Does life really begin at 40?

[Vintagehearts]

Or so the saying goes..

I'm a few short years off of approaching 40 so just for fun, I'm intrigued about this saying?

If life begins at 40, how so and did it begin for you?

So I guess for those of us who had our kids in our early to mid 20s, our time has come to enjoy ourselves! 😄

Tabby I guess if you are 51 you're classed as "generation x"?

I was 40 when I got my depression under control, got divorced and started a new career. So in my case, yes.

What I mean is, as a generation x woman, you feel more of a connection to baby boomers who were the feminist of the 60s and 70s rather than the millennials born in the 80s and 90s who are now in their 20s and 30s?

No it does not. My life started getting increasingly shit after 40 as I developed health issues.

@TabbyStar I read that book The Curve by Jonathan Rauch I think it was and he found that in every culture and country, happiness dipped mid forties and then began to rise again at 51 or so.

This would hold true for me. I began to feel the shock that fifty was really coming at me in my mid-forties and I hadn't done any real preparation for life as an older woman. I have now.

That life began at forty phrase was from the 70 to 80 something generation and most of their children would have been independent teens by the time they were forty. I had a 3 year old on my fortieth birthday.

Life is pretty good at 60!! Retired and having loads of sex.

I turn 40 in June.

I'm pretty happy and content at the moment (although am on a moderate amount of antidepressants!).

DC are 7 and 8.

No. I think 50 is when life begins.

A different life began for me at 40 as I got married at that age and then had two kids at 41 and 43.

Absolutely not. Two major surgeries since turning 40 and multiple health conditions. Nightmare

Totally loved coming into my 40s knew who I
Was knew what I wanted all
The cliches really but best time if my
Life definitely .

No, certainly not. My worst decade by miles.

I think it's an old phrase and was created in a time when people mostly had their families in their early 20's so by the time they were 40 they're kids were almost heading off to uni. Now people are having babies when they're 40 so it's a different scenario. Personally I've never felt my life hadn't started. One dc, good career, no money worries. I'm 36 and dc will he 13 when I'm 40 but I can't see things will change dramatically in 4 years. I already have lots of freedom to do what I want-girly holidays, weekends away with dh (obvs pre COVID 😢).

Well the first couple of months of being 40 have been fucked by Covid so I'll let you know when things get back to normal

No.

I turned 40 in Feb and my life, which has steadily gone down hill for the past 15 years, has never been worse.

Well, never been worse so far. I’m sure there’s more shit to come.

Also, I spent my 40th birthday laying in a dark room, puking into a bucket while suffering from HG in this pregnancy. If anyone had told me life began at 40 that day, I’d have punched them.

I'm feeling old. While my 30s weren't great at least I wasn't 40!

@Vintagehearts I am gen x and I definitely feel more connection to millennials than I do to the generation above me.

All of the things that they remember from their childhood, I was still very young myself and I still look back on all of those things nostalgically.

When I left school (not in the UK) there was a real scarcity mindset, competition for university courses, competition for jobs. Yeh, apparently houses were affordable back then but as getting a job was a struggle, getting a house was not something that landed in the laps of all gen x-ers at 30
I feel like I hear what the Millennials struggles are and I identify with all of them. I only got my tiny house a few years ago and there was a lot of borrowing from peter to pay paul. It was also challenging to get a job that was secure.

I think it means that your life begins as your children leave the nest.
For me it'll be ages before they leave the nest as I had my 2nd baby at 43. I'll be 60ish when she leaves school

Do you feel you valued your freedom in your 20s and 30s or were you longing for the baby you had at 43?

I used to think that having a baby in your early 20s was sad that you'd lose that freedom but now, I don't know, I wonder why I thought that freedom in your 20s was superior to freedom in your 40s

Maybe you value it MORE in your forties, especially if you already know that you have a child and you know what it's like to not have freedom.

I'm 41 for me its contentment. I've worked hard to get where I am in my career, 2 happy healthy children who are 10 and 13. DH has a good position in his company, lovely house that's nearly paid off.

Lockdown had made me realise I'm really very happy and well, contented. I know I'm lucky and 2 close family members are going through very tough times so has made me look at my life with fresh eyes.

@sawollya I definitely feel better about gaining more freedom in my 40s. I think for me, the mindset of knowing I have more freedom without so much worry in my 40s is so much more freeing than being "free" in your 20s but having to worry about finding someone and having kids at some point. I don't have that worry, I've had kids so when my freedom comes my mind will be from that worry....

My life took off in my 40s. I started a company, kids finally old enough to not need me in the same way. Met my now DH. Moved etc.

It's been an interesting and exciting decade. 49 1/2 now!

I haven't really enjoyed my 40s so far (I'm 46). My30s were lovely - small children, the primary years, not working for a long time... 40s it's all become a bit tough with so many conflicting demands and lots of worries - sick parents, financial losses etc. Shit got real when I hit 40.