rule of non-white laundry goes straight in the machine, which I keep topped up with powder and detergent. Then, when it’s full, you just shut the door and press ‘on.’ Then all I have to worry about is stuffing it in the dryer - and the white laundry.

Sorry you are so overwhelmed OP. Yes as others said, its just down to getting it done whatever way you can.

The crate idea is a great one.

Do you have a quick wash on your machine? I did actually return a washer as the quick cycle took so long, and swapped it for one with a decent 30 min wash. If i had to put a 2hr load on (which is the normal one) I would never get the washing done either.

Get everyone who is old enough to pitch in. You can even sort it into person piles, so this load if for dc1 for eg and they once its done they fold and put away their own stuff. Once they get the idea of how much is involved in getting stuff washed, dried and put away then they may thing twice about pulling out yet another pair of jeans whereas yesterdays pair were really still ok.

It will never end, that is the washing rule we all have to accept. It just needs to be manageable though.

Don't know how old are your older ones, but if they are secondary age, they must be able to do, don't they? My ds sometimes brings down piles clothes that has been hiding under his bed, I just tell him to wash it himself.

I hate laundry.

Don't judge your self worth by your laundry pile. You are so much more than that. Laundry is bullshit.

Yes to getting the children to help.

Yes to a schedule.

Also look into shortcuts. Every member of my family has one kind of sock. So no scrambling around pairing socks. Each sock goes with every other sock.

I have colour coded laundry baskets. The family have to sort their own laundry into them.

I don't wash sheets and towels as often as mumsnet would have me do. My family has not combusted yet.

Taxi - service wash - home for family chat to ask the kids what they think they can do to help, rest - taxi pick up in the morning.

If you have the money just get it done. Outsourcing is always a perfectly acceptable solution in business!

I double rail and hang as much kids clothes as possible, tops on top rail and trousers on a rail below. It saves loads of folding and finding time and makes it really easy to see sizing too. If there is anywhere in your house to fit a pulley that may help too.

Once you are over this hump look at fly lady and try and get a system going. If the kids will get in and organise even better - they may stick better to a system of their own making. They should be learning how to do their own laundry and teaming up to get dishes done. Don't be their skivvy, you are all a team.

Split piles into colour washes if there is enough and quick wash 40deg blast through it. Don't be tempted to overfill the machine. One of my adaptations is do a daily mixed quick wash of not too dirty stuff, put it in the dryer then next put in a hotter longer dirty wash for stuff that is proper manky. Do bedding all together in small loads so it doesn't tangle on days it can be hung outside or put it over the bannisters and get the windows open - finish off in the dryer to soften it for folding.

When sorting dried clean laundry pull the biggest things out of the pile to fold first, then all the trousers, then all the vests etc - makes it go faster and you get left with an easy pile of small things like socks that you can sit down to sort into pairs. Teach the kids how to do this!

I love doing washing. I love sorting it, watching it go round, hanging it out, watching it blowing on the line, folding it and putting it away. (I only iron cotton shirts btw)

However when my depression got really bad I just couldn't cope with it. It was just one more pressure. I remember looking at a pile and sobbing. But I wouldn't want anyone else doing it for me - that would be too stressful too. Are you getting help with depression? I've been back on Sertraline for the last 4/5 years and have gone from strength to strength.

Are people running out of clothes? If not then it really doesn't matter that much whether clothes are stored in cupboards and drawers or a linen bin. Just because it's there doesn't mean it immediately has to be done. Like others suggest - a wash a day should clear it. Do you have a garden and washing line? At this time of year you can just take it down, fold and put away.

Be kind to yourself xxxx

Ah OP I empathise with it all being a bit much. I find with many tasks, the thought of doing it is far worse than actually getting on with it. Depending on age of DC I'd put a laundry basket in each bedroom and they are then responsible for their loads. You can support if necessary. Get a set routine - Monday I do lights, darks & wool washes, Tuesday ironing, Wednesday towels, Friday items such as socks, pants, pjs that don't need ironing and can go in dryer and then straight away into drawers. I really think a routine for all in your household would help.

Crickey, 7 in a household must generate a mountain of washing! Sheets and towels must be a nightmare in winter!

Don’t try to do it alone. Can you get some of the kids to keep you company and lend a hand? Everything is easier with someone to chat to, it just passes much more quickly.

Agree with those posters that are asking about a quick wash cycle. I have a 45 min cycle that does for almost everything except for towels - most clothes simply aren’t all that dirty! Huge improvement on my previous machine, where the shortest cycle was 1h45

If you have a tumble dryer (which I hope you do with a big household!), tackle towels and other things that can be tumbled first, so they can be in the tumbler while you get the next wash on. Then just go through and just do a socks and undies wash, they dry quickly on the line and are what people most need! That’s probably enough for today. If you can do 2 loads a day you’ll get through the backlog before the weekend. It’s not like you’re having guests at the moment, so who cares about a mountain of washing! I’ve got a lovely big stack in front of my machine at the moment.

If you’ve got 5 kids, unless you had several multiples some of them must be old enough that if they don’t have something they really need they can dig it out and get a wash on. They might grumble, but it won’t do them any lasting harm!

Don’t be ashamed, we all feel like this sometimes. Washing/washing up is never “finished”, which makes us all feel crap at times!

"What will they think?"

