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Original poster

DD7 keeps spitting out food

56 replies

AllForAnEasyLife · 29/05/2020 19:10

Dd7 has over the last 2 weeks been spitting out her food at mealtimes.

So she will put the food in her mouth, chew it and then spit it in tissues and pile them up next to her at the table.

She says she cant eat it or she doesn't like it etc.

I say to her that if she doesn't want it thats fine just leave it. However she wants to eat the food and then eat snacks and sweet food afterwards so i think shes trying to get rid of the savoury food in order to have a dessert.

I thought it was a reaction to being out of her routine for so long and not having any contact with friends etc. She has now gone back to school as we are key workers and im unable to not work any longer.

She was extremely pleased about going back and over the last week no spitting of food was happening.

However tonight we are back to it again.

Dd tells me that at school if they provide the packed lunch (on 2 occasions) she stands over the bin eating the sandwich and then spitting it out.

I only serve meals that i know she likes, she chooses her own portion too.

She asks for food alot but when given it she will eat 1/4 of it then not want it.

She always wants a sweet pudding after meals which we are trying to discourage and implement that sweet stuff is not an everyday thing. If fruit or yoghurt is offered after meals instead she very often declines it.

She is not over weight but is slowly dropping centiles. She was on the 91st and now shes on the 83rd.

Dh wants to not let her leave the table until food has finished but i really don't want to do this. He also wants to ban all snacks and sweet stuff until she can eat savoury food for a good while.

I don't know what to do

OP posts:
Namey32 · 29/05/2020 19:20

Stop all the sweet stuff? Spitting is disgusting. She's 7 and old enough to understand that it's not acceptable.

Original poster
AllForAnEasyLife · 29/05/2020 19:23

Im worried about stopping all sweet stuff and then it becoming the forbidden fruit which makes it more appealing.

OP posts:
gamerchick · 29/05/2020 19:23

I'd ban the sweet stuff temporarily. Just don't buy it.

I'd also keep a close eye on it in case it develops into some sort of eating disorder.

Interested in this thread?

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7 year olds Families General food
Original poster
AllForAnEasyLife · 29/05/2020 19:26

We are worried about it developing into an eating disorder.

I want her to have a really healthy attitude to food but i ve no idea how to implement it.

I did start a thing were if you have asked for it and said how much you want of it then you have to eat it but that resulted in tears at the table with the food in her mouth saying she couldnt eat it

OP posts:
pinktaxi · 29/05/2020 19:30

The sweet stuff has to stop. She has already developed an eating disorder called spitting out food!

Gumbo · 29/05/2020 19:31

This sounds a bit like she's developing a phobia to swallowing. (I'm currently going through something similarwith my son and this resonates...)
If she genuinely feels that she can't eat or swallow the food then she isn't doing it on purpose, and a chat to the GP might be a good idea.

Schoenes · 29/05/2020 19:32

Oh, do please try to parent her. Ban all sweets and all snacks. If she spits food out she is not hungry. Let her go without until she sees sense and eats again. Do not pander to yet another fussy eater.

Original poster
AllForAnEasyLife · 29/05/2020 19:33

At first we thought it could be a swallowing issue but she never spits out sweet food, only savoury which made me think it wasn't a swallowing issue?

OP posts:
Russell19 · 29/05/2020 19:34

OK....this is a difficult one. You said she plans the meals with you so you know it's stuff she likes? What kind of sweet stuff is she wanting after dinner? I think she's old enough to know its unacceptable so you need to set her consequences that don't include taking pudding off her. Give her warnings, "if you do that again you'll have tv time taken away" or whatever it is she likes. And follow through with it.
Just consider it could be something to do with disordered eating, although if she's eating snacks and sweets it seems unlikely.

Original poster
AllForAnEasyLife · 29/05/2020 19:38

Its ice cream, constantly asking to make cakes etc or crisps any sort of rubbish really

OP posts:
Elieza · 29/05/2020 20:06

Decide on a healthy eating week for the whole family?
Gets lots of healthy stuff. Bin the snacks and cakes etc (or hide and nobody eats any and tell her they are binned) and that will break the habit?

She’ll soon stop spitting her dinner out if she’s told all she can get later is bread or vegetables if she’s hungry. After a couple of days she’ll have had enough of being hungry as no snacks appear even if she cries and begs and will eat her dinner?

DamnYankee · 29/05/2020 20:13

I want her to have a really healthy attitude to food but i ve no idea how to implement it

All evidence indicate this is less about her relationship with food and more of a behavior issue. Treat it as such.

