DD7 keeps spitting out food

[AllForAnEasyLife]

Dd7 has over the last 2 weeks been spitting out her food at mealtimes.

So she will put the food in her mouth, chew it and then spit it in tissues and pile them up next to her at the table.

She says she cant eat it or she doesn't like it etc.

I say to her that if she doesn't want it thats fine just leave it. However she wants to eat the food and then eat snacks and sweet food afterwards so i think shes trying to get rid of the savoury food in order to have a dessert.

I thought it was a reaction to being out of her routine for so long and not having any contact with friends etc. She has now gone back to school as we are key workers and im unable to not work any longer.

She was extremely pleased about going back and over the last week no spitting of food was happening.

However tonight we are back to it again.

Dd tells me that at school if they provide the packed lunch (on 2 occasions) she stands over the bin eating the sandwich and then spitting it out.

I only serve meals that i know she likes, she chooses her own portion too.

She asks for food alot but when given it she will eat 1/4 of it then not want it.

She always wants a sweet pudding after meals which we are trying to discourage and implement that sweet stuff is not an everyday thing. If fruit or yoghurt is offered after meals instead she very often declines it.

She is not over weight but is slowly dropping centiles. She was on the 91st and now shes on the 83rd.

Dh wants to not let her leave the table until food has finished but i really don't want to do this. He also wants to ban all snacks and sweet stuff until she can eat savoury food for a good while.

I don't know what to do

Ratbagcatbag

That's what I was going to ask. Kids like to feel that they have control. Food is an easy one to control with as it's quite an emotive thing (guilt of them going hungry/not wanting to have negativity at the table etx)

How's her behaviour been generally?

A control thing makes sense - it's a bloody confusing time at the minute, and even more so for kids. From the timing, it wasn't a pre-Covid behaviour?

Her behaviour is very good actually. Shes very good with her sibling, has been doing lots of craft things which she loves doing (shes extremely artistic)

It was pre corona that it started but it seems to be getting worse.

Im very tempted to not alter any meals and just say “take it or leave it”

Just a thought, I have a good pallet, always have, and some savoury foods were just too much for me and I'd refuse the food, I'd not ask for pud or store it but would push it round my plate and then scrape it out the back window for the dogs once everyone else left the table.

I only wondered as the foods you say she dislikes are the exact ones I hated too, it was all down to the cooked texture, smell and taste overpowering me.

If she likes fish fingers maybe get her to make some with you so home made? If you love to cook with onions blend them so they are totally invisible, see if she'll try raw mushrooms as the taste is mild.

I feel this is a sensory thing and you may have to bland out her food for a bit.

My youngest will eat anything, great eater. Eldest absolutely awful, she was fantastic until she was about 18 months old, got a viral infection she was quite unwell and then it all went to shit, she would only touch milk, took me months and months to get her to eat properly again. Now she is still fussy, however we have a rule, breakfast must be cereal or porridge this included a piece of fruit, we chop up fruit of her choice for lunch sometimes she will ask for 2, dinner times, I blend all kinds of veg into my meals, we make homemade pizzas, blend things into the sauce, spaghetti Bol veg into the sauce, she must have a small veg side at dinner of her choosing that she likes, managed to get her to eat peas, carrots and broccoli, this has taken me years of trying and failing, however we have got there slowly. I’ve not made a fuss, started slow with roast dinner literally 1 piece of carrot and 5 peas, she’s 12 now and I don’t want her to have food issues at this age it’s so important, she understands the importance of healthy diet etc and makes more effort herself now, but I give her the choice and have always involved her in cooking so she can’t blame me if she doesn’t like it.

Children with food issues often have a lot of anxiety around food, which can cause related behaviour at mealtimes (can be refusing to come to table, refusing to eat, spitting, retching, crying and tantrums).

Sometimes a certain event can cause or escalate the child's eating issues (often illness, vomiting, certain medical procedures, being forced to eat something that can't tolerate). Sometimes it's related to sensory issues (especially if child is neurodiverse).

The problem is, if the behaviour is anxiety driven, punishments and rewards will have no effect. You need to read up on how to support kids with eating issues. Ellyn Satter and the division of responsibility in feeding is a really good start.