I feel like a bit of a failure in lockdown

[CoralReefer]

Friends have have been exercising, reading books, having zoom social events doing lots of baking (yet managing to lose weight) even doing amazing painting artwork with their dc.
I’ve read one book, put weight on, lost weight, put on again and keep forgetting to exercise except for long walks every now and then.
I feel like a bit of a loser and need to up my game. Anyone else?

You’re not a loser. I’m the same and I’m not a loser

I’ve been furloughed for two months and spent the first part glued to the news. I managed to drag myself away from and read a few books. I’ve gardened and baked a little. My concentration span and motivation was very poor and some days I just didn’t want to start the day. As I go back work next week, I can’t look back over this period and be happy with what I’ve achieved, but I can be happy that I at least survived with my sanity relatively intact. (My trust in the government is shattered though) Also we went through the baking and eating too much thing. Now we are eating very healthily!

I think most people feel like you do tbh, including those posting on social media about baking and art etc. It is easy to make it look like you've got it all together, you could do the same if you just post about the little things you have done. But you know that. I think the solution to this problem (that pretty much everyone has) is not to "up your game" - this sort of pressure is why so many people have mental healt issues. It's never enough. The thing we need to do rather, is appreciate how difficult it actually is to have all this choice, and all this pressure to perform. And to stop expecting too much of ourselves. Stop, slow down, enjoy where you are as best you can. You don't need to be someone's definition of success. Two fingers up to "upping your game".

I was feeling a bit like that-I was going to have the cleanest, tidiest house and be in top of the laundry etc. I have completely failed in that respect. However, when I thought about it this morning I realised that I know know more about plants and birds than I did before (still not much but knew absolutely bugger all before) so am feeling a bit better about my time.

I wouldn't worry. Myself and a small amount of friends were able to use the lockdown to our advantage at the very start but it'd all petered off. I have a few friends who seem to be outdoing themselves with baking or exercise and weight-loss but the only real positive I've had from this is that I've somehow found some motivation to do bits of deep cleaning and sorting. I think others near me have done much the same because so much stuff has been getting advertised for people to collect it they want. You're not a failure. And there's no winning lockdown. None of it is a competition (wish they'd tell the pots and pans clappers though)

Same here,
Been furloughed but with 3 kids by the time we have got up (late) and I’ve sat with the kids to help with school work, made lunch, more school work or a board game or a walk then tea and tidy up that’s the day gone and I’ve done nothing really.
I’ve not volunteered, I’ve not made rainbows for the windows, I’ve not lost weight or taken up running, we attempted to grow veg which have all died I think, no fantastic DIY projects as we rent, hope to move soon and not the best DIYers anyway, apart from DH family weekly zoom call I’ve not been asked to take part in zoom quizzes or virtual pubs or anything else. I bought some balsa wood for DS2 to make something but he can never be bothered and prefers to stay glued to electronics. DD asked for lots of various craft supplies, none of which she has completed.

Sod it. Do (or don’t do) whatever gets you through. Are they coming out of this any happier than you? Probably not.

I hope you're not a looser, because that would mean I am also a looser.

I've read one book (I don't usually read any) I've cooked (because my family need feeding) I've put on weight because, but I could have put on even more. I actually don't know anyone in RL who has done anything amazing during lockdown. Most people have just been dealing with what they've had to deal with like usual, except it's been different stuff.

I’m not on social media so I can’t even blame that. It’s just conversations I’m having with friends about how things are going. They’re not even showing off and they share all the bad things too. Nothing is amazing really but they always seem to have done lots of things that just come up in conversations.
I’d just like to have some more interesting things to share too. Ive been reading the What have you achieved in Lockdown thread. I would be happy if I could just say “read 4 books and lost 10lbs”

I have good days and bad days. But mainly, my focus has been on being calm and consistent, making sure there is routine and structure, and that we enjoy what we can without feeling pressure to do more than we would normally do so.

My greatest achievement so far has been two lots of baking, thai nibbles from scratch, and sushi. So not one whole hell of a lot!

No weight loss here but have done more walking and enjoyed being outside more. Made one jigsaw. Baked a few cakes. House still a tip.

Well, I have kept me and ds in good mental and physical health, done the required amount of work for both of us, kept the house to a passable standard, kept in touch with friends and family. There's been a few shining moments of creativity or productivity. There's also been way too much sleeping and screen time..... and a few tears.

I'm not a failure and neither are you, we're here and we're getting through a challenging situation in our own way. Stop beating yourself up.

I honestly think it is just how different people cope with situations. I am naturally a do-er and have done loads extra in lockdown such as bread baking, artistic stuff and exercise. I think it is my way of exerting control over something I have no control over. However, my kids are adults and I’ve gained loads of time not commuting, and my house is still as messy as ever.

Well, when it comes down to it, I guess I’m unhappy feeling like I’m not achieving much. I’m happier achieving things and don’t understand why I’m in such a slump. I need a kick up the backside to get things done instead of just wishing for it.

Well, what would you like to achieve CoralReefer? Is there a skill or hobby that you'd like to master?

I had my Ds go very low and have been myself - apart from gaining weight increasing my alcohol intake I have been doing a lot but mainly because my mood drops if I don’t .

That said I decided I am going to chill out this weekend ( I am still working with Dc )

Don’t believe everything you see on social media, OP

What have you been doing then?
Do you have children?

And genuine question
How can you “forget to exercise”

There is no prize for having read the most, or the best books during lockdown. No prize for baking, exercising, weight loss, rainbows or clapping or wearing the fanciest ball gown to put the bin out or whatever. All those things are fine and lovely if they are what people want to do but if you don’t....then don’t. I doubt anyone is going to lose a job, their life or the respect and esteem of their friends and family because they didn’t. Just do what makes you happy or at least keeps you safe and sane.

I have 3 school aged dc, I work very part time and have a dh who is very stressed and working long hours.
Having a think about it, I guess I’m feeling that I’ve not been able to do anything for myself.
It just seems days of supporting kids and making sure things are done at home.

Honestly you have looked after 3 children in lockdown .

I have been given books off my friends who have read them . I am wondering where they found the time .

Lots of people have gained weight during lockdown . Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing

I think that ‘I kept my shit together‘ is a perfectly acceptable answer tbh.

I’ve gained weight, stopped running, failed at home schooling and spend hours on my phone instead of reading the lovely novels I have piling up. Definitely a failure.

Ummm. I kept my shit mostly together. And I managed to survive remote go-live of a major IT system and train my team over zoom. I’ve been working way longer hours as I literally have to schedule everyone else’s day and help them through it.
I’m going to crawl out of lockdown two stone heavier, suffering from exhaustion, and my house is a tip. But you know, we got through it. We had an outbreak at work before everyone was laid off or wfh and I was low-level symptomatic for the first four weeks. I worked through it but it was shit scary. 75% of my colleagues were laid off instantly so I’m grateful every day, however hard it is. I’m just grateful we are all healthy.
Do I wish I had lost a stone and created something beautiful with my own bare hands? Yeah, course. But I feel like that in normal times. I can’t even grow a lawn.
One day.