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Real boy and girl differences

180 replies

EveryoneLoves09876 · 30/05/2020 20:21

There is so much debate about real differences in sex (as opposed to gender and culture norms). You also get so much gender disappointment and I know mumsnet is mostly girl preference, but I've had jobs working in communities where boys are enormously favoured, so don't feel too sorry for boys lol. This doesn't give the real picture.

I'd be really interested in seeing what mumsnetters think are the main differences are between their girls and boys - if they have both!! Or do you really think the differences are nothing to do with their sex?

I have a baby boy and try to be as neutral as possible, giving him all sorts of toys and clothing (e.g. dolls as well as trains, clothes from boys and girls section although I haven't actually put him in a dress!) I don't want to bring him up in a sexist way but I'm sure I am without realising it! I try not to see his traits as sex related, although family already go on about his energy and appetite as if that's a male thing. I have no daughter to compare him to!

Do you feel like this is a real difference and what are they if so?

OP posts:
Spanneroo · 06/06/2020 07:31

I had 2 DDs, then B/G twins and the amount of comments I get about their personalities being to do with their sex makes me really, really angry.

DD1 is the girliest girl you could ever meet, despite us being as careful as possibly to be neutral when she was a baby. She is also incredibly sociable and a very talented artist (takes after her dad), but also good at maths like me.

DD2 was raised surrounded by DD1s pink sparkly glitter unicorn obsession but is so far the other end of the scale that strangers often think she is a boy, even when wearing girly hand-me-downs from DD1. She is very physical, enjoys playing the 'baddy', loves a good monster, won't wear dresses, though she is also very good at drawing like DD1 and DH (which others often perceive as 'girly')

The twins are only little, but DD3 is very sociable and smiles and chatters to anyone and everyone. She is also very physical and learnt to crawl at 5 months. She is starting to pull up now and is 6 months in a week or so. DS is sensitive and quiet. He is also quite physically capable but not a patch on DD3. He needs lots more cuddles and reassurance than she does, and he generally a bit of a grump. This is exactly what DD2 was like until she was able to crawl, and she became increasingly verbose when she learnt to walk and talk. I suspect DS will be the same because he was an incredibly whiny baby until he learnt to sit, and has become increasingly less so as he hits milestones.

And yet, everyone who meets them attributes the twins' dispositions to the result of their sex, not the fact they're separate humans. DD2's needs for physical challenges and a robust style of play gets dismissed as her having 'lots of energy today'... DD1 gets no end of components for how kind or thoughtful she is, when she is no more thoughtful or kind than DD1, she's just a stereotypical girl.

It makes me really cross to think that at 6, 3, and 6 months, my children are being expected to perform to such rigid gender roles. They're kids. Let them be kids! There really is less difference between sexes than within them and I find it terribly sad that we reduce our children's experiences of the world so much by doing this to them from the minute they're born.

HugeAckmansWife · 06/06/2020 07:41

I teach in a mixed secondary school that has separate sex boarding houses. The atmosphere in the boys houses are total different to the girls. Doing a break time duty in the girls house.. One of them makes me a cup of tea, asks about my kids, chats about their hobbies and chat with each other in small groups. In the boys house they are throwing toast at each other, knocking holes in the walls with cricket balls and 'bundling' each other down the corridors. There a few who find a quiet corner just to read or play on their phone but they are in the minority.

Kiki1703 · 28/03/2024 20:06

PorpentiaScamander · 04/06/2020 13:10

@Twigletmama

I've never been able to understand why it upsets people so much that their are innate differences between the sexes. There have been noticeable differences between my two from an early age. DS has always been fascinated by vehicles and how things work. DD loves animals and role playing with cuddly toys. Both have had a wide variety of toys available to them but they have been very clear in their interests.
There have been noticeable differences between my two from a young age as well. One role played with baby dolls and cuddly toys far more than the other. One builds Lego and then displays it on a shelf. One still (at 13) builds and plays with Lego (eg making the characters do things). One loves craft. One will make things for 2 mins and get bored. One can knit. One can sew. One will google why something is broken and help fix it. One will tell me to buy a new one. One is very tidy and organised. One is a messy disorganised person. One loves reading. The other would read if their life depended on it but rarely touches a book.

If they were different sexes it would be easy to put these differences down to that. But they are both boys. The differences are down to personality. Thats all.

Love this

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IwishIdidntlikesugar · 29/03/2024 10:55

Say what you like but its always boys that want to play shooting/fighting type games. Not all boys of course.

PorpentiaScamander · 29/03/2024 11:41

IwishIdidntlikesugar · 29/03/2024 10:55

Say what you like but its always boys that want to play shooting/fighting type games. Not all boys of course.

Shit. Better tell my niece she's a boy. And my friends DDs.

Not sure why someone resurrected a 4 year old zombie thread. But as it was to say they loved my comment I'll let it go Grin

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