Thread inspired by another thread - what would your mum do if you were kidnapped by Parisian sex traffickers?

[Preoleai]

I couldn’t sleep last night, and ended up reading the thread in classics inspired by the Liam Neeson film, Taken. Laughed so much that any chance of sleep went completely by the board! And then I started wondering what my mum would do.

I think she’d probably first need someone to tell her what sex traffickers were, and that, yes, there really are such people in the world. She’d need a long detailed explanation as to why they chose me, where they found me, how many of them there were, how old they were, where they lived, what their parents did, what cars they drove, what their children were called - you get the picture.

Then she’d ring her friends to explain what had happened and to ask what she should do. Having heard their advice, she’d decide she couldn’t act on any of it because she’s not clever enough (she is) or not brave enough (she is) or doesn’t speak french well enough (she doesn’t).

Then she’d go round to Katie next door to ask her to feed the cat, and end up staying for an hour and a cup of tea. Because offending Katie is of course worse than losing her daughter to sex traffickers (who she still wouldn’t really believe existed).

Then she’d need a bit of time to hoover the stairs (a daily activity that CANNOT be forgone. I’m not sure why).

Anyway, finally, at some point - perhaps about six weeks after learning of my plight - she’d arrive in Paris. By which time I’d have been spirited far far away. She’d have a conversation with the concierge of her hotel who would tell her that of course sex traffickers didn’t exist, she would sigh with relief and say that she knew such awful people didn’t exist. She would return home, happy in the knowledge that all was well, and very pleased with the Eiffel Tower tea towels she’d bought for her friends and Katie next door.

I’m not sure at what point it would occur to her that I was nowhere to be seen and that she hadn’t heard from me in a while.

I love my mum but if I have to rely on her to rescue me from the traffickers, I’m toast!

What would your mums do? :)

Can you link the Classics thread please?

I honestly think my mum would find them and would kill them. She’s feisty

Create an absolutely almighty stink about it to anyone and everyone, up to and including the PM, POTUS, any leader anywhere. She's tiny but incredibly feisty!

My mum is small and feisty too Fairly sure I would be returned in short order and I would be given a bollocking for letting myself be caught up with their sort!

She knows her way around Paris so as long as the French Open wasn’t on, she’d shame them into good behaviour and give them a good clout with something.

Flap and panic. Luckily my brother lives with my parents so he would do something constructive like ringing the police.

Now if someone took my DS, I'd ring my Mum and Dad to sort it!

I’m really sorry but I don’t know how to link. It’s called (unsurprisingly!) “What would your dad do if you were kidnapped by Parisian sex traffickers?”

My mum would nod sagely in her house on the hill and say “ I knew she’d come to no good” and tsk and have a smirk. She might not tell anyone for awhile but then she would for sympathy about her rotten daughter. then one of her friends would tell one of my aunts who may round up my uncles to get on the case. They’re all in their 70s but still hard nuts, they may have a 5% chance of rescue.

Say she KNEW something like this was going to happen with my odd ideas about having a career, phone everyone she knows so she can tell them in the most dramatic way possible, and pray for my safe return because once it’s in gods hands that’s it sorted.

Probably say 'oh dear' then start talking about herself, my dad, my auntie, the contents of their cupboards and her pressure cooker

@DDIJ

She would slut shame me and find a way to make it all my fault. Then she would talk at length about the inconvenience I had caused to everyone else.

That’s exactly what my mother would do. You summed it up well

Oh DDIJ I’m sorry - maybe we could set the sex traffickers on to kidnapping her instead.

She would call her more worldly brothers and demand that they sort it out.

And yours Royal.

Mine would probably post a link to a petition on Facebook along with some memes. She doesn't do cities or people, or, in fact, leaving the house unless it involves going to see some wildlife, so, unless she could combine a trip to Paris with some bird watching, I'd be on my own!

My mum would find me in a hour, bring me home, get a chippy tea on the way back and say she’s glad that’s all sorted she’s got a busy day tomorrow

Initially she would struggle to answer the phone as it has call guardian and she can't work it out.

After that she would post a vague meme with a picture of a beach on Facebook stating "loss is a shadow on her heart" prompting lots of sad face reactions.

She would then await my return and quickly point out the high risk of hiv and hepatitis for sex trafficking victims.

@DDIJ we are sisters! My mum would also call for a bottle of wine and flirt outrageously with the sex traffickers and apologise for what a handful i’d been

She probably wouldn't even know until she read about my liberation (or demise) from the sex traffickers in the news.

I posted about my Dad on the original thread, and briefly mentioned my Mum I think.

She’d wail. Call everyone she knew to come and support her. Then she’d put up a hysterical Facebook status, tag herself as 🙄 then reply to every comment with, I’ll inbox you. Then she’d probably have the Doctor out to sedate her.

My MIL, on the other hand, is a pocket rocket, and would galvanise everyone to come and get me, leading the charge. She’d also bring snacks and a bottle of wine for me 😬

Blame me then tell me not to get upset about it in case ‘it made me depressed.’

My DM would not have heard any of it because she’s be far too busy regaling everyone with a story about her hairdressers aunties window cleaners bunion operation. I’d have to rely on MIL to sort it, which she would do, after stopping for a cup of tea first!

My mother would do similar to @DDIJ but she is ferocious (her GP once told me he referred to her as 'The Rottweiler') so I would be promptly returned as the kidnappers would shit themselves and want her out of their lives ASAP.

I probably would be disappointed to be rescued and taken away by my mother, because even a life as a Parisian sex slave would be preferable to spending time with her.

My DM would rock up with some Yorkshire teabags and proceed to suck the life stories out of the sex traffickers, armed with only an out of date ginger cake ("they were on offer in Home Bargains") or half a dozen toasted teacakes.
She would then tell them she's been sober for eighteen months, that you've got to like what you see in the mirror first, and start showing them pictures of her grandson.
After that I suspect they'd chuck the pair of us out, gibbering, and lock the door after us thanking God for their safe deliverance from the Lancashie witches.

My Mum would put out a post on Facebook which would get shared far and wide as she is surprisingly prolific on there. Then she would ring the foreign office and demand action very politely, and then post again on Facebook about how useless Boris Johnson is. Then she would wibble and eat lots of carbs. One of her low carbing social media friends would probably turn out to live in Paris, be a lean muscular body builder and set about rescuing me. She would say isn't the world wonderful and go on a diet.