Childcare - worth it?

[Modestandatinybitsexy]

This is long, sorry! I'm due back to work soon. I've been very luck to secure a coveted term time only, school hours admin job. I have a 3yo DS and 1yo dd.

We're very lucky in that my mil is a CM and doesn't charge us. Previously she had DS 3 & 1/2 days a week while I worked. My new job is 5 days a week and mil has Fridays off so we have to find a nursery space for dc that day, and DS gets 30 hours so ahead of school I'd like him to attend 3 days as he's only ever been looked after by family.

Doing the maths nursery costs for both could match my new salary. DH has asked the valid question do we want me earning "just for others to look after our children" when I could stay home and we wouldn't be any worse off financially.

My argument is that this mat leave has highlighted how much of a homemaker I am not and I feel working will help me appreciate my time with the kids more and I don't think I'd find another position that would work so well around school when I would want to return to work in the future.

I know many other couples have had similar conversations, I know the nursery costs aren't just my own - I don't believe that's what DH is saying - just is the cost to us as a family (monetary and otherwise) worth it in the long run?

Took me over a year of volunteering and about 20 job interviews to get a school office job. Might not seem worth it now but when your kids are at school, you will be so pleased you work in a school!! I have never looked back!

I would only do it if the school hours term time only job fulfills a passion of yours. Otherwise, look for an amazing job you love that will take you somewhere and bank the experience to make the costs of childcare worth it.

When mine was in nursery, my salary just covered the costs of childcare (obviously we both shared the cost, but I mean my contribution to the household income).

But it was worth that investment. 5 years later, I make double that. Dh and I share the school’s runs (in normal circumstances) and no one’s career has taken a hit. I don’t have a school hours term time only job, because I don’t need one. We have enough income to get help where we need it (school holidays), but we make enough that we can share the afternoon pick ups. If I hadn’t banked all those years of experience pre-school, it would be harder.

Yes, it’s lovely to have time when they are little, but I’d also think about earnings and flexibility and also your passions when they are big and don’t need you as much anymore. If you can cultivate doing something you love, it’s worth using these years to figure out how (childcare is so much easier when they’re little!).

I worked for two years for zero net gain whatsoever. But it paid off massively in the long term with career progression, being able to argue for the hours I wanted, and a final salary pension.
Do it - it's an investment.

Would your dh pay for a training course for himself that wouldn't yield any benefits this year but would in a couple of years? Of course he would! Once your dc is at school you'll be quids in.

Thanks for all the advice. I've had a look into fees - so many local nurseries don't have them on the website but I asked a couple of mum friends and the higher end of the scale in this area is £66 a day - so half of my worst case scenario!

I'm thrilled to have a part time school hours job for all the reasons outlined in this thread. I'm not the career type, my background is in educational admin and I'd have to retrain to be able to earn even half of what DH does. It's the best of both worlds, a lot of time with the family but still keeping my brain engaged and some adult conversation.

I am aware that I am sacrificing for my family. Obviously I don't feel DH and I will ever break up, we've been together since we were teenagers, but you never know what the future holds. I live a middling life, never quite "reaching my potential" at school. I lack passion and I still don't know what I want to do when I'm older. If we were to split he would probably be an arsehole about it but I would probably come out the same or better off than if we hadn't been together and with my children to show for it. At the same time I can see how much DH gets with my support and I'm happy I get to share in this too.

Thank you for all the advice and support here. It's been really helpful to know that this is the right thing to do for me and my family even if I'm not raking in the pounds.

Yes definitely take the job, it sounds like it's something you really want to do, and you are important too. It will also really come into its own with your children start school, congratulations on the job.

One thing you'd need to check asap is if there are actually spaces in your preferred nursery. Nurseries near us have over 1 year waiting lists, for the best nurseries people put names down before the child is even born! That may not be the case for you but I would really recommend calling some nurseries to enquire asap as this may change your plans somewhat.

@Modestandatinybitsexy your DHs stance seems sensible and measured, it is worth considering all options before making a decision like this. But it sounds like it would do you good to be working, and a school hours job is like catching a unicorn, don’t pass it up. The cost will be less than you think, and look into tax free childcare help too.