This behavior sounds like it's become a huge focus at mealtimes and netted her a lot attention. For a while, I would serve her small portions yourself. If she wants more after she eats that, you dole her out some more. I don't think this will last forever: she'll be able to serve herself eventually. However, I think allowing her to serve herself her own portions is setting yourselves up for an emotional dinner.
I would not cajole her to eat, either.
I think your DH is right about treats, though.
I wouldn't worry about her percentile dropping, either. Many kids start to shoot up/thin down at her age.

Russell19 · 29/05/2020 20:31

@AllForAnEasyLife

Its ice cream, constantly asking to make cakes etc or crisps any sort of rubbish really
I think you've had some harsh replies but this needs to be gradually stopped. Can you start weaning her off?
BarbedBloom · 29/05/2020 20:32

I had a texture issue with food and would do something like this. I would say stop sweet stuff for a while or make it very occasional as I think a balance of all things is good. However please don't do the stay at the table thing, that did give me an eating disorder

FraughtwithGin · 29/05/2020 20:34

I think you need to get her a food pyramid poster and talk through why food (of all kinds) is important for her body, what it does, what her body needs and why she needs it.
Also praise the food chewing - most of us do not chew enough (often because we are eating the wrong things) and it really starts the digestive process.
Perhaps if she can understand that food is important "fuel" for her body and provides building blocks for growth etc., her attitude might change.
At 7 I would try and introduce the concepts from a "something special that only "older" people know" point of view.

Floralnomad · 29/05/2020 20:38

At 7 she’s old enough to know that you don’t chew up food and spit it out . If she were mine I’d be saying 1 snack / crap item per day after tea if there’s been no spitting out of food and if she chooses not to eat the healthy stuff then she will be hungry for a while until she does .

Thiswontendwell · 29/05/2020 20:41

Are you sure she was on the 92st centile?
Even the 83rd centile means she’s heavier than 83 out of 100 children her age.
50th centile is average weight....
So, even if we feel these things are a little bit over zealous, I’m not sure you should worry yet about weight loss.
And if she’s eating sweet stuff then there’s no swallowing issue.
Has she always not eaten savoury stuff or is this new behaviour?

DamnYankee · 29/05/2020 20:48

And wouldn't her school let you know if she was spitting food into the trash at lunchtime? I'd check!

Original poster
AllForAnEasyLife · 29/05/2020 20:57

She’s 126cm in height and weighs 4 stone 7 pound. She’s 8 in October.

Shes always had a very sweet tooth and I’m pestered a lot to get haribo, ice cream etc when I do the food shop.

My sister likes to talk to her about sweet stuff, likes to take her to the sweet shop etc but she doesn’t spend as much time with her these days.

Dd has stayed over at my sisters and threw up everywhere as my dsis has allowed her to eat a large amount of sweet stuff.

This has happened on approx 5 occasions over the years. I do say to my dsis to stop making sweet stuff a topic with dd but all I get is “well she likes it”.

I don’t think this has helped

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 29/05/2020 21:06

Stop blaming your sister it’s absolutely not her fault , a couple of days eating crap here and there hasn’t caused this issue

porktangle · 29/05/2020 21:09

I work with paediatric swallowing disorders and a swallow difficulty goes cross all food types, it's not specific to savoury or sweet etc so she would be struggling with all solid food, not just some. You'd see coughing and spluttering when trying to swallow, wet voice, chest infections etc.

She's got a behavioural feeding disorder though somehow linked to food she wants. As long as she's not autistic (rules are different then), you need to stop all the sweet stuff and break the connection to begin with and rebuild back up again. Completely ignore the behaviours around food. Meals are there, she either eats or doesn't but sweet afters are never an option. No fuss, no anxiety, no anger. If things don't improve after a month or two, I'd be requesting a referral to a paediatric psychologist.

slipperywhensparticus · 29/05/2020 21:13

Tell her she is not to spit ffs sit there and stare at your plate if you must but no spitting its disgusting

ElectricTonight · 29/05/2020 21:22

If my daughter was to spit her food out she would be straight to her bedroom. Ban all sweet stuff until she learns some manners and starts eating her dinners.

Are you giving her her pudding after she's spat a whole plate of food out in front of you?

MumUndone · 29/05/2020 21:54

Give her fruit / yoghurt with her meal so it's not 'pudding' and nothing else that is sweet. She can choose what to eat and what not to it, don't make it a battle.

Haworthia · 29/05/2020 21:59

I’m going to go against the grain with all the hard disciplinarians here. This is not about manners and I think it goes WAY beyond just hoping for pudding.

I think there’s something deeper going on. Spitting out food is a strange thing to do at 7 (amazed school haven’t raised the alarm about a child chewing a sandwich over the bin then spitting it out). She’s young for an eating disorder but this is serious and it should be taken seriously.

My hunch is anxiety. Have you asked her why she does it? Why she “can’t” eat?