Honestly, they won't. They're a launderette. This is what they do. It's just a nice big job to them. At most, they might assume that your washing machine at home packed in a few days ago, or that you've waited until you have a decent load to do rather than make several trips. Frankly, with five kids to look after during lockdown, you deserve a medal for staying sane and other people can think what they like!

Twelve loads is a big job, but it isn't insurmountable. Going forward, get into the habit of sticking a load on first thing - I bring a bag down with me every morning and it goes on a daily quick cycle before I make breakfast, and is ready to be pegged out or shoved in the dryer 45 minutes later. Get your older kids to start pitching in with sorting it once it's dry - make it a challenge to see who can get all their own clothes out of the pile fastest.

If the children are over 5 then it's time to get them onto the washing roster. Every child sorts their own laundry into colours / whites, the older ones then take it in turns to sling it in the machine then put it in the dryer or on the line. No excuses. With 7 in the house there is enough for you to be doing.

Oh, and DH can go on the roster too!

Are your kids happy, fed and safe?
If so, then pat yourself on the back!
You ARE on top of it !
You are on top of the seven most precious and important factors in your life, your Dc.
The washing will get done in good time. Get Dc to help with either the washing or other chores and take it easy.

I had a family of 7 too. LOADS of washing!

I stopped them wearing too many outfits when the washing got too much. They had to wear the same clothes for several days, just change underwear, until I got back on top of the washing again. I didn't have a tumble drier and had to hang everything outside, two rotary lines and a long line down the garden and I would still have stuff on airers and the backs of chairs and radiators!

Put the washing on short washes - it's enough to get most stuff clean and freshened up. Hang it out and put the next load in. Get the stuff outside to dry, hung on lines, chairs whatever. Don't tie up tumble driers you 'll be there all day. When one load is washed, hang it out, in this weather by the time the next load is done at least some of the first load will be dry.

It's an all day job but once you're on top of it, keep on top of it, it's the only way...

Oh, and never iron anything. That way madness lies.

Are all these clothes actually getting worn for at least a whole day, preferably two (excluding underwear or anything very dirty obviously)?

Some people who believe in the laundry fairy are notorious for wearing something for an hour or two, chucking it on the floor and then in the laundry basket. Do not tolerate this sort of behaviour.

Do you have outside space for a washing line? That helps enormously.

Everyone over primary age needs to pull their weight, including your partner if you have one. It is not just your responsibility, everyone wears clothes, so everyone needs to be involved in washing them. Give them all a day when they have to put a load on, and see the job through as far as clean dry clothes distributed back to their rightful owners.

Do anything that desperately needs doing today. For the rest of the days, wash slightly more than is being used. The pile will get gradually smaller.

DO NOT WORRY ABOUT THE PILE. Just do some. You only ever have to do some.

Hey dont be hard on yourself. I have two kids and a partner. My washing basket is over flowing most days. But the kids have plenty to wear! So it's fine.

On sunny days like today pop a load in first thing. Get it pegged out. Then bring it in and have another load washed ready.

Depending on the age of your kids it could become there job to peg it out or sort it into piles.

I hate putting it away. It's hell! But I get it done once a week. I've given up ironing whilst we are isolating. I have started putting the pile on the kids book shelf in their own rooms. They end up wearing half of it again anyway.

You get three different types of cleaners/ tidiers.

You get the ones who hinch, clean for a hobby and dont allow toys and clutter to build up. They make the irritating videos on Instagram of their CIF squirting into the sink and and tick of their chores on their list.

You get hygienic people (this is me) who have mess and washing but the pots are washed and the bathroom is cleaned etc. My house can technically be a tip. It is at some point most days but it gets sorted.

Or you get really dirty horror homes. Ovens never cleaned. It stinks. It's filthy. It ends up on a hoarders show lol.

I've always said be average with all these things. Don't aim for an empty wash basket when you have 5 kids. Aim for a load done a day. As long as there's clean towels and clothes you are absolutely on top of things.

I've been defeated by the house on many occasions but I know it doesn't mean I've done nothing. It means my kids make mess as kids do.

Get the kids to help. Whether they have before or not, you need help you ask for it. Simple solution.

I just wash white shirts separately and anything new and dark. Other than that it all goes straight into the machine. It needs to be in it to wash. Anything not in the machine is not washed. Anyone dh bringing down hoards of clothes has to wash and dry them themselves.

During lockdown for the next week I would encourage anyone not out at school or work to just change underwear every day and other clothes once every couple of days. Everyone can take a turn sorting out clothes. I do tend to wash and hang clothes out to dry myself, although I am teaching the older ones to do that. Well teaching the youngest too but can only reach lower level on the line.

You have nothing to feel ashamed of. I bet lots have people have felt the same way at some point. I know I have (four sporty children here).

I used the blue ikea bags for sorting. They're soft so you can stack loads ready to go in the machine on top of each other. TBH reusable carrier bags would work too to get you through this and they're easy to keep out of the way rather than loads spread all over the place.

I can also recommend reducing the number of things you have to wash. In the summer they would have 3/4 outfits to wear; one on, one in the wash and 1/2 ready to wear. It really reduces the volume. Also, wash things less frequently. We quickly moved from single use before washing to wearing clean things again (underwear/socks/pj's andmost tops and exception). Same with pyjamas - 3 pairs one one/one off/one in the wash.

Also, I have a quick wash function that does a load in