What's the silliest question you've ever been asked?

[handbagsatdawn33]

DH :- "I'm going to wash my car. Do you want me to do yours as well?"

His previous best was when I gave him something I'd found in Poundland :- "How much was it?"

A former boss was going to a site visit in Belfast but got lost. She phoned me at our offices in Manchester to ask me for directions. This was before Google maps but you could get online AA directions if you had street names etc.

Me: OK, so where are you?
Boss: I'm facing a red brick wall
Me: What's the street name?
Boss: How am I supposed to know? Can't you just google 'red brick wall Belfast' and tell me the directions?

It hadn't even occurred to her to phone the venue to ask.

Another time she phoned me at home on a Sunday shouting and bawling that the hotel didn't have her booking. I asked her where she was. She gave the wrong hotel name.

Me: No, you're at X hotel this week. That hotel is for next week's booking.
Boss: Why didn't you tell me before I set off?!
Me: Errr, it's Sunday? It's all in your email.
Boss: You don't expect me to read emails do you?

Will my DC grow out of their autism? Asked by my stupid and insensitive MIL. Not the first time she’s been insensitive but she’s quite young (55) and has access to bloody google on her laptop and smart phone.

I'm a graphic designer, I once had to design a poster involving a world map with various venues highlighted in different countries.

During a team meeting I presented the poster to our management.

The sales manager said that he thought it looked great but that there was too much blue between North/South America and Europe / Africa. Could I take that out?

Me: No, that's the Atlantic Ocean.

Customer who phoned the shop...started perfectly reasonable: "what size are your record cards?" (5x8 or 6x4) then followed with "and how big is that compared to my hand?"

When I told someone my 84-year-old dad was in Intensive Care, sedated and on a ventilator with bacterial meningitis and septicaemia - 'OMG, is he OK?' Another person said 'But how is he in himself...?'

A couple of weeks ago, during the Thursday clapping, a cat ran down the pavement past us looking freaked out by the noise, and shot into its garden. DS said 'Can cats hear?' He's 13!!!

When I was working behind the bar polishing glasses (I was wearing uniform and apron) a customer asked me: ''Excuse me! Do you work here?''

Someone asked me how my dad was once even though this guy was at my dad's funeral the year before!! I said he's about the same!!

Another twin one: do they have the same father?

So, do your grandparents have children?

It was the kind of half-hearted question you ask to a conversation going when you don't know what else to say.

When in Louisiana on holiday - someone asked where I was from and I said "Manchester, in the UK". Response: "Is that in France?"

For reference, my twins are identical and were usually dressed the same when babies.

"Are they twins?"

"Which one's the boy?"

"Which ones your favourite?" (wtf)

"Which ones older?"

When my daughter turned 9 she had a tattoo and nail painting party. I was asked if they would be real tattoos...........

What’s Jesus got to do with Christmas ?

Which car are we going in? From DS on the day we were going on holiday. One car had a roof box on the roof, bike racks on the back, bags rammed inside it, and DD was strapped in. The other one was not any of these things.

The opposite to Laughingdonkey
I was in a clothes shop dressed in jeans and a t-shirt with DD in a pushchair when someone asked me if I worked there.

Ever since I've known her, my MIL has kept up a string of questions about possible jobs I could apply to do, instead of the one I actually do. None of the questions is stupid on its own, but after the ninetieth time of patiently replying 'no MIL, I'm not qualified for that/no, MIL, I like my current job,' it starts to grate. And every time she will look puzzled as to why I don't find her careers advice helpful.

I also can't count how many times I have a conversation about DD, who is not my biological daughter, only have someone ask a moment later 'and do you think she's inherited that from you then?'

TBF you do fall into it. DP and I were chatting about whether sexuality is partly determined by your genes, and if so, whether our family histories would impact on DD. I had to point out it was pretty unlikely mine would.

I was asked what grade I started learning English. After I’d just told them I was from England. Even after I explained they still didn’t get it 🤦‍♀️

By text- do you know you've left your phone at home?

Well I didn't yet but...

Colleague: ‘Wow, I love your tattoos!’
Me: ‘Thank you’
Colleague: ‘How long will they last?’
Me: ‘...forever’
Colleague: ‘Really? That’s amazing!’

This was a 40 year old woman with a PhD

at these Americans being astonished at English people speaking good English! You'd think the name of the language and the country would be a bit of a giveaway, however ignorant you might be!

I once had my hair dyed a bright red, and my old boss asked if it was natural

"How long is 5 minutes?" Dss (8) yesterday...

I've NC for this as it might be outing - a genuine question I was asked by a year 10 student in a health lesson.

"Miss, if a man wants a woman to wear a strap on and do him up the bum, does that make him gay?"

Took everything I had not to laugh.

Ultrasonographer: How many weeks pregnant are you?

Me: I am not pregnant now, having had a miscarriage in which the fetus and sac came out intact.

( had been referred for scan to make sure no retained products of conception).

My 9yr daughter was told by her teacher that she couldn't have egg because she was allergic to milk.

My DD kept saying but milk is from cows and eggs are from chickens. The teacher was still adamant.

@justforthecake

I've had the same thing, but in a pub. Eventually I said, well cows don't lay eggs, do they!

It was a revelation to the waiter.